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Do you also feel the need to hunt for women OUTSIDE your social circle?

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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Something I never liked was dealing with women within my social circle, workplace or gym...not only I felt uncomfortable to flirt with them but even keeping basic communication, I kept it very polite but cold.

When I need to get intimate with a woman I feel comfortable doing it only outside with daily life, night clubs, bars, dating apps and so on.

I would rather bang an average girl met at a bar that same night than the friend of a friend who happen to be a 8.

Anyone can relate?

Keep in mind that it doesnt come from conscious decisions but purely from my inner self.

I kid you not I avoided getting close to girls in the gym even when it was them to approach me to talk about anything beside the time they need to leave the machine., I treat them by default as if they were men.

Lost the count of girls that have been introduced to me during parties or events from common friends that I deal with as if they were dudes.

Each and any fvck buddy I ever had has been found in those clear settings where no one close to me has access.
 

manfrombelow

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For me personally, dating & banging women in my social circle is not a good idea, because it leaves a certain kind of "mark" around said inner circle. Women like to gossip about their dating lives, and that's the problem.

Hunting for women outside my social circle, on the other hand, is much more comfortable, not only for me, but also for her.

So yeah, OP, you are not alone in this.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Something I never liked was dealing with women within my social circle, workplace or gym...not only I felt uncomfortable to flirt with them but even keeping basic communication, I kept it very polite but cold.

When I need to get intimate with a woman I feel comfortable doing it only outside with daily life, night clubs, bars, dating apps and so on.

I would rather bang an average girl met at a bar that same night than the friend of a friend who happen to be a 8.

Anyone can relate?

Keep in mind that it doesnt come from conscious decisions but purely from my inner self.

I kid you not I avoided getting close to girls in the gym even when it was them to approach me to talk about anything beside the time they need to leave the machine., I treat them by default as if they were men.

Lost the count of girls that have been introduced to me during parties or events from common friends that I deal with as if they were dudes.

Each and any fvck buddy I ever had has been found in those clear settings where no one close to me has access.
Maybe this speaks to an aggressive approach? I tend to be pretty picky, so it doesn't matter whether it's a girl at a bar or a girl in my circles, she'll have to qualify herself all the same and I stop all her progress wherever she lands. So if she only makes it to acquaintance or fling status, that's all she'll ever get from me. If she makes it to friend then there's chances for an STR. I don't force anything because I don't want something awkward to develop. If I'm feeling it I'll hint at what I want subtly enough that a lack of reciprocity doesn't ruin the mood.

For example if I like a girl I'll strike up a conversation. If she's receptive and asking questions back I'll tell her where I'm going later and that she's welcome to tag along, but I'll also mention something unrelated as an easy out for her. If she responds only to the unrelated subject, then it's her subtle way of telling me she's not interested in doing things together, and we continue the conversation talking about those other things as if nothing happened. Doesn't matter where I meet the girl, it's the same routine.

A lot of men hit on women they don't actually like, only because they physically want to fuuck something or to otherwise feel validated, thus they will usually hit on low smv women for easy 'wins'. It's short sighted imo and a waste of time.

The alternative can mean a lower lay count, and for whatever reason that bothers a lot of guys, despite it being better for them in the long run.

If I meet a woman out at bar and enjoy her company, I have no problem with being friends or her meeting my other friends. I have a general curiosity for what else is out there, but have no problem entertaining a friend in an existing circle that wants to get sexual.
 
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SW15

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I feel the need to hunt for women outside my social circle simply because I have never had a social circle capable of getting me dates. I've been participating in the mating environment for over 20 years and had less than 5 dates lifetime result from a social circle setup. In the few instances I have had a social circle setup, the dates did not result in sex either. 1-2 dates and no sex.

In my main social group, I know that 2 of the guys formed their relationships, both of which are now at 7+ years, as a result of social circle. Multiple guys in the social circle were fighting hard to get with these women when they were available. I know of a few other social circle formed couples.

I would rather bang an average girl met at a bar that same night than the friend of a friend who happen to be a 8.
I would prefer the friend of a friend who happens to be an 8.

First off, she's an 8. 8's are good. I would rather have sex with an 8 than a 5-5.5.

