i recently got fvcked over hard by this girl i really fell for. she ended up getting back with her ex and i'm not gonna lie it crushed me. i suppose you can say i'm more of a relationship type guy as opposed to someone that just wants to hook up. the amount of pain i went through in this whole situation really makes me wonder if i'll ever be able to fall for another girl again. my guard is way the hell up from now on. do any of you guys ever feel like just giving up on women/dating as a whole?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
do you ever feel like just giving up?
- Thread starter duke104
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
SgtSplacker
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Buddy give it a little time and the next nice rack will have you falling in love again...
Duke... How old are you? And how long were you with this chick?
I just went through something similar. I am a lot like you. I prefer to be in a relationship with someone I care about, rather than going out every night looking for a ONS. I had a g/f of 6 years break up with me, and it didn't hurt NEARLY as bad as the breakup I have been dealing with the last 2 months with a girl I only dated for 4 months. That feeling of never being able to fall for another girl, I totally understand it.
What YOU need to understand, is that thinking is completely wrong and complete crap. I don't mean that is a way just to make you feel better. I mean that in a way that no girl is perfect enough (or perfect in general) to truly be the only one you can fall for. I know, I know.. "She was different". They all are. Sooner or later you will find a girl that will also be different, and you WILL get over this girl.
Giving up will only make you miss this girl even more, build her up to some super human perfect woman, and you will forever be miserable. What you need is to do the opposite. Get right back in it. If you feel ready or not. Force yourself to meet people. Keep your mind occupied on different things, different girls. Trust me, IT WORKS!
I couldn't get this girl out of my head. I thought I lost the exact girl I was looking for. My mind dwelled on it all day every day. I did everything I could to not think about her. But of course, everything reminded me of her and it ate me up. Then a new prospect came into the picture. Then another one. Then I took a step back, thought about it, and realized that I had spent more time thinking about my prospects, and getting more prospects than I had been thinking about my ex. I'll fully admit that I am nowhere near over this girl, and I do still think about her a lot. But I also know that it's just a matter of time until someone replaces her in my mind.
It sucks, but everyone goes through it and everyone needs to deal with it. You will too. Don't give up.
I just went through something similar. I am a lot like you. I prefer to be in a relationship with someone I care about, rather than going out every night looking for a ONS. I had a g/f of 6 years break up with me, and it didn't hurt NEARLY as bad as the breakup I have been dealing with the last 2 months with a girl I only dated for 4 months. That feeling of never being able to fall for another girl, I totally understand it.
What YOU need to understand, is that thinking is completely wrong and complete crap. I don't mean that is a way just to make you feel better. I mean that in a way that no girl is perfect enough (or perfect in general) to truly be the only one you can fall for. I know, I know.. "She was different". They all are. Sooner or later you will find a girl that will also be different, and you WILL get over this girl.
Giving up will only make you miss this girl even more, build her up to some super human perfect woman, and you will forever be miserable. What you need is to do the opposite. Get right back in it. If you feel ready or not. Force yourself to meet people. Keep your mind occupied on different things, different girls. Trust me, IT WORKS!
I couldn't get this girl out of my head. I thought I lost the exact girl I was looking for. My mind dwelled on it all day every day. I did everything I could to not think about her. But of course, everything reminded me of her and it ate me up. Then a new prospect came into the picture. Then another one. Then I took a step back, thought about it, and realized that I had spent more time thinking about my prospects, and getting more prospects than I had been thinking about my ex. I'll fully admit that I am nowhere near over this girl, and I do still think about her a lot. But I also know that it's just a matter of time until someone replaces her in my mind.
It sucks, but everyone goes through it and everyone needs to deal with it. You will too. Don't give up.
we were together around 4-5 months, but then were on and off for almost a year after that. i'm 22 years old. this is the first relationship i've been in as an "adult" i guess you can say. yeah i dated chicks in high school but this was the first girl that i could see myself with in the long term so it's tough to pretty much start from scratch. i've started hitting the gym every day and doing anything and everything to get my mind off her. i know i'll get over her eventually but damn i'm going through hell right now
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you mean. You are young as hell, though. Hate to break it to you, but this probably isn't the last time it's gonna happen, either. Just keep working on yourself. You will find someone else. I know that's not what you want right now. But it will be. Hang in there, man.duke104 said:
we have all been there breh but guess what? we picked oursselves up and moved on and kept moving. dont get depressed just because of one girl. look at it as more of an experiment. Now you're wiser about the ways of women than you were a few weeks back. Another girl would come along and you will probably get your heart broken a few more times before you find the right girl.
Whatever the case always remember, women are not the priority
Whatever the case always remember, women are not the priority
SoSuave666
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I was wrong one time. I thought I made a mistake, but really I didn't.
Take it from me my young man, there are other chicks out there for you. The thought of "the one that got away" is just as fvcking stupid as the thought of there being "true love" or a girl being "the one." It's all a ploy by society to get men so focused on ONE woman. Women/White Knights come up with these societal norms to try and control others. As Trent would say, you're so fvcking money and you don't even know it.
