Caldus
Senior Don Juan
I wonder if Cherry really is a guy myself...
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
DO nice girls take longer to put out?
- Thread starter dig it
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
hi again
I know I spiralled out of control and did stupid things. I doubt that any man will ever accept me again, unless I lie. I am so sorry for my actions that I loathe myself. I really gave myself to my boyfriend at 18 but he was all I had when my Mother died. I thought he loved me, he said we would marry and have children. When I finished Uni he left me for another girl he had been having an affair with. Two weeks later my friends boyfriend said he wanted me and I let him have me, but he was just using me as well for one night.
Soon after I was pursued by a very wealthy man and he paid me money for sex. So yes, I was a prostitute that one time. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I did. How do I take it back? What do I do? I was sexually abused as a child and really, I just want my Mother back. I wish God would just give me my Mother back. I could just stay with her.
A good friend of mine, an older man looks after me now. He is like a Father to me and he loves me but in a protective way. Some of you Men have no idea how beautiful you can be to a woman. I don't know where I would be without him. He says I should take time to get to know myself, and that is what I am doing. He comes in here sometimes by the way.
As for sex with your girlfriend, I am at the stage now where I don't see why I would make the man of my dreams have to wait. I have only had three boyfriends, the first broke my heart, the other two beat me up. Obviously the problem is mine.
This older man is a bit of a player, but to me he is just protective. He has never tried anything and he easily could have at one point.
I don't blame you men for hating me, I really don't, but I hope you believe what I am saying regarding this issue. If she loves you or cares for you, I don't see why she would make you wait. You men have all the power, all we have is our sexuality. It is our only weapon. Do you think you would like to have our body strength and our emotional states? Would you like cramps followed by period pain every month of your young life until you reach menopause?
From what I have read in here, most of you guys are just unaware of the power you have over us. We really need you. When a man really loves you, even just as an older friend, it is like protection and validation.
If I don't sound bittchy enough it is because I am trying to understand you as much as you are trying to understand us. I just don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to hurt myself. That is why I am having a break from men for a year or so. I just hope I don't miss my Mr. Right, but it was desperate thoughts like this that made me do stupid things.
My advice to you guys is very simple. Be strong, we depend on your strength. As for me being a guy, I don't know what to say to you, I wish I could say something to let you know that I am a girl. I am in here to help you guys and hopefully to redeem myself and be able to forgive myself for what I have done.
Finally, I love men still, and I hate feminism.
I know I spiralled out of control and did stupid things. I doubt that any man will ever accept me again, unless I lie. I am so sorry for my actions that I loathe myself. I really gave myself to my boyfriend at 18 but he was all I had when my Mother died. I thought he loved me, he said we would marry and have children. When I finished Uni he left me for another girl he had been having an affair with. Two weeks later my friends boyfriend said he wanted me and I let him have me, but he was just using me as well for one night.
Soon after I was pursued by a very wealthy man and he paid me money for sex. So yes, I was a prostitute that one time. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I did. How do I take it back? What do I do? I was sexually abused as a child and really, I just want my Mother back. I wish God would just give me my Mother back. I could just stay with her.
A good friend of mine, an older man looks after me now. He is like a Father to me and he loves me but in a protective way. Some of you Men have no idea how beautiful you can be to a woman. I don't know where I would be without him. He says I should take time to get to know myself, and that is what I am doing. He comes in here sometimes by the way.
As for sex with your girlfriend, I am at the stage now where I don't see why I would make the man of my dreams have to wait. I have only had three boyfriends, the first broke my heart, the other two beat me up. Obviously the problem is mine.
This older man is a bit of a player, but to me he is just protective. He has never tried anything and he easily could have at one point.
I don't blame you men for hating me, I really don't, but I hope you believe what I am saying regarding this issue. If she loves you or cares for you, I don't see why she would make you wait. You men have all the power, all we have is our sexuality. It is our only weapon. Do you think you would like to have our body strength and our emotional states? Would you like cramps followed by period pain every month of your young life until you reach menopause?
From what I have read in here, most of you guys are just unaware of the power you have over us. We really need you. When a man really loves you, even just as an older friend, it is like protection and validation.
If I don't sound bittchy enough it is because I am trying to understand you as much as you are trying to understand us. I just don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to hurt myself. That is why I am having a break from men for a year or so. I just hope I don't miss my Mr. Right, but it was desperate thoughts like this that made me do stupid things.
My advice to you guys is very simple. Be strong, we depend on your strength. As for me being a guy, I don't know what to say to you, I wish I could say something to let you know that I am a girl. I am in here to help you guys and hopefully to redeem myself and be able to forgive myself for what I have done.
Finally, I love men still, and I hate feminism.
thecraftylefty
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2001
- Messages
- 417
- Reaction score
- 7
Keeping it on topic....
The entire notion of "nice girl" is one where you think that she's probably a goody goody and is adverse to having sex early in a relationship. She could be the sweetest, prettiest, smartest, and still be craving to have a man that knows what he is doing, is confident, and knows what he wants in life come into her life and spice up her (sex) life.
When you put labels on girls, such as "nice," "whorê," or "sunshine," you are already limiting yourself because you let their (perceived) personality stop you from doing what you should do in any normal situation with a girl: relate to them. Placing certain, sometimes unrealistic, expectations on a girl just because you think she is a certain way is self-defeating. You should go in knowing that although each person is different we still need the same things on a base level. Whether it is security, protection, or just someone to hold at the end of the day, a woman wants a man that can be a man around her. Not someone who sees her as a label.
