Do you feel like it is a Rejection when a woman doesn't answer your message?

[Poonani Maker]

I'm speaking to POF and the like sites. I hardly ever message one unless she meets All of my criteria - I know Exactly what I want long-term. Even in my initial message, I'll spell out what I like about them based on their profile, and then (oh, God forbid) 1 or 2 things that I Do Not like about them, Even If it's something she can't change such as her height. About 70% will get offended and insult me, so is woman, can't take criticism but can Sure as Hell dish it out.

They're not Used to being judged so harshly because guys Are too hard up, too scared, no balls, to tell it like it is, how they want their ideal woman to be (not fat) speaking to a non-ideal woman who's interested.

I get numerous "___ wants to meet you" or so-in-so just viewed your profile, or (this woman) just messaged you. I won't even Read her message if she's fat (the majority who message out of the blue are, just TOTALLY out of my league, but sprinkled in are some decent hot thin ones or ones I'd consider in my daily life). I don't get how the few years older or the ultra fat or the "Average" butt-faces perceive that they can somehow have me. It's a total joke. I guess it's pouring salt in their wounds by viewing their profile and then not even Reading their stupid-as5 message just the way so many 9s and 8s do me (but I would never know if these ones don't read my messages cause I never care to look to see if they have, I just move on and forget them unless they message back way later). But I Still Know that they never returned my initiation message to them.

I'm sometimes reluctant to message one that I'd Fvck, but not one that falls into my ideal woman musts over the long haul, because, if she doesn't reply then I've wasted my effort on one that I didn't even really want long-term.

If I get rejected by one I really want via no response, then I feel NO hurt because she would have been what I'd wanted long-term and it sucks to be her that she rejected someone who Really Wanted or Desired her, to be with her. THAT is the ultimate Loss for a woman who Rejects a guy who Really Wants her, cause during sex, that's the biggest turn-on to Feel the Want from her lover. I've fvcked Many girls who I did not want while fvcking her, and I know they could sense it, and I know it probably hurt them even then and there, being fvcked but from a standpoint of not-much-desire, or not an overwhelming dog-in-heat moment for his girl, just a fvck, nothing more, nothing special in the attraction realm.

 

[izza]

My women friends don't respond for a wide variety of reasons. They receive a crapload of messages on that site, so they don't even read them all. Then if they get busy or in a relationship they're not going to respond.

There are so many reasons why they might not respond. You'd have to be pretty ego-centric to necessarily take it personally. Of course there's a chance it has the slightest thing to do with you (and even then it might be that your pictures, text etc. represent YOU badly). But then again, how would you know?

I think that's important question: "how would I know?" If I were to outline the first mistake I see many people on this site doing it's jumping to conclusions about what motivates people - aka she's really into me, or she's really not into me. The world doesn't revolve around us.

Despite you saying you feel no hurt, you sound hurt. That's just how you strike me - you'd know how you feel better than I do. Listen, online dating is a painful, frustrating thing. There are lots of people on there who seem great and most of the time it goes nowhere. It's a lot easier to just acknowledge that this is just a painful thing by nature that is nonetheless worth it for the fruit it bears. I suggest against wasting energy by trying to pretend you feel anything but pain.

Izza

 

[Poonani Maker]

^^ Well, writing an initiating (first step to getting things rolling) message is YOUR main demonstration of interest (not a wink, not a favorite, nothing stealth, not a sent gift - never done that, not a view) to her. You're, in a sense, eating the humble pie or lowering yourself by initiating the dialogue (just as they are humbling themselves to initiate with me through message - the MAIN motion of interest used to let someone know for sure you're interested in them - not just a flyby nat wink, favorite, view). When you "give over" yourself to a woman of interest online, you may not think of it as that big a deal cause she's so far away or not there in person to reject, but I still command respect on a dating site. I Still find it a Chore to message one (not a generic copy and paste, but tailored), unless she's one that I am Really interested in long term by view of her stats, biography, description, etc.

Since I've uploaded new pics, and changed my biography/description to talking about money management, how I spend in moderation, that if she's a gold-digger, move on, I've gotten tons of interest (albeit from a lot of average or fatty or older types, moms etc) from at least a few hot ones. Before then, I was getting hits/messages maybe once or twice a week. Now it's 15 to 20 per week, and all I have to do is log on.

 

[izza]

I'm sad to hear you think of expressing interest as humbling yourself or lowering yourself! I think that's a strange way of looking at attraction. It's not like I consciously choose to be attracted to someone, it just happens. I view expressing my attraction like any other form of expression, art, music. It is the highest part of being human. I am taking something of my inner world and putting it out. It takes courage because people can judge my inner world negatively.

Expressing attraction to a woman certainly takes courage. Especially, if instead of cloaking your intentions behind hints, jokes, ****y behavior, you just let yourself be vulnerable. The women I know intuitively respect this courage. The women I know are sick of bull**** and are attracted to truth. That is our number one asset as men is that it's much easier culturally for men to tell the truth. Women can outplay our games and hints and see through bull**** better than we do. Women I know are sick of all these games.

It sounds to me like you're afraid of exposing your heart. I'm open to being wrong since all I've done is read about you on a forum. Still, that says to me that you are not ready for a genuine relationship.

 

[Barracuda]

If she's too lazy to reply, why would I want her anyway ?

One less complicated pain in the ass, and I get to move on to someone who deserves my attention.

 

[jglide123]

Women get bombarded with messages on dating sites. It isn't surprising for a really attractive woman to get more than 100 messages in a week.

Internet dating is probably more challenging, in a way, than doing cold approaches. You have the advantage of filtering people out based on what you want in a relationship, but your profile has to REALLY stand out. Try googling internet dating tips....

 

[Silvertip]

To the OP: It's a rejection. The better question is "So what?" It's not even like you met her to begin with.

 

[Robert28]

I cry myself to sleep when a woman won't answer me back on pof. I sit around all night in my robe, watching tv and eating potato chips while watching The Notebook and fantasize about finding love such as that.

you believe me don't you?

 

[jcdenton]

Women get bombarded with messages on dating sites. It isn't surprising for a really attractive woman to get more than 100 messages in a week.

Internet dating is probably more challenging, in a way, than doing cold approaches. You have the advantage of filtering people out based on what you want in a relationship, but your profile has to REALLY stand out. Try googling internet dating tips....

Yes. And I try to say something different from the other 100 messages the girl is getting, and will always keep it very short and succinct. I agree philosphically with the principle behind calling out something negative when you message a girl (and if you get them to bite, then right off the bat this is a step towards establishing that you're not like the other 100 guys who messaged her) but I try to be very careful. I won't hesitate to call out something I don't like, but I always do it in a joking way.

 

[don't]

wtf makes YOU so "special", dude?