I gave up on birds for a while after a bitty broke up with me. Why? Devastation, heartbreak, abandonment...you name it, I felt it. I never woke up and have an "epiphany" like others talk about here. I didn't do anything drastic to move on. I just let time run its course. After a while I stopped being mad at her. After a little while longer I stopped thinking about her. I stopped looking for a way to get her back, I stopped seeking a way to get my revenge, and I most importantly stopped caring about her.
You'll learn that every person that comes into your life is a valuable experience, if you let them. This is YOUR life, not hers. She has made a conscious choice to keep you out of her life. Now make the choice to leave her out of yours. Treat her as a learning experience more than a failure due to the outcome of your relationship.
It's in your nature to be polygamous. I give you the green light to go out and pick up loads of hot women. Not only pick them up, but bed them. Once you bed them you can do whatever you want. Some men want 'ships, some want casual secks, others want ONS. If she is willing to sleep with you, she is most likely willing to be any of the above. It's your choice what she becomes, not hers. This is why I always think of women as accessories to my life. If I lose my favorite mug I may get pissed for a while, but after some deliberation on how or why I lost it, whether it was stolen, being used by some other man, I just say fvck it and go pick up a new one. I'll keep gettin mugs until I find a new one I like more than the old one.
After all the money/time spent on mugs, you'll realize they actually ain't really worth it. I could have drank that beer straight from the bottle.
Take it from me my young man, there are other chicks out there for you. The thought of "the one that got away" is just as fvcking stupid as the thought of there being "true love" or a girl being "the one." It's all a ploy by society to get men so focused on ONE woman. Women/White Knights come up with these societal norms to try and control others. As Trent would say, you're so fvcking money and you don't even know it.
I gave up on birds for a while after a bitty broke up with me. Why? Devastation, heartbreak, abandonment...you name it, I felt it. I never woke up and have an "epiphany" like others talk about here. I didn't do anything drastic to move on. I just let time run its course. After a while I stopped being mad at her. After a little while longer I stopped thinking about her. I stopped looking for a way to get her back, I stopped seeking a way to get my revenge, and I most importantly stopped caring about her.
You'll learn that every person that comes into your life is a valuable experience, if you let them. This is YOUR life, not hers. She has made a conscious choice to keep you out of her life. Now make the choice to leave her out of yours. Treat her as a learning experience more than a failure due to the outcome of your relationship.
It's in your nature to be polygamous. I give you the green light to go out and pick up loads of hot women. Not only pick them up, but bed them. Once you bed them you can do whatever you want. Some men want 'ships, some want casual secks, others want ONS. If she is willing to sleep with you, she is most likely willing to be any of the above. It's your choice what she becomes, not hers. This is why I always think of women as accessories to my life. If I lose my favorite mug I may get pissed for a while, but after some deliberation on how or why I lost it, whether it was stolen, being used by some other man, I just say fvck it and go pick up a new one. I'll keep gettin mugs until I find a new one I like more than the old one.
After all the money/time spent on mugs, you'll realize they actually ain't really worth it. I could have drank that beer straight from the bottle.
Good post until you got to the last paragraph. Drinking a Belgian beer from the bottle is not nearly as satisfying as using the proper glassware. Terrible analogy.SoSuave666 said:
Ok, back on track here. Duke: that sucks. Bad. There's no point in denying it. But when you're down, take some time for self-reflection. What is going right in your life? What do you not like about it but are actively working to change, and how much progress have you made?
I went through the same thing recently and I thought I'd be down and out for a long time. But I know that except for that, my life is on the right track and that made the rejection a lot easier to take.
And yes, do what PDubb said: get right back in it. Go bar hopping by yourself. Force yourself to talk to random people, especially attractive women. Your confidence is probably in the gutter right now, so if you can do that now, it'll be a lot easier when you're ready to take another chance.
well i first found out about her ex back in february. at that point i was probably at an all time low in my life. i was in the worst shape of my life physically and mentally. i guess that's what really opened my eyes and realize that i had to change some things about myself. i knew i had to stop torturing myself about this girl and get some time away from her. i cleaned up my diet and started hitting the gym everyday. so far i'm down 35 pounds and still losing so that's really been great for me. i'm lucky to have good friends that are willing to listen and talk to me as well, so yeah maybe in a way this was a blessing in disguise otherwise who knows where i'd be now
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Duke, man, the girl's gone, she isn't coming back time, to swallow the sea water and move on.
Now you have two choices:
1. You become a girie, sloth, emotional fvck-tard, depressant, clinging pointlessly to the memory of a few months of blissful fvcks with a woman that had no long term relationship prospects. You get consumed by the oneitis fallout, professing to never being able to find a pvssy to match hers ever again. You turn into some low ranking male outcast that people whisper about in a derogatory "that's him, you know.... the weird one...." way.
