"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Do you guys ever feel bad?

The_Crack

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This may seem like a gay question, and i may cop some **** for it! But i feel bad sometimes for some of the girls i am with.
For example, i sealed the deal with this chick the other week, and i've been chatting with her a bit. She's one of the girls who doesn't jump ship much and just settles for one guy.. as in if she is romantically involved with a guy she doesn't flirt with others.. even if we aren't officially together. Whereas ive hooked up with another girl since then. I know if she found out i have it would crush her and get her real upset!

This kinda makes me feel guilty that i'm still hooking up with other girls. This girl just isn't the one who makes me want to stop spinning plates. I've had the same issue with other girls as well and i always feel guilty. Eventually i just kind of fade away with the communication.. from once everyday to once every 2 days to once a week to once a fortnight to never. But i still feel bad for playing the girl, cause in the time she was infatuated with me she could've found a guy who would actually take care of her!

Am i the only one who feels this way? I'm kind of having a hard time properly explaining it but i hope you guys can make sense of it!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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BigSmooth

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I would feel bad.

If I have no intention of getting deeply romantic with a girl who is looking for something of the same, I would not go/stay with her.


I don't like it when we're not on the same vibe.
 

IamJosan

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I don't feel bad because I'm not doing anything bad, and neither are you. You're just having good times with these girls and you're not lying to them either.
 

The_Crack

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Yeah but it seems to be like the underlying assumption that this may lead to something more than.. when it really isn't.
I'm not one for confrontation so i never say that its never going to be anything more, and i just leave it as it is!
 

st_99

Master Don Juan
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The_Crack said:
She's one of the girls who doesn't jump ship much and just settles for one guy.. as in if she is romantically involved with a guy she doesn't flirt with others..
LOL, oh how naive we can be...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Jariel

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I used to, but what st_99 said is very true and a lesson I've come to learn the hard way.

You could say I have a way of making chicks go crazy for me in the initial stages of dating. They'll often get really soppy, clingy and even quite obsessive in some cases. I used to think this was so sweet and would feel really guilty for pursuing them just for sex. I'd also feel really guilty about seeing other women and keeping my options open, and sometimes I would cut off all other women and pursue this one exclusively. I'd try to be a bit more emotionally attentive, reassuring and treat them with more respect. Often enough I actually started to really like these girls and consider them as relationship material.

Then came the bombshell. Out of nowhere they'd drop me a text telling me they weren't ready for a relationship, that they still had feelings for an ex or they would just start ignoring me with no explanation. In some cases these girls would spin some lie about needing time to themselves or about some complication that meant she couldn't see me, yet would end up in a relationship with some other guy a few weeks later. Some of these girls I found out were already in relationships and I was the bit of fun on the side.

So it turned out that I was the one who was getting played. This happened to me a LOT before I started to smarten up. In fact, I even let my guard down again last year and got burned again.

Now I will pursue a woman for my needs. No matter if she tells me she's in love with me and I'm the only guy for her, I will continue spinning plates. If she claims she wants a relationship and I don't, I won't be deterred for pursuing her for sex.

I'm not a bitter guy and I'm not doing this to be mean, but in my experience, women will do exactly the same to you if the tables were turned.
 
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Serg897

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Jariel said:
I'm not a bitter guy and I'm not doing this to be mean, but in my experience, women will do exactly the same to you if the tables were turned.
The Truth
 

Jariel

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Oh another valuable lesson I should share...

I started seeing a girl who was literally my best friend. I wasn't all that attracted to her, but we had amazing chemistry and I cared a lot for her. We were together for 2 months and in that time I got to know the hottest girl I've ever met. What's more, this hot girl started hitting on me. She asked me out a few times and one time she even invited me to her place. I turned her down each time because I wanted to be faithful to my girlfriend (I assumed that's what she was).

Then one day my so-called girlfriend dumped me. She said she had been seeing her ex and wanted to work things out with him. She even had the cheek to say that me and her were only having fun anyway and it wasn't serious.

I was fvcking mad! I'd turned down this super hot and really nice girl to be faithful to this b1tch who had been seeing someone else behind my back.
 

Alex DeLarge

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I've been with a girl like that. She saw me out with a female friend one night in our neighborhood (I had kissed the female friend before and gone on dates with her). And she flipped. Called me a "sketchy player" and sh1t.. She had a lot of guy friends, but she wasn't the type of girl who got along well with other girls (she's really self conscious and gets jealous easily).

I commented saying "Well we're not even exclusive and she's my friend.. I've gone out with you 3 times and you're the only girl I'm dating. I don't see the big deal. You can go out with other guys if you want."

She called me "crazy" and I never heard from her again. Whatever.
 
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