"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Do too many of us try to be something we're not socially?

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bigdave17

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if you're not a super extroverted, super ****y joke teller, you can't try to be like that because people can smell fakeness from a mile away. Being genuine, comfortable with yourself and not coming across as needy or desperate are all absolutely huge socially.

For me personally, my biggest strength is that I can make people feel very comfortable around me socially. That's what I use to dominate at work - when people feel comfortable around you, they trust you

I think part of my issue has been that I've wanted a girlfriend so badly that I haven't been myself and women can sense that. It seems like the best results socially happen when you don't care, are super comfortable with yourself and others around you and then it just seemingly happens when you least expect it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheProspect

TheProspect

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Everybody wears a mask. Some people are just able to wear theirs more convincingly.

No one behaves the same way universally in EVERY social situation EVERY time. Different masks for different contexts.

bigdave17 said:
I think part of my issue has been that I've wanted a girlfriend so badly that I haven't been myself and women can sense that. I.
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"Just be yourself" is not always a good strategy. Especially if you suck. Then the advice is "Just suck".

No woman likes a guy who just sucks...
 
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