"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Do Women Really Want A Male Birth Control Pill?

Maximus Rex

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Women have long lamented the unequal burden they shoulder in the area of contraception. Today researchers are reportedly moving closer to perfecting a male contraceptive that is free of side effects, easy to take, and reversible. But do women really want a male birth control pill?

Power is the reward which comes with responsibility. For example, during the Cold War Americans complained about the money and manpower spent protecting a reputedly ungrateful world from communism. Yet these sacrifices also helped give the United States great geopolitical power, with its attendant perks and privileges.

Similarly, while women legitimately complain that biology has condemned them to bear the burden of contraception, this burden also gives women control over one of the most important parts of any human being’s life--reproduction. The male birth control pill will shift much of that control from women to men. Is the following conversation far away?

Woman #1: “My [husband, boyfriend, significant other] is selfish. He's on the pill and won’t get off. I’ve asked him to stop taking it but he always says he’s not ready. He just won’t grow up. I don’t know what to do.”

Woman #2: “That’s what the pill has given men—a right to be perpetual adolescents. It’s given them veto power over women who want to have children.”

Despite the stigma that will develop against men who take the pill, the pill will be a success. While most women are responsible and want to have children with a willing, committed partner, studies show that lack of reproductive control can be a major problem for men today. For example, the National Scruples and Lies Survey 2004 polled 5,000 women in the United Kingdom for That’s Life! magazine. According to that survey, 42% of women claim they would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, regardless of the wishes of their partners.

Jo Checkley, the editor of That’s Life!, is correct when she says “to deliberately get pregnant when your partner doesn’t want a baby is playing Russian roulette with other people’s lives."

According to research conducted by Joyce Abma of the National Center for Health Statistics and Linda Piccinino of Cornell University, over a million American births each year result from pregnancies which men did not intend.

The male pill will fill a genuine economic need. Child support levels are rising, generally comprising 15-25% of take-home pay for one child, in addition to add-ons for child care, health care, and other costs. There is also a trend towards extending child support obligations beyond the age of 18, and child support enforcement is increasingly wide-ranging and effective.

Moreover, most men realize that it’s difficult to remain a part of their children’s lives once the relationship with the children’s mother has broken down, particularly if the children were born outside of marriage. The pill will help ensure that men only have children in the context that’s best for men--a stable marriage.

The advent of the female birth control pill greatly aided women’s struggle for autonomy and fulfillment. The male birth control pill will also create great changes, but these changes will not be to some women’s liking. Be careful what you ask for—you might get it.



This column was first published in Newsday (4/11/05).


Glenn Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of America's largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at www.GlennSacks.com or via email at [email protected].
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desdinova

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Despite the stigma that will develop against men who take the pill,
Wow, that's a pile of horse5hit. Women will still convince men that they don't need to take the pill, just like they currently convince men they don't need to wear a condom. Nothing will change.

According to that survey, 42% of women claim they would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant,
I don't doubt that it could be higher. I've experienced this three times.

The advent of the female birth control pill greatly aided women’s struggle for autonomy and fulfillment.
That's not really all that true, since many women don't FEEL like taking their pill every day.

The male contraceptive isn't that big of a deal.
 

penkitten

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i dont know any men that would want to take it anyhow.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

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It would take years to become wide spread because it has to overcome a very big barrier which is that 'the pill' is related to being a girl, so guys wont feel comfortable being on the pill, i certainly dont like the idea! And i dont care what they say i bet its bad for you, at least for your sperm count.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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