Do not know what to do with my girlfriend

[newuser123]

Okay. Me and my gf have been together for 1 year plus. Only recently she was acting strange. We had a big fight and we did not contact each other for 2 days. I messaged her and told her i was sorry and i thought things were going to be fine.

We exchanged a few msgs and then she stopped replying my texts. The next day i asked if she was busy the night before because she was the type that would reply to my texts. She said that she forget to reply to my texts. I got even pissed because she said that she forget. We got into another quarrel because of this. Then I told her that i didn't want to quarrel over text msgs so i told her to meet me. But she said another day as she had stuffs to do.

I'm actually suspecting that she is seeing her ex bf again because her parents only let her go out late at night with her ex because they trust him more. (Her parents hate me. LOL)

So what am i supposed to do now? The last text i received from her was saying that she had stuffs to do and can't meet me. I didn't reply to that text till now. Should i reply? What should i do?

 

[the_great_gaia]

We had a big fight and we did not contact each other for 2 days. I messaged her and told her i was sorry and i thought things were going to be fine.

I think this was a mistake. Some girls actually like to feel mad at their boyfriends. They brag about it all the time to their girlfriends, because it's a story to tell: "Ugh, my boyfriend makes me sooo sick!!" They love feeling that way sometimes. It's really just a bunch of woman estrogen that doesn't make any sense, and I think your value in her diminished when you told her that you were sorry. What exactly were you sorry for?

In truth, there was probably no reason for you to be sorry, but you only said it so that you and her would stop playing this 'game.' This silent treatment, which is HER GAME.

By the way you tell this, it seems like she may have lost interest in you, or have gained interest in someone else. I always believe that a girl can be in love with you, but she already knows who her next boyfriend is going to be. In this case, it seems that she's ready to act on it.

If I were you, I'd no contact her, and meet other people. Do this now, before she shows you how it's done.. which is painful.

Good luck!

 

[DonGorgon]

Okay. Me and my gf have been together for 1 year plus. Only recently she was acting strange. We had a big fight and we did not contact each other for 2 days. I messaged her and told her i was sorry and i thought things were going to be fine.

We exchanged a few msgs and then she stopped replying my texts. The next day i asked if she was busy the night before because she was the type that would reply to my texts. She said that she forget to reply to my texts. I got even pissed because she said that she forget. We got into another quarrel because of this. Then I told her that i didn't want to quarrel over text msgs so i told her to meet me. But she said another day as she had stuffs to do.

I'm actually suspecting that she is seeing her ex bf again because her parents only let her go out late at night with her ex because they trust him more. (Her parents hate me. LOL)

So what am i supposed to do now? The last text i received from her was saying that she had stuffs to do and can't meet me. I didn't reply to that text till now. Should i reply? What should i do?

^^^ perfect example of how the modern male is now the "female" in relationships .. whining and begging and saying sorry and trying to work it out etc while the female is non caring and cold and disrespectful like men used to be back in the day.. The power has shifted completely over to females with 90% of makes now being the b!tch in their relationships...lolo sad times..

i wonder is this poor guy even read his own post and saw how girly it sounded...lol she has moved on a loooong time ago and this guy has no clue.. sad times

 

[Desdinova]

When the woman you're dating is drastically changing in a short period of time, the relationship is over.

The next day i asked if she was busy the night before because she was the type that would reply to my texts. She said that she forget to reply to my texts.

In other words, you're no longer a priority in her life. It's time to flush this goldfish down the toilet and go get a new one.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

fvck her dude.. move on. Don't freak out at her since she is not worth a rise in your temper, just move on.

 

[Aaron B]

we need to know what the fight was about

we need to know if you were really at fault, or apologized to keep the peace

perhaps she needs to admit fault

also she has low interest in you

 

[SgtSplacker]

Apologizing is considered bad here and to be avoided at all times, even if it is your fault. Too much texting is considered bad here, it's kind of a girls game. There are two mistakes you did already that are pretty huge. Don't contact her anymore and go meet new women. If you talk to her again show a low interest level in her and let her know how much fun you have been having dating the two models you met with oral fixation.... maybe not exactly but you get my drift.

Oh and if she texts you either dont answer or make it a yes or no answer, seem very distant...

 

[perseverance]

If you have an argument with your girlfriend and she starts pulling off stunts like ignoring you for a few days, going back to her ex, refusing to meet up with you and shows lower interest then she is too immature for a relationship and I wouldn't bother with a woman like that. It is natural for couples to have arguments and within a few hours they usually make up.