I prefer sex that leads to repeat sex. One night stands are not the best use of effort. If I have a same night lay with a 5-5.5 at a bar, it probably doesn't go any further than that. Even if I tried to get a repeat performance, there's a decent chance I'll deal with a ghost, flake, or other aggravation. Same night lays are rarely sustainable. If I meet an 8 who is the friend of a friend, I'll have a less aggravating initial courting process. She's not going to ghost, flake, etc. She'll treat me with dignity and respect throughout the process, knowing that if she misbehaves, she will have to hear about it from the social circle. If the interaction doesn't result in sex, it would result in something like 2-4 decent dates and both sides determined that there wasn't a good match. No hurt feelings there. If it does in result, it is likely to result in repeat sex over a 6 month period or longer. Social circle setups tend to produce longer relationships, often producing relationships that exceed one year. One year or more of reasonably frequent sex with an 8 is a better deal than a one time, same night lay with a 5-5.5.

Now, with a pandemic firmly in place, bar approaching is quite difficult. Outdoor approaching is the only real viable form of approaching right now and that can be weather and geography dependent. Good luck doing street and park approaches with temperatures around 32 degrees Fahrenheit or less, as is common in the Northern Hemisphere right now. No one is psyched to have a 10 minute conversation outdoors with a wind chill around 20-25. Social circle setups help a man avoid the pitfalls of swipe apps and cold approaching. Social circle is always the #1 method of getting dates and relationships. I've only had to rely upon swipe apps and approaching strangers for the last 22 years. It's a tough path. I determined that I didn't want to use swipe apps after bad experiences and approach strangers is difficult and often frustrating.

A less frustrating approach process and the potential for a longer term relationship from the effort will always lead me to prefer social circle when it is an option.

Maybe this speaks to an aggressive approach?
I mentioned earlier in this thread how 2 LTRs have formed out of my main social group. I competed for both of these women when they were available. It turned out that one had a very prudish reputation and likely would have been put off by my escalation tactics had we actually gone out. The other, while not having the same prudish reputation, is quite introverted and made the friend that I have wait longer for the initial instance of sex than I have ever waited. In effect, she's prudish too but better at hiding it. Every interaction I have had has resulted in sex in 5 dates or less, most by the end of date 3. While I don't have a firm rule on sex or next like some men, I tend to get straight to the point. There are men out there that have a "Sex by the end of Date 3 rule or I'm out" rule.

A lot of men hit on women they don't actually like, only because they physically want to fuuck something or to otherwise feel validated, thus they will usually hit on low smv women for easy 'wins'. It's short sighted imo and a waste of time.

The alternative can mean a lower lay count, and for whatever reason that bothers a lot of guys, despite it being better for them in the long run.
I can understand men who are younger or have a lower notch count going for low SMV women for easy wins to build notch counts. I don't agree with it but there are insecure men who do this. I'm 38 and have a higher lifetime notch count than 90-95%. Quality became more important to me as my notch count increased. If you're a guy with a notch count over 10, chasing low value vag is a total let down. You won't feel good about yourself. 10 is not a big notch count number. By your 26th birthday, you should have a notch count of 10 if you didn't have any relationships from ages 16-25 last more than 2 years and you've studied/practiced solid seduction strategies and tactics during that time.

Quality and sex frequency are the more important metrics to follow than pure notch count numbers. This might be easier for me to say as a 38 year old with a good lifetime notch count but I think even a 20 year notch man with a 1-3 notch count would be better focusing on the quality/frequency metrics.

A man who never marries will over time put up more notches just from existing and going through life. Marriages (assuming a guy doesn't cheat too much) have a way of chewing up a lot of time. A relationship that results in a failed marriage has a way of taking up 10 years. 10 years with one partner is going to slow a notch count.
 
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LARaiders85

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Something I never liked was dealing with women within my social circle, workplace or gym...not only I felt uncomfortable to flirt with them but even keeping basic communication, I kept it very polite but cold.

When I need to get intimate with a woman I feel comfortable doing it only outside with daily life, night clubs, bars, dating apps and so on.

I would rather bang an average girl met at a bar that same night than the friend of a friend who happen to be a 8.

Anyone can relate?

Keep in mind that it doesnt come from conscious decisions but purely from my inner self.

I kid you not I avoided getting close to girls in the gym even when it was them to approach me to talk about anything beside the time they need to leave the machine., I treat them by default as if they were men.

Lost the count of girls that have been introduced to me during parties or events from common friends that I deal with as if they were dudes.

Each and any fvck buddy I ever had has been found in those clear settings where no one close to me has access.
Because if things go south then there are going to be social consequences. You also see the downsides in their personality much more readily than someone who is putting on an act. Unfortunately we men are going to have better luck in social circle environment while social circle dating is less attractive to women than ever before.
 

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