"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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do you guys ever open with a compliment?

moneyisking

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i am just curious. i heard from someone that girls only respond to sexuality (was it pook) and i figure that opening up with "hey you're cute, what's your name" is pretty sexual and forward. don't know probably work with certain fellas only? what do yal think?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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corrector

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No, no, no, you are supposed to say, "hey you're cute, do you want to fvck?" which would be less sexually forward than asking for her name and much more ambigious. Try this tamer approach instead.
 

f283000

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i am just curious. i heard from someone that girls only respond to sexuality (was it pook) and i figure that opening up with "hey you're cute, what's your name" is pretty sexual and forward. don't know probably work with certain fellas only? what do yal think?
2 things

1. Don't compliment women unless they deserve it: This is a pretty basic rule that will keep you out of trouble. Any decent looking woman gets complimented on a daily/weekly basis by guys trying to get into their pants. Don't be just another one of those guys that she puts into her "trying to get something out of me with nice words" category.

It's better not to compliment at all till they actually have earned your compliments. Have they gone out with you yet? have they kissed you yet? have they had secks with you yet? Then you can start compliment.

2. If you don't want to follow that rule use GENUINE/NON GENERIC COMPLIMENTS: Telling a girl she is cute and asking for her name right after is a generic compliment. She has heard this a million times.

Instead use a bit of brainpower to come up with a genuine compliment that will set you apart rather than just another horny guy noticing her beauty.

"You know that purple blouse you're wearing I think it looks excellent. It goes really well with the brown color of your hair and your blue eyes. It gives you an exotic mediterranean look"

Just made something up but kinda bad just to give an example of an interesting compliment that shows your power of observation to her as opposed to "you're cute." You actually gave her a good observation of something interesting you noticed about her.

3. Don't use "you're cute" use the word SEXY: Advocated by just about every pua out there this word is powerful I know from first hand experience. If you don't want to find good compliments to give her just give her this one. It works. It tells her you see her in a sexual way. It makes her feel good and it makes her see you in a more sexual way as well.

Telling a woman I find her sexy has done wonders for me in fact I try to use it as often as I can and as soon as I can to avoid "the friend zone."
 

Jitterbug

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Yeah, if it's a compliment that shows you're a man with style & good discerning taste. Basically a DHV in PUA lingo. Think show producer looking for promising young actresses. That's the frame you want to be in.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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moneyisking

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so f28500, when you mentioned to give compliments only if they deserved them... can you specify the "deserved" part more clearly? i mean, do they have to do something for me or something to deserve it? your advice is much appreciated.
 

Ciel

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bigneil said:
Never open with a compliment.
Some would say opening indirectly displays a lack of balls, whereas opening direct(showing you like her) does not.
 

Rogue

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moneyisking said:
i am just curious. i heard from someone that girls only respond to sexuality (was it pook) and i figure that opening up with "hey you're cute, what's your name" is pretty sexual and forward. don't know probably work with certain fellas only? what do yal think?
1) Women do respond to sexuality, physically, but not verbally. Women talk of sex when turned on, are turned on by the talk of sex by their lovers, but they are already turned on by their lovers. The talk is simply the bubbling up of underlying sexual dynamics from underneath the ocean. Speaking of a (straight-forwardly) compliment when you approach a chick for the first time reeks of forcing intimacy and comes off as contrived. It is weak game. Sarcasm is your friend.

2) Compliments are earned, not given freely.

3) Watch the movie Vicki Christina Barcelona for an example of good direct opening game.
 

PokerStar

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I sometimes open with a compliment but then i immediately follow with a neg hit.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Ciel

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Rogue said:
1) Women do respond to sexuality, physically, but not verbally. Women talk of sex when turned on, are turned on by the talk of sex by their lovers, but they are already turned on by their lovers. The talk is simply the bubbling up of underlying sexual dynamics from underneath the ocean. Speaking of a (straight-forwardly) compliment when you approach a chick for the first time reeks of forcing intimacy and comes off as contrived. It is weak game. Sarcasm is your friend.
You still haven't told us how you open.
 

Rogue

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Ciel said:
You still haven't told us how you open.
I speak more with my bold engaging eyes and alpha body language than any words which comes out of my mouth. It's good to learn the art of improv comedy, where you draw from your situational environment, agree & amplify.
 

moneyisking

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oh i see. so it is more important to initiate kino and such than the words?
 

bigneil

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Ciel said:
Some would say opening indirectly displays a lack of balls, whereas opening direct(showing you like her) does not.
Others would say getting shot down 95% of the time displays a lack of skills. Opening with a compliment is too easy and too unoriginal. It puts you in the category of every other guy who ever hit on her. You're better off opening with a neg hit which is also not recommended.
 

bigneil

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moneyisking said:
oh i see. so it is more important to initiate kino and such than the words?
I would rate openers (with most likely to succeed first) as:

(Assuming you get buying signs)

1) Open with "hi".
2) Open with neutral comment.
3) Open with comment based on environment.
4) Open with neg hit.
5) Open with compliment.
6) Open with kino.
7) Open with "want some c0ck?"
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Scars

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I know it goes against what most PUA's tell you, but yes, you can open with a compliment. I've done it several times with success. They generally work better on girls that are below you in looks though, or around the same as you, or a girl that already has shown strong IOI's in you (at this point, it doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you say something.) Follow up game is key. A strong confident man can give out compliments, he doesn't need to be a d!ckhead constantly. Just make sure you're complimenting her on something genuine.

-Scars
 

Bible_Belt

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I just club them over the head and drag them back to my cave.:eek:

But if you want to open with a compliment, make your words show that you notice something special about her. Don't tell a pretty girl that she is pretty. Instead, compliment her shoes, purse, makeup...something that is not t!ts and ass. She put a lot of effort into those accessory choices that no guy ever notices because they are all staring at her t!ts. Use the compliment to show that you are different.
 

Serialized3

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This one takes balls, so you can only do it when you have a perfect mindset and attitude - look her up and down and say "I like what I see". Golden.
 

loveshogun

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I open with a compliment if I feel like it. A conversation is a conversation. This is from the point of view of someone who never asks himself "how should I talk to her?" I just do, and see where it goes. Get your foot in the door. Smooth talking is a good skill to have, but really, it's not a game breaker.

Every woman I've f*cked, ever, has called me a smooth talker at some point. Trust me when I say that it wasn't my words that got me in - they helped, sure, but all you have to do in a conversation is not end up in the "no zone." This is otherwise known as the "I would never f*ck this guy" zone. You guys call it the friend zone a lot - I'm going to refrain from using that term from now on because it's ambiguous and new guys read it differently every time they see it.

If you DO want to be a smooth talker, talk a lot more with your friends to practice conversational mechanics. Start paying attention to how many times you say "uh," "um," "like," or any other words that don't mean anything and just take up space. Also, slow down your speech a little bit. I'm not talking boring slow - it's just that most people speak way ahead of their mind, and that results in a lot of poor word choices and constructions.

All smooth talking will do, though, is keep you from being so conversationally inept that you'd end up in the "I would never f*ck this guy" zone.

You still have to be an interesting human being. Being good in bed when she gives you a chance also helps.

One thing I noticed is that women I've banged seem to give lay reports of their own to their friends, who in turn become more curious about me. This has been accelerating over the last 3 years.

Life is good.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

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