Do you get more benefits as sa boyfriend than as an interest?

[JCKey618]

I've been dating this girl for a little over a month now. We have made out a few times and things are going really good. Her interest in me has really seemed to pick up over the past few days (calling me almost every night and having my picture as the background of her cell phone).

Anyway, we aren't official. She's a really respectable girl. And I remember one of my friends a while ago was saying how she wouldn't do certain things unless she was in a committed relationship. In her words "it would otherwise be casual sex and I don't want casual sex."

Anyway, I'm not looking for sex, persay, but that's beside the point. Like, last night I went to my new girl's performance and her family was there. Her little sister is especially a noisy one (she's 12) and she asked me "do you and Morgan go together?" and I said "I already told you, no." And she was like "why not? you need to ask her. Why don't you ask her to be your girlfriend?" And I said something like "cus that's my business."

ANyway, I know the general consensus here is to never ask for a committment, but all of my best moments with any female haven't been until me and that female made it official.... And some females are brought up believeing that the guy is supposed to ask....

 

[christz]

are you asking a question or stateing an obersvation or giving us a general rant?

it seems like your saying out of all the times you've EVER spent with a girl THIS GIRL was the ONLY one you ever had a lot of good times with.

i doubt that..

needless to say your end statement sums it all up, why don't you just ask her out?

 

[IsiMan84]

I doubt that too, especially considering you were still going bananas over your last girl in that topic from like 2 days ago...

 

[JCKey618]

Oh, BIIIG mix-up. I meant all of my best moments in any given relationship weren't until we made it 'official.' Meaning, in any relationship I been in, the 'good times' didn't really start until we were committed. I should edit that.....

 

[IsiMan84]

Originally posted by JCKey618
And I remember one of my friends a while ago was saying how she wouldn't do certain things unless she was in a committed relationship. In her words "it would otherwise be casual sex and I don't want casual sex."

And this is where most girls try to trap you. All of them will say that 1) so they don't sound like they're easy and 2) so the guy will get into a relationship thinking the sex is a sure thing. But instead she will control him solely on his belief that he is going to get some from her.

 

[libre]

Hello JcKey

Things seem to be going well. Why do you want to change it? Like a doe she's coming to you while you are holding an apple for her. Don't ruin her pleasure. Let her dream and fantasize about you and come to you.

You are obsessing needlesslly on the «girlfriend - boyfriend» title. It doesn't have to be this way. Let her talk; if ever she asks you if you are her boyfriend, you can always answer with a yes if you feel like it.

Don't worry about the commitment stories. You must know that talk is cheap. Let your actions speak for themselves. That's what I would answer her if she comes up with the subject. Tell her to watch your moves and not your lips as «talk is cheap».

 

[libre]

By the way, are you keeping your condoms close at hand? That young woman will want to have sex with you sometime and not that far off in the future if my deductions are right.

 

[JCKey618]

Well, that girl that said that was my last girlfriend. We had been together for a year and broke up for a few weeks. We had done everything leading up to sex and it was her birthday and I was there and she said she had wanted to lose it on her birthday but then she gave me the thing about casual sex.

Eh, she was weird anyway.

 

[JCKey618]

Originally posted by libre
By the way, are you keeping your condoms close at hand? That young woman will want to have sex with you sometime and not that far off in the future if my deductions are right.

Got two in the drawer. But she's really believes in waiting.... I know she'd do oral but I don't know if she'd go any farther than that.

And I'm one of those guys who wouldn't take a girl's virginity unless she was sure. But, yeah, I have them handy

 

[strong like bull]

eh...

ive casually known a handful of girls who gave everyone the "im saving myself; i dont believe in sex before marriage/i want to fall in love first" speach. incidentally, most opened their legs for the first jerk who made their panties wet and wasnt afraid to make the right moves.

im sure some girls DO actually wait until marriage... but imo youre better off having sex with a girl before becoming "exclusive." otherwise you risk being caught in her pvssy trap; where she strings you along for the ride 'cause you think if you keep up long enough, she'll give you ass.

another question would be, do you care about a girl enough to wait with her, until marriage, before having sex? is that what you really want?

imo, the bottom line still is to make them so horny for sex, and comfortable enough to engage in it with you, that she wouldnt think about turning it down. from there, make her understand that sex is something shared - its not a bargaining chip. its not a trade off for affection, money, or anything else.

 

[JCKey618]

What are the right moves anyway? I don't know how far to go the first time we are alone (in a setting where I can go far). Since I just got out of a long relationship I'm used to going right for the goods when alone. But now I'm starting all over again and I don't want to come off as disrespectful.