It would be interesting to know what you were arguing about and what you said to each other that could have caused her to literally drop you like a hot potato.

 

[perseverance]

Apologizing is considered bad here and to be avoided at all times, even if it is your fault.

I disagree, if you are in the wrong, you should always hold your hands up, be accountable for your mistakes, apologise and then move on. There is a difference between saying you're sorry and grovelling like a lovestruck puppy. The key to happiness in your life is striking the happy medium, there is no need to go to the extremes.

 

[floydb25]

Apologizing isn't bad, but under the right conditions. If you're genuinely sorry, and looking to make amends with no ulterior motives. Apologizing as a form of approval seeking (ie, I'm sorry, please accept me) is pretty bad. Or, when you're trying to win someone back. All it does is place the control in their hands, and you're not being genuine anyway. Lose-lose.

 

[Aaron B]

I disagree, if you are in the wrong, you should always hold your hands up, be accountable for your mistakes, apologise and then move on.

and why do you feel that way?

probably its because as a man you have been taught honesty and integrity

the women we are in relationships with do not possess those traits

why would i willingly admit fault to a woman who isn't capable of returning the favor?

There is a difference between saying you're sorry and grovelling like a lovestruck puppy. The key to happiness in your life is striking the happy medium, there is no need to go to the extremes.

Talk is cheap, and apologies are worthless.

I don't say I'm sorry, because I'M NOT SORRY.

Apologize by not doing it again if its so bad and awful and harmful.

An apology is an attempt to get back into her good graces. But you can't use your words to change how she feels. She feels however she feels about it for the moment and nothing you say can make her not feel that way.

 

[perseverance]

and why do you feel that way?

probably its because as a man you have been taught honesty and integrity

the women we are in relationships with do not possess those traits

why would i willingly admit fault to a woman who isn't capable of returning the favor?

Why do I feel that way? It might be because I was raised properly by my parents.

Why on earth do I care what a woman possesses or doesn't possess? I am more concerned with what I possess and what I do not possess.

There is such a saying of "being the better person", why on earth would I want to sink to someone's low level? I'm better than they are, superior to them.

If I am at fault for something, I'll hold my hands up, admit I was in the wrong, apologise and move on.

 

[the_great_gaia]

i wouldn't apologize.. if I did something and she can't accept it, tough shiit. Women will take your kindness for weakness, especially if she's playing it as a game to see what she can skate away with. Most women (especially hot chics) would do exactly as I would, and say "tough shiit". I got that treatment all the time, so I can't afford to be kind.

 

[Aaron B]

why don't parents raise their daughters to admit fault? why aren't girls taught integrity and honesty? or are they, but they don't see them as a part of their gender-identity (but boys do)? is it possible that they value these traits much more realistically than us?

why do you base your sense of self-worth on behaving in a superior fashion to her and other people?

(i'm asking you this as a self-aware narcissist by the way)

apologize all you want, it doesn't matter to me. i have learned from experience that when it comes to romantic relationships with women, apologies cause me more problems than they solve, so i never apologize without having a specific reason that will benefit me

if living my life causes her pain, she is free to leave if she doesn't like it. again, if i agree with her that i shouldn't have done whatever i did, i'll apologize by agreeing to not do it again then following thru

but only after she calls me out on it. otherwise there's simply no logical reason to admit fault. i was raised "right" too, and in today's world honesty and integrity simply do not benefit me in most cases. when they do, i use them. when they don't, i don't. its taken me years to overcome my "proper" upbringing. if everyone raised their kids like me and you were raised, it wouldn't be a problem but they don't and it is

also "why do you care what women possess or don't possess?" obviously the characteristics and traits of the women you enter into romantic relationships with are of utmost importance to you

 

[perseverance]

why do you base your sense of self-worth on behaving in a superior fashion to her and other people?

(i'm asking you this as a self-aware narcissist by the way)

Bloody good question, chap, a bloody good question. I don't base my self-worth on behaving in a superior fashion, I base my self-worth on the fact that in my eyes I am the finest human being walking this Earth at this present time and will be until my dying day. I see myself as number one and I never accept or tolerate second best.

You raise a good point about the traits thing, I suppose they do matter when entering a romantic* relationship with a woman, but that's not going to happen for a long while, so I am not really thinking about it at the moment. I am just focusing on me.