Do woman change with new man?

[latinnova]

Just out of curiosity, I am wondering if a woman will completely change for a new man? My ex-wife was a crazy jealous, needy, hyper insecure woman that never cleaned the house. Laundry was stacked to the ceiling (srs) and cooking was done maybe once a week. And the once a month she did do it she wanted me to bow down and praise her like a goddess.

So now she is with this new man, she is on her best behavior and she is actually going out and camping, shooting guns, hiking, etc.. which she truly hates to her core. I heard about this a month ago from a friend and then deleted face book so that I would hear no more, lol.

I am just curious if she will slowly start to go back to her former self, or if she has truly changed? Did this guy inherit the craziness, or did he get a changed woman?

 

[AttackFormation]

She will keep the facade up as long as she feels he isn't properly suckered in yet.

 

[exhausted]

No she is bat**** crazy, just putting on a good act. In due time her true colors will shine, and no offense to your kids but this guy will realize he doesn't want a crazy ****ty partner who bails on her family, while being a cheater and has kids that he does not feel like raising.

buy your time my friend, I went through the same, 7 years later and my ex is still trying to get back together with me. 7 years no contact and she wont give up.

i have the upper hand and i will NEVER speak to her or acknowledge her existence again..

stay strong.. go slay some *****, hit the gym every chance you get and be better every day.

 

[latinnova]

No she is bat**** crazy, just putting on a good act. In due time her true colors will shine, and no offense to your kids but this guy will realize he doesn't want a crazy ****ty partner who bails on her family, while being a cheater and has kids that he does not feel like raising.

buy your time my friend, I went through the same, 7 years later and my ex is still trying to get back together with me. 7 years no contact and she wont give up.

i have the upper hand and i will NEVER speak to her or acknowledge her existence again..

stay strong.. go slay some *****, hit the gym every chance you get and be better every day.

Already doing that bro, appreciate the good sentiment though. I'm working full time, going to college full time, and killing it at the gym in between. Never been in better shape in my life. I'm feeling really good. I was just curious about this though, because she is doing all kinds of things she would never do with me, so I just wanted to ask to see if you guys think she has really changed.

No, F her, I am done with that coont. I don't miss her at all, the only thing I miss are the kiddos, but I am getting used to things and am starting to enjoy my free time with no nagging, b!tching, nor the truly hyper psychotic episodes that happen once a month.

 

[stephenbaldwin]

Already doing that bro, appreciate the good sentiment though. I'm working full time, going to college full time, and killing it at the gym in between. Never been in better shape in my life. I'm feeling really good. I was just curious about this though, because she is doing all kinds of things she would never do with me, so I just wanted to ask to see if you guys think she has really changed.

No, F her, I am done with that coont. I don't miss her at all, the only thing I miss are the kiddos, but I am getting used to things and am starting to enjoy my free time with no nagging, b!tching, nor the truly hyper psychotic episodes that happen once a month.

Man, you have the right idea and attitude. Keep it up. I can't tell you how much the experience you've shared has been a beneficial life lesson for me and I'm sure countless other men on this board. You being able to move on and be successful, after being dealt that ****ty hand, man that should give us all the motivation to man up. Keep it up, read the book of pook--specifically A Second Life. Don't look back and analyze. Just like when skydiving, once you exit the plane, and truly feel the present, you don't give a **** about the past

 

[latinnova]

Don't look back and analyze. Just like when skydiving, once you exit the plane, and truly feel the present, you don't give a **** about the past

Hell ya man, I love that analogy. Will definitely store that in the library of my brain, lol. They say that is what living life is all about, being aware of the present. The past has happened, the future has not, the only thing that is truly real is what is happening right now! Great post man, I really liked that.

 

[Big Nuts]

Women are incapable of introspection. She believes you are 100% at fault for the demise of your marriage. She has entered into another honeymoon phase where she displays positive qualities until the new sucker is hooked. He will eventually learn he has sold his soul. Rinse and repeat until men learn game inside and outside marriage.