2. You take all the negative hurt and focus it on self improvement. You don't see the situation as the end of your relationship, but the fresh start to a great opportunity. You go to the gym, you do as much social sh1t as possible meeting new people and forming new network opportunities, become a social junkie and in the process you practice approaching women and chatting to them. You look for the new women (yep plural) in your life, you pull some and bang them and realise, "Wow, this new girl Daisy (or whatever the fvck her name might be), is much more adventurous, rampant hottie and a much better laugh than the ex". In several months you'll be thinking it was the best thing that ever happened to you.
Man up, stop fvcking snivelling and move on. Best of luck, fella.
Now you have two choices:
1. You become a girie, sloth, emotional fvck-tard, depressant, clinging pointlessly to the memory of a few months of blissful fvcks with a woman that had no long term relationship prospects. You get consumed by the oneitis fallout, professing to never being able to find a pvssy to match hers ever again. You turn into some low ranking male outcast that people whisper about in a derogatory "that's him, you know.... the weird one...." way.
2. You take all the negative hurt and focus it on self improvement. You don't see the situation as the end of your relationship, but the fresh start to a great opportunity. You go to the gym, you do as much social sh1t as possible meeting new people and forming new network opportunities, become a social junkie and in the process you practice approaching women and chatting to them. You look for the new women (yep plural) in your life, you pull some and bang them and realise, "Wow, this new girl Daisy (or whatever the fvck her name might be), is much more adventurous, rampant hottie and a much better laugh than the ex". In several months you'll be thinking it was the best thing that ever happened to you.
Man up, stop fvcking snivelling and move on. Best of luck, fella.
Desdinova
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I used to feel like that, but I learned the hard way to NEVER dwell on a woman who doesn't love me enough to stay with me. If she doesn't love me, she's not the right woman.duke104 said:
There's a few things I've found to help get over a woman. One of them is to think about all the 5hit I hated about her. If she had an extremely bushy pu55y, stinky breath, farted lots, or took 3 hours to put on makeup, think about all of that. There's women out there who shave their box, clean their pu55y, never fart around you, keep their breath fresh, and take 15 minutes to put on makeup.
There are ALWAYS better options out there. They may get more difficult to find after every relationship, but you really appreciate them when they come along.
SoSuave666
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I ONLY drink natty light bottles. Got to keep it classy.Silvertip said:
Same exact thing happened to me, she went back to her ex after 5-6 months, except I never referred to it as getting "fvcked over hard". Girls can't hurt us, we can only hurt ourselves by having the wrong expectations. Why men expect women to stay with them forever once the man likes them is puzzling. Men genuinely feel that the world owes them a woman, and that their woman owes them sex and love, and when they don't get it they are "crushed" and "can't go on".duke104 said:
Guys, "the amount of pain you go through" is not because of her, it's because of your being weak. Take it like a man.
Life must feature the bad so that the good is relatively better. The riverbed occasionally runs dry and the earth beneath it cracks. The weaker creatures expire but then the floods come. The water is more clear then because the dust has been blown away. Experience the whole cycle of things: periods of lonesome improvement and periods of hedonistic sloth. When you experience loss, let it burn you to the point where it ignites a fire in your soul. The fire is your source of energy for self introspection and improvement.
This was God's way of making the OP (and myself included) to lose 35+ lb (I went from 240 to 205 myself). She was the carrot. We might have been happier with them, but we were chubby and couldn't get as many other women as we can now. Someday they'll hopefully see the improved us and we'll have more control.
DonGorgon
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ups and downs and more downs is a normal part of life.... every feels like giving up at times but most keep going..
My 8 month relationship just ended cause she is moving out of my state and i am taking a break from relationships to work on me so i feel better about me..
My 8 month relationship just ended cause she is moving out of my state and i am taking a break from relationships to work on me so i feel better about me..
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
nismo-4
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Sh*t happens. Princesses have no problem going to another castle. I don't have any sympathy for you because you put her up on that pedestal. High enough that when she dropped the bomb on you, it detonated in your hands before you could get rid of it.duke104 said:
My guard is way the hell up, but I still get my ass out there and fight. I'm no muscular millionaire in a Maserati, but I'm damn sure working on it.
Men do get hurt more in the game of love, and yeah, I know. Women control the game.
What to do? Stop getting attached. Stop catching feelings. STOP WORSHIPPING THE VAGINA!!!
Either lay your ass on the sidelines and watch the game, or get your ass out there and fight. Those are your options. That's my ruling.
Case closed. Get out of my court.
JohnChops
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haha i like that analogy jrocJ Roc said:
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I've gone out with a couple of "buses" in the past. Big, lumbering buses. Nowadays I only ride taxis.
But I digress. The point is that we need to maintain that abundance mentality to survive in the game.
But I digress. The point is that we need to maintain that abundance mentality to survive in the game.