Do you find chicks you are or have dated get upset over..

[Naughty Ninja]

Maybe it's me.

But have any of you noticed with chicks you've dated or are dating get upset if you are with them and not constantly sitting next to them at parties?

I had two previous exes on two occassions get upset (twice friends mentioned to me) that I wasn't paying enough attention to them at the parties I was at. (They were both at the times of the parties my girlfriend. One I dated a while ago. The other a few years later and never knew or met each other or were at the same party or occassion. Two seperate instances.)

One was a Christmas party with friends (whom she knew as well) and I was just being myself, acting a fool and having a good time. Not hitting on anyone, or ignoring the girl I was dating at the time . Just being social, including the ex in conversation, though I was up a lot and joking with different people. Later the next day my friend told me my ex (girlfriend at the time) was in another room crying that I wasn't paying more attention to her. (I guess sitting next to her the whole time??)

The other chick I dated a while ago invited me to her friends party whom I'd just met and though I was sitting next to her and her on my lap, talking with her and everyone knew she was my girfriend still got upset (as told to me by her friends that I wasn't sitting next to her at times.) She is a Latina. I was just meeting her friends and BSing with the dudes there. I thought people were supposed to meet people?

Now it may be me..who knows..but do you feel you have to be constantly staying right next to each other at parties? Especially if everyone knows the girls you are dating?

Maybe I'm a bit insensitive in that regard and I need to work on that a bit with the next chick I become exclusive with?

I guess I just feel if I'm at a party with family, extended family and friends we don't have to be right next to each other at all times to have 'fun'. Thoughts?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Don't take sand to the beach...

If you want to mingle go by yourself or with male friends. If you want to take your girl to a party (notice how I worded that plz) then you'll might as well glue her to your hip. Because she will expect you to be with her the whole time. Girls at parties turn into 2 year old's for some reason and need constant supervision. You might be able to get away with a little solo mingling it if you leave her entertained with someone and stay within eye shot, but even then you can't mingle for too long. And leaving her sitting by herself is the same as slapping her face. Girls are kinda hypersensitive to this stuff..

 

[Who Dares Win]

Damn right , totally agree.

I once did the same of what you did and she was so pissed off that started treated me very poorly, and complained about that even days after,and she was a girl I liked.

Im afraid the reason of that behaviour is totally unnatural, I think this same site sometime is no different than those girly magazines and suggest us to follow unnatural behaviour to prove/show something.

You see, an afc living outside this community would have been probably all the time paying attention to his girl while we're somehow lead to be social 24/7 and never give too much attention to a girl in order to avoid looking insecure or clingy.

I realize I do mistakes like that, dont get me wrong this site helped me to get chicks and ONS, I really did a great improvement but at the same time I somehow became an a$$hole, borderline narcisistic, arrogant and somehow a clone of Ash from army of darkness and the fact that 2 times out of 3 girls rewared me for that doesnt help, the problem is that is damn hard to get a pretty girlfriend like that...all the girls who are somenow not party girls and stupid cvnts dont consider me worth as boyfriend.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Don't take sand to the beach...

If you want to mingle go by yourself or with male friends. If you want to take your girl to a party (notice how I worded that plz) then you'll might as well glue her to your hip. Because she will expect you to be with her the whole time. Girls at parties turn into 2 year old's for some reason and need constant supervision. You might be able to get away with a little solo mingling it if you leave her entertained with someone and stay within eye shot, but even then you can't mingle for too long. And leaving her sitting by herself is the same as slapping her face. Girls are kinda hypersensitive to this stuff..

I guess so! lmao. Chick one and chick two knew everyone at both parties and they were pretty small groups at that. One was about ten people the other about twenty and the party with twenty were all her friends guys and girls whom I didn't know. While we both sat together and joked with people a lot she also talked with her friends and I got up and talked with the dudes there, helped out etc....yet I was still told they both got upset I wasn't staying with them.

I was thinking WTF both times with both different chicks? Do I need an ankle braclet to monitor me in plain site or a portable electric fence so if I walk two feet away from our chairs I'll be dropped like a wild labrador?

I'll need to work on that a bit as I guess from a chicks point of view they must have felt good showing up and being at the party with me and thought people might think I didn't care about them too much if I was up and mingling even if it was just meeting people or joking with friends at the other party.

 

[floydb25]

Damn right , totally agree.

