"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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do you delete texts so other girls dont see?

HappyHarryHardon

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just wondering.. i was thinking cause i am with someone at the moment. imagine if she saw all the other text messages from the other girls i been seeing, i know its rare but some girls are nosey. would you keep it or delete? it WOULD benefit me wouldnt it? make them jealous.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TheMale

Senior Don Juan
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the thing is that you're hiding nothing from your life ... you are true !
so if she's with you then she knows who you are or what you've done ...
if she's not cool with that she don't have a place in your life !
 

dementia

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one nice girl i was dating i did hide them or delete one from a girl she knew. Otherwise no, if they see it it opens up alot of funny stuff to say "shes a girl i met while stuck in an elevator, she was someone i did a nude scene in a small flim piece with, thats a girl who hits on me at the hairdresser but has creepy eye contact..." its opens a bunch of tension loops if not just being funny.
 

Szyzzlin

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Girls are very competitive. If she sees that you're in high demand... she'll want you more. keep the texts there :)
 

IamJosan

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Don't let her snoop through your phone! How can you be with a girl that you can't trust and is snoopin' around your stuff? Where are your standards man?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SandHawk

Master Don Juan
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First of all: Why are you so worried about a girl seeing those texts? All the girls I am seeing know that I am seeing other girls and that I have mostly female friends. I am not hiding my texts from them because I don't like it when a girl is hiding things from me.

BUT, I am also not letting her near my phone or my laptop. It's that simple; I have an Android smartphone with a pattern lock on it. Not because of her, but because I don't think people should use or go through my phone. The moment you're afraid that a girl sees your texts and flips out, you've already pedastalized her and you're afraid of losing her. Just don't let her near your private communication channels and don't be so afraid.

Also, when I'm with a girl and I get a text, and they spring up "Hey, a text, shouldn't you read it?", I just respond that I have more important things to do right now. This will also give them a bit more value and gives them a sense that their presence is important to you. It's a simple gesture, and in all honesty, it doesn't break the flow of escalation.
 

irocknike23

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yes and i got such a bad habbit now it got to a point where i delete txts that i need saved because i select DELETE ALL now without even thinking about it
 

Masculinity

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Put a passcode on your phone, so that you know you ahve a new text message without having to worry about her being nosey. It is as simple as that!
 

runner83

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You shouldn't be worried about girls seeing them, since she shouldn't be getting anywhere near your phone.

Personally though, I tend to periodically (say every 2 weeks) delete all messages on my phone to keep it clean, and remind myself that they are only words on a screen and mean nothing in real life, and to encourage myself to keep looking forward rather than backwards.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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powpow

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If you are not decidedly exclusive, what do you have to hide? Dont be like showing her all of your texts like "check this girl out, she also wants to have my babies", but seriously, be a man about it and dont delete your texts. Thats lame.

It is more of manifestation of an attitude than a cost vs benefit thing to me.
 

Laracuente

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I delete just to clear up some space but i always have a passcode at least and I've never had a girl even try to look through my phone
 

sirBill

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Respect is really important to me here, and it's a two-way street.

I believe in implied trust a lot. If I'm hanging out with a girl and she's on Facebook and some guy messages her, I'm not creeping over her shoulder trying to read the convo, or asking her about him. I don't care who she talks to because I'm secure where I'm at.

The same goes with girls. If I get a text, first of all I won't read it in front of her, I don't respond to that stuff when I'm with girls, if I expect her to keep her phone put away than I reciprocate the favor.

If the girl is all up in your business than she really isn't relationship material anyway. The best girls I've been with are the ones where you don't even need to hide your phone around them, you can confidently leave it out in the open unlocked and not worry about her going through the past 6 months of text messages.

For the record everyone should have a lock-code on their phone of some nature. I have access to all my bank accounts, my trading account, all my personal communication, my e-mail, and a ton of other stuff right on the phone. You bet my phone locks after a few minutes of idling, I don't want a thief taking over my life.
 
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