"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Do NOT know how to read this chick.

8ball

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She wants to keep things at a slow pace. OK

When we're together, she constantly gazes at me..smiling. Her eyes twinkle, she kisses me, she says "I like kissing you." She's affectionate...she's great.

But the bummer is she was a nerd in HS. No guys. Reads fantasy a lot. Wants to move slow. Stresses that she wants to move slow. Been single a long time.

She rarely initiates contact. When I initiate contact she's happy and open. She's a big fan of Disney princesses, romance etc.

When I'm with her, she's very interested. Apart, she initiates no contact. My thought is is this is how she is wired. Should I play it cool and be patient?

I really want this girl.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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pdx1138

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as is often told here: don't believe what she says, but what she does.

I could almost guarantee you if you two are hanging out at one's place and drinking, you'll hit it.

don't worry about her not initiating contact, she sounds like she wants to be chased.

keep chasing.
 

TempestNight

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Girls like these are extremely easy. Just remember the philosophy of: 2 steps forward 1 step back.

How to step forward: Talk about fate and destiny, depends on how you met, make up a story about how you two are meant to meet, meant to be together. You need to be semi-romantic and sweet with small guestures, be sensual with your kissing and kino.

How to step back: Push her slightly away by being indifferent at times, start taking back the attention that you gave to her, talk about other girls you have met with her, make her jealous. Joke about how you two are too different. Tease her shortcomings. If she's trying to play hard to get, ignore her. If she's interested in you enough she will break the ice. Then resume stepping forward.

Keep doing this cycle to play with her emotions and minds and she will have no idea how to make of you. Eventually she will be convinced that she is in love with you and she will happilly give all her first times to you.
 

8ball

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Ok, but what she DOES, is not act interested until she's in my presence. It might be a confidence thing. I DO get the impression that if a) we were alone, we'd hit it and b) she's probably an uncaged animal in bed. But these nerd girls are hard to dial in.
 

pdx1138

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8ball said:
But these nerd girls are hard to dial in.

They certainly can be. Before I knew any better I assumed they'd be the easiest to catch. Most often they are not.

do what tempestnight suggests.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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8ball

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So what should I do? I really like her an want to get her, but the other half of me says "Chalk it up as a loss..."
 
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