 

[Blargh]

Shouldn't the "frame" be considered. Obviously virtually all women are on thier very best and pleasing (within reason) behavior at the start of a relationship. Some commentors on the site will talk about controlling the frame of the relationship at the start of the relationship and ensuring you keep the frame throughout. It is said, often in marriages, a guy will relax on the frame and stop applying game principles, or basically get complacent.
If you are really interested in it, I suggest you review your old relationship and see when and where the frame, or even if, it was lost. But only for self-improvement, not for reliving days gone by. Gone is gone, for better or for worse, but it seems like you have accepted that.
Obviously, you can't critique her new relationship to see if the new man has control over the frame or if it's just a case of the woman giving it her best due to the novelty of having a new man. If we put faith in the frame theory, then it can possible that this new guy could fix/control her. Worth his effort? Who knows.
Unless you think you can better yourself through reviewing this, forget it.

 

[Colossus]

Women are incapable of introspection. She believes you are 100% at fault for the demise of your marriage. She has entered into another honeymoon phase where she displays positive qualities until the new sucker is hooked. He will eventually learn he has sold his soul. Rinse and repeat until men learn game inside and outside marriage.

QFT.

 

[Desdinova]

So now she is with this new man, she is on her best behavior and she is actually going out and camping, shooting guns, hiking, etc.. which she truly hates to her core.

Women will NOT truly change for a new man. My ex-wife was on her best behaviour for the two years before we got married and move in together. After that, it was like someone flipped the 'off' switch. She suddenly became the most self-centred, useless woman I've ever met.

She also currently has a new man and is putting on the "I'm a fantastic mother" show for him since he's a single father. She's already slipping in that department again, and it won't be long before it goes completely downhill. She's a really 5hitty parent, and I can see through all the "good parent" paint she's been slathering onto herself.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Latin,
Can the Leopard ever change its spots?...Not really,but they will improve,sometimes quite markedly for some time...then like all of us they Default to type...They know this,it's called limerance and this is why so many of us just keep moving on!...elements of this in spinning plates,so I am not everly critical.

 

[gov87]

Great thread/discussion here.

Really helps to see things for what they are and let you know you're not crazy. My last relationship which ended several months ago was similar. She was so anxious to have a ring on her finger which should've been a deal breaker from the get go but I was too nice. She wasn't sexual, but I feel she used it to try to get closer to what she wanted and that was trapping me. I felt the vibe that she was just trying her best until she got a ring on her finger and then she would feel she could do whatever she wanted once married since she knew I was a committed guy. I ended up lasting for so long bc I blamed myself thinking I was delusional or just being negative.

This stuff is truly disgusting and I find myself very bitter towards her. I'm trying to let that go, but it's hard to be honest. I think women like this will absolutely put on their best performance until they get the guy secured and then who the heck knows how they will act. My ex and I were together for only a year and a half so I could only imagine what she'd be like in a marriage 5 years later.

If you are in a situation similar and you are getting similar vibes or if you have a friend in a similar position, get yourself or them AWAY from this type of woman. All women are like this to an extent, but I do believe their are good ones out their that would do about anything for their guy. I told my ex girlfriend I wanted to have more sex and felt bad when she rejected it, and she acted like this was impossible to do. Again, we deserve the best. Don't settle and focus on YOUR needs.

One more thing, the person who said women can't introspect, he's absolutely correct. I think some can to a degree and these are better quality, but a lot do not have this ability whatsoever. My ex watched me introspect the sh** outta myself and didn't even understand what I was doing. She complained that I shouldn't do this (prob bc she could see I was figuring things out). After the relationship was over, I know i did things wrong and could admit them. However, not once did she ever try to think about what she did or offer any kind of explanation in an attempt to understand things. The only thing she said was "well, I know I wasn't 100% innocent either".

Stay strong, for yourselves, my friends.

