Do you guys really, honestly "NOT CARE" when you get rejected?

[otr4]

I don't get it...
I had an awesome date with a truly cool and beautiful girl yesterday--I had her laughing the whole time we hung out, we had a lot in common, etc.
Today I get home and she wrote me an e-mail saying she didn't think we had a "chemistry" going on. I WAS SHOCKED! I can't figure out what went wrong...the ONLY thing I can can think of is that she didn't like the way I looked (the date went really well...)
I'm feeling really down right now and JUST DON'T GET how you guys can actually just move on and "NOT CARE" if a girl just isn't into you.
Are you guys for real? Can you really have such a hard shell that you can just easily brush it off when you get rejected? If so, what exactly have you done (or do) to achieve this? I would like some advice because I'm feeling low right now. (Also, would you guys respond back to this girls e-mail if you were in my situation?).

 

[aBAzLLnA]

...By remaining totally calm and always having fun. By always remembering that girls are only for fun. By eliminating desires. And by remembering that there are more women in this world than men .

~ivan

 

[otr4]

Ivan,
Your advice is good, but don't you EVER take rejection as a blow to your self esteem? Its tough and I loose A LOT of confidence FAST when this happens...

 

[aBAzLLnA]

To avoid getting an ego hit, get rid of your ego and you'll be invulnerable. It's impossible for one man to catch all the women in this world, and it's impossible that all the women in the world would love one man...

Why should I care what a woman thinks of me? I am my own man, and why should others opinions affect me?

Your rejections will only help you man. What doesn't hurt, won't teach.

~ivan

 

[JT47319]

Constructive criticism, but did you phase shift and project a sexual state?

Remember, there are TWO BUCKETS: C&F and Rapport. You need to remember to fill them both up and not just stick to being "the funny guy."

 

[jakethasnake]

Dude, you make it sound like some demented science project.


JT: "... now add a drop of sodium nitrate...."

 

[otr4]

JT47319:
Could you briefly explain what you mean by "phase shift?" Also, could you (or anyone else) give advice about whether or not you would write this girl back or if I have any hope AT ALL in this situation. Thanks

 

[jakethasnake]

If I'm not mistaken, 'phase-shifting' is shifting her state of mind from one to another, i.e. from 'non-sexual' to 'sexual'. I'm still new to mASF, so I'm not sure. Just my -0.002 pesos.

 

[Viking25]

Originally posted by otr4
I don't get it...
I had an awesome date with a truly cool and beautiful girl yesterday--I had her laughing the whole time we hung out, we had a lot in common, etc.
Today I get home and she wrote me an e-mail saying she didn't think we had a "chemistry" going on. I WAS SHOCKED! I can't figure out what went wrong...the ONLY thing I can can think of is that she didn't like the way I looked (the date went really well...)
I'm feeling really down right now and JUST DON'T GET how you guys can actually just move on and "NOT CARE" if a girl just isn't into you.
Are you guys for real? Can you really have such a hard shell that you can just easily brush it off when you get rejected? If so, what exactly have you done (or do) to achieve this? I would like some advice because I'm feeling low right now. (Also, would you guys respond back to this girls e-mail if you were in my situation?).

Sounds like you provided her with free intertainment!
Try to kiss girl somewhere in the midlle of the date...that way you'll know before hand if she is interested
Another possibility: this is major sh1t test! You should write back to her saying that you are agree with her and you didnt feel any chemistry either and LJBF her! Then see how she reacts...she might ask you to hang out again ( not really a hang out,but another date!)
Either way..dont beg her for anything and LJBF her.

 

[JT47319]

In easy to understand terms, to go from a funny "guy" that's seeking rapport with her, to a SEXUAL MAN.

 

[playa in trainin']

Originally posted by jakethasnake
If I'm not mistaken, 'phase-shifting' is shifting her state of mind from one to another, i.e. from 'non-sexual' to 'sexual'. I'm still new to mASF, so I'm not sure. Just my -0.002 pesos.

Pesos? Where you from? Philippines?

 

[jakethasnake]

No. Los Angeles. I just said 'pesos' for no real reason.

 

[david90]

part of being a Dj is learning to handle rejections.

 

[bootlegger]

Maybe she thinks your funny.

not ha ha funny. not funny like a clown. like you amuse her.

but funny queer funny.

 

[Mercenary]

Dating is just like one big sexual RPG. Every encounter you have with women gives you experience with which you better your skills. Even if an encounter is "unsuccessful" it still serves as a tool for learning. In that way, I don't despise my failures. *casts lvl. 3 ****y+funny*

In addition, because I do not give women higher value then they deserve, I feel that they are interchangable and replaceable (especially in the early stages of dating). So if a particular courtship goes sour, I really don't feel that I am at a "loss" or that she has "devalued" me by rejecting me.

 

[Gold Heart]

Some girls no matter what just want someone for the way they look and you can't change that. Maybe she liked PR guys and you were white, or she liked Asian guys and you were black. Something like that, you know? There's no such thing as 100%. Something can always go wrong.

Don't put your self-esteem on the line. All for fun. Just think of it as paying your dues. You need to have some trouble before you get the cream.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by otr4
Are you guys for real? Can you really have such a hard shell that you can just easily brush it off when you get rejected?

I'll answer your question directly ... I have gotten hurt before, and probably more times than I should have. Heck, it wasn't with very good looking girls either, but I thought things were going well. It takes a little longer for some to recover than others, but it will reside. I think it's normal to feel hurt, because we're human. I think I'm still vulnerable to getting hurt, so you're not alone. The key is pulling yourself back up and moving on. The faster you get back up, the better you're off.

If I were you, I wouldn't respond to her email. It doesn't do any good. Take the high road. Just my thoughts.

 

[Engee]

Originally posted by Mercenary
Dating is just like one big sexual RPG. Every encounter you have with women gives you experience with which you better your skills. Even if an encounter is "unsuccessful" it still serves as a tool for learning. In that way, I don't despise my failures. *casts lvl. 3 ****y+funny*

Nerdy, but incredibly true. For me, each woman is a truly learning experience.

 

[Interpol]

I wouldn't say I don't care AT ALL when I get rejected. When something like your scenario happens to me, I do feel disappointed, mainly in myself.

The difference between the DJ and the AFC is that the DJ can put rejection behind him relatively quickly, and does the best to learn from his mistakes rather then let failure get him down.

So you fvcked up with this girl - it's natural to feel upset. But DON'T try to beg this girl into giving you another date. Just think about where you went wrong and move right on to the next girl.

 

[aBAzLLnA]

If I were you, I wouldn't respond to her email. It doesn't do any good. Take the high road.

E-mails are weak in general. Try to stay away from that stuff.

~ivan

PS: Oddtech, where in Boston are you from?