I once did the same of what you did and she was so pissed off that started treated me very poorly, and complained about that even days after,and she was a girl I liked.

Im afraid the reason of that behaviour is totally unnatural, I think this same site sometime is no different than those girly magazines and suggest us to follow unnatural behaviour to prove/show something.

You see, an afc living outside this community would have been probably all the time paying attention to his girl while we're somehow lead to be social 24/7 and never give too much attention to a girl in order to avoid looking insecure or clingy.

I realize I do mistakes like that, dont get me wrong this site helped me to get chicks and ONS, I really did a great improvement but at the same time I somehow became an a$$hole, borderline narcisistic, arrogant and somehow a clone of Ash from army of darkness and the fact that 2 times out of 3 girls rewared me for that doesnt help, the problem is that is damn hard to get a pretty girlfriend like that...all the girls who are somenow not party girls and stupid cvnts dont consider me worth as boyfriend.

That's pretty much it. If you take things too far, you're only going to attract trash. It might be necessary to learn this through experience, though. Typically, a person will be AFC in the beginning; get burned, and go the opposite extreme; hate what he has become, and who he's attracting... Then finally finding the middle ground. It's all trial and error.

The hardest lesson is going from one extreme to the next. I think there's a lot of delusional beliefs, one-sided views, resentment, and bitterness that causes this. You get hurt, and boom - you become a complete jerkface or player. Men and women alike go through this. You think its what attracts people, but its only a small minority. And you hate so much that you don't care. It blinds you to reality.

I think a lot of it has to do with the kind of person you're chasing after, as well. Since this dumb **** or party ***** responds to this and that - we assume they all do. But when you become this person - that's all you attract. Once you attract them by being a ****bag, you find out they're nothing special, and you're just leading a shallow lifestyle filled with ****s and retards. But again, its almost necessary to find this out first-hand. You don't realize they're worthless until you actually catch them - which wasn't possible before. You need to not like them, or the lifestyle you're leading / the person you've become. It's all part of the dating game.

Maturity also plays a role. A lot of things change once you get a little older. You become wiser, look for different things, and are far more impatient / intolerable to bull****.

Everything should be taken in moderation. Fill the pieces you're missing, work to improve yourself, kill the garbage traits, and things will fall into place. You don't need a complete overhaul, or become something you're not. The best lesson is to not pedestalize women, or view them as special / unnattainable. By doing all these things to attract women - you're doing just that. A lot of Don Juan'ing is actually fulfilling the same things you're trying to avoid. You used to be nice and weak to attract women - now you're doing all these other things for the same reasons. Oh, the irony...

 

[SgtSplacker]

"and thought people might think I didn't care about them too much"

THIS ^

When you go to a party with your friends the worst thing you can do is just stand by them all night. The first thing I do is get lost and start chatting up new interesting poon. But with a girl it's all about allegiance and if you are spending too much time with other women/people you're aligning yourself with them more than your date, and it isn't necessarily a sexual thing either. Even though she might be entertained she still realizes a loss. It's not much of a tea party if everyone isn't sitting at the little table sipping tea together...

 

[BlueShift]

If you take things too far, you're only going to attract trash. It might be necessary to learn this through experience, though. Typically, a person will be AFC in the beginning; get burned, and go the opposite extreme; hate what he has become, and who he's attracting... Then finally finding the middle ground. It's all trial and error.

Experience really has taught me this. The complete a$$hole that I've become feels exactly the same way as my former AFC. Being an a$$hole deprives me from giving a fvck about anything. Generally, being closed off from the world. The two opposite sides of the spectrum attracted different types of girls, neither were desirable. Finding the balance is something I have been improving for a few months shortly after realizing I have been acting like a complete a$$hole for so long. I don't see any positives in women as an a$$hole, I only focus on the negatives.

This lead me to have detrimental views of women which served no purpose to me. Realistically speaking, many of these negatives were manufactured through reading everyone's problems and believing this could happen to me or all women are the same. Yeah, this shvt could happen to you. But it hasn't happened to me before. Should I be looking into how to prevent these things from happening? No, obviously I'm doing something right because these things aren't happening to me. If they do, then I need a solution.

I realize now finding the balance in yourself is the easiest way to bring out the best in relationships.

Finding the best of the two worlds must be found through experience. No post can give you this experience. However, I haven't seen this written on the forums for a long time despite holding great importance. Finding the middle has always lead to the greener side of my relationships. This is why I'm placing it as my signature.