"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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do you guys confront girls about bs?

vatoloco

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garruk said:
i really dont htink she's interested in her ex at all. he's an AFC for sure. sends her depressing text messages about how they're soulmates and on paper he's really got nothing on me (aside from past history).

while it's possible they hooked up in mexico, theres pretty much no way it's a common occurence.
The danger here is that if he's an ex and she's truly over him, she wouldn't keep contact with him, unless it was required (having a child together, etc.) Even if he's an AFC, he's providing attention (the preferred currency of females) and the girl seems to be receptive...


we've been together reptty consistently for about 2-3 months. as i said, we see eachother 2-3 times a week, so i really dont htink she has the time to see other people (unless she's secretly not going to work as she says she is).
2-3 months of seeing her 2-3 times a week, that'd be around 25 get-togethers and she hasn't hinted at exclusivity? I think she just wants to keep things casual...

If you're interested in a relationship with this girl, I'd start spinning other plates to instill some Competition Anxiety in her. Here are some good posts by Rollo on this:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/imagination/
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/plate-theory-ii-non-exclusivity/
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/youve-been-with-how-many-girls/

Just keep in mind that this girl MIGHT NOT want a relationship with you so she might not be what you're looking for and would need to be dropped in favor of a more relationship-compatible plate.

Also, something you mentioned earlier caught my eye. How and why did she try to keep the ex down in Mexico secret? How did you find out?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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garruk

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vatoloco said:
2-3 months of seeing her 2-3 times a week, that'd be around 25 get-togethers and she hasn't hinted at exclusivity? I think she just wants to keep things casual...

Just keep in mind that this girl MIGHT NOT want a relationship with you so she might not be what you're looking for and would need to be dropped in favor of a more relationship-compatible plate.

Also, something you mentioned earlier caught my eye. How and why did she try to keep the ex down in Mexico secret? How did you find out?
yeah ive had similar concerns about her intentions. im not exactly sure how to find out for certain though. it doesnt bother me a HUGE amount because im not too emotionally invested yet so however it ends up, its ok to me. though i do realize that given another 2 months or so i might be singing a very different tune.

it's kind of weird because when we're together, i admit we do act like a couple. our mutual freidns all pretty much assume we're together and im constantly telling my own friends that "no we arent". i have no idea what she tells her friends.

i rarely call/text except to set up a meet and she does the same.

as for mexico, i found out because a good friend of mine (by pure luck) happened to be there with his girlfriend. he only saw them in passing and wasnt even sure it was them so aside from telling me that they were there, he hasnt been able to tell me anything.
 

vatoloco

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Hmm, based on this new info, I'd say to keep the status quo but spin an additional plate or two, to play the Competition Anxiety angle (and it's good for you, anyway).

But still, my spider sense is tingling. Something doesn't seem quite right...
 
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