Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Do You Consider OneItis an ADDICTION?

RAPH_METAMORPHOSIS

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I am suffering from oneitis from this girl from the past, and I hate it.
I want to get over her and stop thinking and fantasizing about her.
I feel that my obsessive thinking about her is preventing me from being interested in other girls right now.
I feel that oneitis is the same is an addiction, because with addiction, there is always a mix of positive and negative benefit.

for example, with addiction to smoking, you get that temporary state of feeling good but it effects your health. yet you still feel the urge to keep smoking.

with addiction to drinking, you obviously feel the need to keep drinking
with addiction to porn, you keep wanting to look at sex
with addiction to internet, you keep wanting to be surfing the need.
with addiction to nail biting, you keep feeling to bite your nails

so, the fact that we keep thinking a girl, is it justified to call Oneitis an addiction? Oneitis is an addiction to the particular girl

Anywayz, I've heard of hypnosis being able to stop addiction
I think that addiction and oneitis are on the same boat.
I am considering doing hypnosis to get rid of it.

I was wondering if anybody can share their thoughts on it.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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muscleman

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Addiction, disease, call it whatever you want. But it's bad. You don't want bad. I doubt hypnosis will do anything for you, but sure give it a try. You just gotta force yourself to find another girl or two who'll take your mind off her. Hell, you can even talk to this other girl about the problems you're having with the current one. You'll be surprised how it can turn them on lol.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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I think it's necessary to differentiate between a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and a lopsided ONEitis based relationship. In my estimation ONEitis is an unhealthy psychological dependency that is the direct result of the continuous socialization of the soulmate myth in pop culture. This western romanticized mythology is based on the premise that there is only ONE perfect mate for any single individual and as much as a lifetime can and should be spent in constant search of this 'soulmate.' So strong and so pervasive is this myth in our collective society that it has become akin to a religious statement and in fact has been integrated into many religious doctrines as feminization of western culture has spread.

ONEitis is a mental disorder and the bio-chemical element that's associated with the emotional response can most definitely become what could be called an addiction.
 

mrRuckus

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Rollo Tomassi said:
I think it's necessary to differentiate between a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and a lopsided ONEitis based relationship. In my estimation ONEitis is an unhealthy psychological dependency that is the direct result of the continuous socialization of the soulmate myth in pop culture. This western romanticized mythology is based on the premise that there is only ONE perfect mate for any single individual and as much as a lifetime can and should be spent in constant search of this 'soulmate.' So strong and so pervasive is this myth in our collective society that it has become akin to a religious statement and in fact has been integrated into many religious doctrines as feminization of western culture has spread.
Yeah, man... totally. Dude.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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GamePlan

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Do You Consider OneItis an ADDICTION?
Let me tell you something. The other day, I told a female friend of mine something, that I truly meant: I had been smoking from 11 to 17..and then quit. I had a oneitis at around age 20/21 and I cut all contact to her.

Both things were exactly the same. The one addiction is nicotine, the other addiction is infatuation. It's not "love" or anything, it's "infatuation". It's nothing but an addiction to me.

Nowadays, when I see somebody smoke a cigarette I'm wondering: "why the hell did I do this?". When I see my former oneitis I'm wondering "why the **** would I fall for that girl?".

I really think (at least in my case) it's the exact same thing.
 

DarthJuan

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I think back to when I had it really bad for my one-itis...it was almost like I was high on dope or something. My mind was literally swimming around in a amped, high-strung state of anxiety and emotion. It was kinda like being on a week-long meth binge. I think back, and it's pathetic how obsessive and creepy I would get at times. She was like crack to me.

On three different occassions, chicks had approached me and be picking me up at the bar, and I was so wrapped up in my one-itis I would sabotage the lays. My friends would just look at me dumbfounded. I would rather be at home alone checking to see if she added any guy friends to her MySpace page - to see if I could find out who she might be currently dating.
MAN, WAS I ****ING STUPID. ALL OF THOSE CHICKS I BLEW OFF WERE HOTTER THAN SHE WAS BUT I COULDN"T SEE IT BECAUSE MY HEAD WAS SO AWASH IN SEWAGE.

She's nexted now. The longer I had no contact with her, the healthier I got.
When you next a chick, you detox yourself from her.
You'll get withdrawals and wanna crawl back like a little AFC at times.
But you gotta just drop anything to do with her and move on.

Man, was I DUMB! DUMB! DUMB!

Don't waste another minute of your life on her - live, lay and be happy.
 

#1 Contender

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oneitis is terrible. You think about her. **** off to her. fantasize about her.
think about past events and rerescript them. think about how it could have been.

it is definitely an addiction.
 

Rhoto

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"Oneitis" is simply an indicator of a lack of actual game with women and the resulting fear of loneliness, which can't really exist in a modern society.

Calling an addiction is an insult to actual addiction.
 

Downman1

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oneitus is a problem no matter how bad. i got a little of this at school and i missed a out on a lot of other chicks who would of loved to suck on my ****
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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slaog

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Rhoto said:
"Oneitis" is simply an indicator of a lack of actual game with women and the resulting fear of loneliness, which can't really exist in a modern society.

Calling an addiction is an insult to actual addiction.
It still makes you feel terrible.
 

Thatfeel21

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honestly, i think oneitis is mostly a by-product of ego..this chick i got oneitis with right now is a nerdy weird girl but who is cute and could easily pass as an HB8...she seems real easy cuz she's quiet but she's not...humans want what they cant have, but at the same time all of her past boyfriends aren't attractive or cool, just nerdy...what...the...eff
 
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