 

[Colossus]

On the note of introspection, not only are they not capable of this to any meaningful degree (the vast majority of them), but they aren't even AWARE they cannot be introspective and thus accountable for their mistakes.

You can tell them they aren't introspective or accountable till you 're blue in the face, but in order to even realize this they would need to have a modicum of these qualities in the first place.

 

[Desdinova]

If the woman is over 23, everything that has a major influence on her personality has already taken place. You're stuck with however she currently is. Some of her interests will change and some of her behaviors will mildly change, but her core is pretty much set in place.

 

[Vulpine]

People change. I've changed after finding this site, as have many others, right? I've watched chicks that I've burned the ƒuck out of change, too. I've watched chicks go out and try to find my replacement, only to spin out into washed-up, bombed-out barslüts.

The tough part of watching an ex is that you can only see your involvement and compare then and now. I recognized that some women I've been with have really "pulled the crazy" out of me. Others have really helped me be better. So, I can say that I have had an effect on women that way, too. I'm sure I brought the crazy out of a few women, and I also know that I have really made some other women's lives better.

This is where the "no contact" thing shows it's true value. Instead of "what if", you blind yourself to also "what iffing" yourself. "What if I was a douche? What if this new guy is better? What the what the what?!!!"

Good job deleting your facebook, latinnova. She's not your problem anymore, let the past stay there...

on to the future!!!

 

[latinnova]

People change. I've changed after finding this site, as have many others, right? I've watched chicks that I've burned the ƒuck out of change, too. I've watched chicks go out and try to find my replacement, only to spin out into washed-up, bombed-out barslüts.

The tough part of watching an ex is that you can only see your involvement and compare then and now. I recognized that some women I've been with have really "pulled the crazy" out of me. Others have really helped me be better. So, I can say that I have had an effect on women that way, too. I'm sure I brought the crazy out of a few women, and I also know that I have really made some other women's lives better.

This is where the "no contact" thing shows it's true value. Instead of "what if", you blind yourself to also "what iffing" yourself. "What if I was a douche? What if this new guy is better? What the what the what?!!!"

Good job deleting your facebook, latinnova. She's not your problem anymore, let the past stay there...

on to the future!!!

Thanks, I wish I could do the no contact route, but since we have kids we have to keep in contact and she asks for favors, which I obviously do not give, and it's a nightmare. I'm gonna ban her texts...

 

[Desdinova]

Thanks, I wish I could do the no contact route, but since we have kids we have to keep in contact and she asks for favors, which I obviously do not give, and it's a nightmare. I'm gonna ban her texts...

I made it quite clear with my ex-wife that we're not "buddies", but need to keep contact strictly to dealings with our child. She occasionally tries to lure me in and get us on a more friendly, personal level. I ignore it and give vague answers.

 

[VikingKing]

Yes. Me and my friends talk about this once. Women will mold to any guy she is attracted to. Master manipulators.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
Everyone here has attributed mercenary motivation in her actions,but the Sum is more than the parts...Understand that meeting a new Man has triggered some very pleasurable Atavistic response in her body...Her friends will be commenting how well she looks,there will be a Sparkle in her eye and a spring in her foot,she does not have to feign an increased Svexuality,she is genuinely Hvorny...Of course as the novelty wears off she will default to type,but a few years down the track she will be ready again...That Gentlemen is Limerence!

 

[jc_80]

How ironic this post is. I just texted my ex the other day. She texted this - I know I'm not perfect but improvements have been made and I've grown all around as a person! I am and will always be your friend too!

If this is true I'm happy for her. But I have to say it's a burn that she makes these changes after breaking up over them instead of while we were together. In her mind I'm a douche bag for making her aware of her issues yet she's new and improved because she saw the damage it did to our relationship.

Anyway, all people can change some things about themselves during and after relationships. We learn a lot about ourselves through them if we choose to be introspective. I think once interests level has come down they are too stubborn for introspection.