Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Do women no longer get attached after sex?

bigneil

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So we all know if a woman says "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" that translates to "I'm not ready for a relationship with you right now".

However, what if they have sex multiple times with you on the first date - within 3 days of meeting you - and then after having an orgasm and begging you not to leave say (in a long winded letter) "I'm not ready for a relationship right now?"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Iceberg

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bigneil said:
So we all know if a woman says "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" that translates to "I'm not ready for a relationship with you right now".

However, what if they have sex multiple times with you on the first date - within 3 days of meeting you - and then after having an orgasm and begging you not to leave say (in a long winded letter) "I'm not ready for a relationship right now?"
My question is: What are you doing that's making them think you're seeking a relationship?

Are you texting all the time? Are you calling too much? Making plans for Date#2 while you're still on Date#1?

I couldnt imagine a girl thinking that I'm trying to get her into a relationship within the first few dates...You must be doing something that's registering as "clingy"
 

bigneil

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Iceberg said:
My question is: What are you doing that's making them think you're seeking a relationship?

Are you texting all the time? Are you calling too much? Making plans for Date#2 while you're still on Date#1?

I couldnt imagine a girl thinking that I'm trying to get her into a relationship within the first few dates...You must be doing something that's registering as "clingy"
Please let me clarify - I certainly did not ask for a relationship. In the 7 days I knew her I texted her 20 times total while she texted me 45 times. I blew her off on our first scheduled meeting. I never once called. I only offered to take her to a movie (and I didn't ask until a day after our first date). And I absolutely wasn't clingy - in fact, she was clingy the morning after and I told her I couldn't have sex again because I had to be somewhere (always leave them wanting more). Then I didn't reply to her Saturday morning text until Monday. However when she didn't reply all day Monday, I knew it was over.

In my comment above I was simply paraphrasing her (much longer) letter explaining why she hadn't replied to my previous message all day.

Her 4 part text message Monday night read (something like) this: "I'm sorry, I had a traumatic weekend and got in a huge (verbal) fight with my ex. I told you my life is upside down right now and it is. I need to sort things out right now and can't complicate things anymore by starting something new. I do hope you understand."

This I interpreted as "I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
 

Jariel

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Iceberg does make a valid point. Even if you're not directly aware of it, you may be giving off clingy vibes.

I say this because it happened to me. Had sex with a girl on a 1st date, all was well and then she started getting cool and backing off. It was only after some thought I realised how little things I'd said, cuddling up in bed with her after sex, a long kiss goodbye etc could be interpreted as me getting too serious too soon.

But after reading your latest message it sounds like her ex is still in her life and having sex with you was either her attempt to even the score with him or a fleeting attempt to move on.

If a girl ever mentions that she's been arguing with an ex I next her.
 

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bigneil said:
Why is that?
Theoretically speaking women in that age range have been stuffed with **** by legions of different men. Aside from being old, bitter, used up hags it's no wonder they can't bond with one guy. The more different ****s a woman has inside of her the more it eats away at her ability to bond with one man. Why are people even complaining about this?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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bigneil

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As they say, dating in middle age is like shopping at the grocery store at 2AM. Sure, there is still some product left on the shelf, but the melons are bruised, the buns are stale, and the boxes have all been opened.
 

DonGorgon

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MartyMcFly said:
Seriously? How can women want that?
No wonder men get attached after sex, its become a complete role reversal.
I was raised with the mindset that if you became intimate with a girl, she was the more emotional of the two. Not the other way around. Its just plain.... wrong.
women have the power now so they dont need to get attached they have 50 other men that will do what ever they want for them so they place lower value on 95% of men..
 

ohnoes

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bigneil said:
Please let me clarify - I certainly did not ask for a relationship. In the 7 days I knew her I texted her 20 times total while she texted me 45 times. I blew her off on our first scheduled meeting. I never once called. I only offered to take her to a movie (and I didn't ask until a day after our first date). And I absolutely wasn't clingy - in fact, she was clingy the morning after and I told her I couldn't have sex again because I had to be somewhere (always leave them wanting more). Then I didn't reply to her Saturday morning text until Monday. However when she didn't reply all day Monday, I knew it was over.

In my comment above I was simply paraphrasing her (much longer) letter explaining why she hadn't replied to my previous message all day.

Her 4 part text message Monday night read (something like) this: "I'm sorry, I had a traumatic weekend and got in a huge (verbal) fight with my ex. I told you my life is upside down right now and it is. I need to sort things out right now and can't complicate things anymore by starting something new. I do hope you understand."

This I interpreted as "I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
Bigneil, when she says she isn't ready for a relationship she means it man. She has some emotional turmoil to going on. Why do you want to be mixed up in that?
 

ohnoes

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bigneil said:
Looking back at my last 3 relationships (over 9 months) I'm noticing a trend where women seem to have absolutely no attachment after having sex - even if they beg you for more sex.

That just didn't used to be the case at all.

The women were all HB8 in the age 36 to 42 range.

I can't see what I could be doing wrong if all 3 of them immediately wanted a sexual relationship and all three slept with me by the second date (and two had orgasms). One was a 6 day relationship, one was 6 week relationship and one was a 6 month relationship, but I never sensed any loyalty whatsoever.
How many different d1cks are going inside her?
If she has multiple d1cks, what's so special about yours?
Scarcity of d1ck = attachment
Plenty of d1ck = non-attachment

Is she looking for a relationship?
If she just isn't open to becoming attached, chances are she won't.

Bigneil, how do you define attachment? Begging for sex seems like an attachment to me.
 

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ohnoes said:
How many different d1cks are going inside her?
If she has multiple d1cks, what's so special about yours?
Scarcity of d1ck = attachment
Plenty of d1ck = non-attachment

Is she looking for a relationship?
If she just isn't open to becoming attached, chances are she won't.

Bigneil, how do you define attachment? Begging for sex seems like an attachment to me.
I think many fail to realize that men and women are NOT the same. Multiple partners can be a good thing for men but WILL wreak havoc on a woman's psyche.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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thedude4242

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if you fvck their brains out they will get attaced. seperate yoursef from the rest of the men. I have never been in a one night stand in my life because I only have sex with a girl who looks good enough to do more than that with. I was in one but it was because of my choice. I can get numbers and attraction.................and I can go all the night. my hardest part is step 2.
 

MartyMcFly

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BigJimbo said:
Learn Russian! Go to a region of the world where men are still brutal pigs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j9EqcuzBPU
Only in Russia would they just be passing laws that makes kidnapping virgins a crime :rolleyes: . The way I see it, much of the Russian speaking world still has a few generations before they hit the American 50's.
Hah, If I had the option to go to that region of the world. I definitely would. I'm not saying we need to be brutal pigs. I'm just saying, we need to be.... well, MEN.
 

MartyMcFly

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DonGorgon said:
women have the power now so they dont need to get attached they have 50 other men that will do what ever they want for them so they place lower value on 95% of men..
Yeah, no kidding. Its almost like, even if you do continue to improve yourself and become the best you can be, It doesn't matter, because an attractive woman has about 50 guys that will do whatever she wants. So why should she chase and pursue the guys like us who are going places with our lives?

But I digress, I can guarantee that if you continue to improve, you'll be rolling in more women than you know what to do with. They may never turn into LTRs but still. Lots of sex is better than masturbating.
 

st_99

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After thinking about it for a minute, they get attached after sex when YOU DONT get attached. Thats been my experience.
 

bigneil

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ohnoes said:
Bigneil, how do you define attachment? Begging for sex seems like an attachment to me.
I define attachment as their begging for sex and then being willing to see a movie the next week.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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