Do you flake on girls you're seeing?

[FlexpertHamilton]

I sometimes find myself not in the mood to want to be around people, usually due to tiredness or headaches or irritation or something and just wanna go to the gym and relax after work.

Do you find it counter productive to flake on plates or any girl you've established something with? Not really talking about first dates nor am I talking about intentionally flaking for its own sake, but with girls you're already seeing and just want a night off from.

In my limited experience with doing this, it seems like they find flakes/reschedules off putting, especially if your reasoning is feeling "crummy" or something.

 

[SW15]

Over the years, I have only done this infrequently. I would be interested to see if other men have done it more than I have.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

No.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Over the years, I have only done this infrequently. I would be interested to see if other men have done it more than I have.

The last time I did this, the girl in question seemed to lose interest gradually after and we petered out, despite high interest from her early on. With that same girl, I had also refused to stay overnight at her place. The combination of those two things seemingly made her lose interest, though maybe it was something else entirely.

Anyway, I keep hearing the term "comfort game" and its an interesting concept. I think some guys are too aloof and the women interpret their aloofness as uninterested or unreliable or something.

 

[SW15]

The last time I did it the girl seemed to lose interest gradually after and we we petered out, despite high interest from her early on. With that same girl, I had also refused to stay overnight at her place. The combination of those two things seemingly made her lose interest, though maybe it was something else entirely.

Anyway, I keep hearing the term "comfort game" and its an interesting concept. I think some guys are too aloof and the women interpret their aloofness as uninterested or unreliable or something.

Aloof is good. I recommend it. Too aloof can be bad.

When I have flaked on a woman before sex, it's because I found out something about her somehow that was bad. A big time deal breaker.

I only once postponed a first date with a woman by 30 minutes due to something at work running late.

I can't count how many times I've been ghosted or flaked on when I wanted more.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Aloof is good. I recommend it. Too aloof can be bad.

When I have flaked on a woman before sex, it's because I found out something about her somehow that was bad. A big time deal breaker.

I only once postponed a first date with a woman by 30 minutes due to something at work running late.

I can't count how many times I've been ghosted or flaked on when I wanted more.

Patrice O'Neal said it well....the best relationship is one where the women is just a little bit insecure. You need the right mix of aloofness and comfort, or aggression and tenderness. Yin yang ****.

I always act extremely aloof and indifferent quite frankly because I am. Places like these forums insist that sheer indifference will make them chase you but in my experience that is quite simply not the case with some women. I think I already give off enough "apathetic vibes" as it is.

 

[Chuck Taylor]

Yes. You must flake on her once during the first few dates. Destroy that ego of hers.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Yes it can be counter productive. Some girls cant handle rejection.

 

[Striker_93]

Absolutely, all the time, sometimes a whole month can go by with me flaking/finding excuses to not hang out with them.

Nothing personal but I'm not a people person and I'm very aloof and introverted with a devil may care attitude. And to be fair, I flake on my homeboys as well lol shrugs.

It never seemed to hurt my game at all, they keep calling/texting and trying to reschedule with me before I get a chance to reschedule lol.

The girl I'm dating now just told me yesterday that she is getting frustrated with me and is going to kidnap me when she gets back in town lol.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yes. You must flake on her once during the first few dates. Destroy that ego of hers.

I often do on first dates but I'm talking more about girls you're already seeing (plates, GFs, etc).

 

[Chuck Taylor]

I often do on first dates but I'm talking more about girls you're already seeing (plates, GFs, etc).

Still flake on her occasionally. She ain't gonna leave. She'll start pursuing you even harder.

 

[Velasco]

Yes. Gotta mix it up. Can't always be available. Otherwise....B-O-R-I-N-G. Remember it's a game.

 

[jaymbrs]

Patrice O'Neal said it well....the best relationship is one where the women is just a little bit insecure. You need the right mix of aloofness and comfort, or aggression and tenderness. Yin yang ****.

I always act extremely aloof and indifferent quite frankly because I am. Places like these forums insist that sheer indifference will make them chase you but in my experience that is quite simply not the case with some women. I think I already give off enough "apathetic vibes" as it is.

That's because you can't fit all women into 1 category and use a "1 size fits all" approach. If you're dating a high caliber woman, flaking on her once or twice may work but if she's in high demand, she's not going to put up with it for very long. The opposite goes for low value women.

Yes it can be counter productive. Some girls cant handle rejection.

This. Women take rejection WAY worse than men.

 

[TheProspect]

This. Women take rejection WAY worse than men.

Especially once they begin investing in you after a few good dates and you've already bedded them...

I've had multiple instances of a woman, once I voiced my decision to stop seeing her, saying something along the lines to me of "I have never been rejected before..." with a utterly confused and shocked look on their face. Fvcks them up, especially the hotter ones.

Women are so used to being the choosers and the one's who flake on hordes of men vying for their attention, that when the script is flipped, it's traumatizing for many of them. Unfortunately, this makes them more flaky in the future and less likely to invest in the next guy, but that's the game.

 

[jaymbrs]

Especially once they begin investing in you after a few good dates and you've already bedded them...

I've had multiple instances of a woman, once I voiced my decision to stop seeing her, saying something along the lines to me of "I have never been rejected before..." with a utterly confused and shocked look on their face. Fvcks them up, especially the hotter ones.

Women are so used to being the choosers and the one's who flake on hordes of men vying for their attention, that when the script is flipped, it's traumatizing for many of them. Unfortunately, this makes them more flaky in the future and less likely to invest in the next guy, but that's the game.

Not trying to intentionally 1-up you, but it reminded me of my ex and how she would tear up sometimes when I would pass up on sex. I had to make up **** like I didn't feel well or was too drunk just to make her feel better.

 

[The Duke]

I'd say personalities that are naturally aloof don't need to flake. But flaking/ignoring etc helps keep them inline no matter how long you have known them. Use sparingly and to your advantage. Always good to keep their emotional hamster spinning a little.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Never. I don’t like hurting my credibility as a man.