Perhaps underneath all the layers all she really wants is a man to make her feel sexy. When you can do that it doesn't matter about anything else.
thecraftylefty
The entire notion of "nice girl" is one where you think that she's probably a goody goody and is adverse to having sex early in a relationship. She could be the sweetest, prettiest, smartest, and still be craving to have a man that knows what he is doing, is confident, and knows what he wants in life come into her life and spice up her (sex) life.
When you put labels on girls, such as "nice," "whorê," or "sunshine," you are already limiting yourself because you let their (perceived) personality stop you from doing what you should do in any normal situation with a girl: relate to them. Placing certain, sometimes unrealistic, expectations on a girl just because you think she is a certain way is self-defeating. You should go in knowing that although each person is different we still need the same things on a base level. Whether it is security, protection, or just someone to hold at the end of the day, a woman wants a man that can be a man around her. Not someone who sees her as a label.
Perhaps underneath all the layers all she really wants is a man to make her feel sexy. When you can do that it doesn't matter about anything else.
thecraftylefty
Thundercat
Don Juan
Yep. Definitely a guy.
Thundercat
Thundercat
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
duke007
Master Don Juan
Damn, the similarities between Cherry and the girl I'm currently seeing are almost disturbing.
28, Australian, had a big messy breakup at 22, and waiting for the right man until she puts out. If it's you, let me know and I'll crawl into a deep hole.
I gave her head last night but she got too sensitive and shy so we stopped. Damn that was frustrating. So I would say that yes, nice girls do take longer to put out. Especially if they're prone to overanalysing.
28, Australian, had a big messy breakup at 22, and waiting for the right man until she puts out. If it's you, let me know and I'll crawl into a deep hole.
I gave her head last night but she got too sensitive and shy so we stopped. Damn that was frustrating. So I would say that yes, nice girls do take longer to put out. Especially if they're prone to overanalysing.
I wouldn't want a submissive woman such as Cherry. In a relationship, the power needs to be balanced, or else it gets to the power-holder's head and the flame that keeps the relationship alive slowly dies out.
Touching story, by the way, but I'm having my doubts on its truthfulness...
Touching story, by the way, but I'm having my doubts on its truthfulness...
luv_ya_amj
Don Juan
In other words...
It's simply an illogical fallacy.
Just because "Julie" or one person does it, doesn't mean we all do...
Ah...the education must continue, I see...
(Haha...guys are just as guilty by being so called "zipperdropper" 's...
And that's not just to use the commode or mag...)
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Every girl/woman has the potential to be a slut, and in most girls/women's minds, they are... whether they know it or not, all women are sluts to an extent, weather they SHOW it, or if they keep it to themselves.
luv_ya_amj: when you start having sex more often, you will see what i mean, and if you are already having sex, then i'm guessing that it sux
00Kevin said:
True... but women can do the exact same
Laterz...
Yea, nice girls will want to wait because they are biologically programmed to go slow, so that they can screen out weak partners, and find one who is potentially a comitted parent. Remember, if she is slow with you, she wouldn't be bedhopping with other guys when you two get married. On a conscious level, it shows she has principles, probably due to a religion -- Integrity. Would a confident man make ultimatums about sex? I don't think so. The woman has to ask you for sex.
a man doesn't have to say it. He doesn't have to try be the one in control he just naturally is the one in control.
A problem can occur if you date a woman who is fighting for power. I had this problem in my last relationship. She wouldn't put out because she wanted power. Needless to say this resulted in a lack of passion. At some point the relationship ends. If you are having a problem with passion in your relationship consider that it might be her trying to fight for power.
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
Re: I waited
FINALLY, ONE OF THEM ADMITTED IT!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
AlwaysExcel
Senior Don Juan
So "nice girls" have different brains than "dirty girls"??
Most girls act nice and most try to avoid the slut label (the girl I met and made out with in the club last weekend said she "never does this." The girl I fvcked on the second "date" said she is "not promiscuous and is a relationship girl"). So how can you know whether a girl is "nice" or not?
Her actions?? So she goes slow with you. How do you know she didn't give it up fast with another dude or isn't doing that WHILE with you?? How are so sure that she is consistent and treats you the same as other dudes??
I think it makes more sense that if a girl is going slow with you, she is not sufficiently gamed/turned on and/or she is trying to train you to be her committed partner.
Who knows what they really think though.
I can't tell you how many times I hooked up with a girl at a club, made out with her or fycked her the same night, etc. and given the "I never do this" (yea right), "you are the first" (ok) or blamed her sluttiness on alcohol in a vain attempt to appear "nice".
A woman may be a slut and she may even acknowledge that internally but she is very sensitive to the slut/wh0re label.
The fact of the matter is you really can't tell whether a girl is nice or bad by the mere fact that she refrains from sleeping with you early on in the relationship. She can be the biggest slut in town and may decide to wait so as to appear nice in the hopes of keeping you. She may have labeled you as a nice guy/provider while she goes out behind your back and bangs the bad boy.
I have seen this happen so many times because I used to be that bad boy/FB that women used to come to for a quick lay while they were seeing other guys at the same time. These other guys were almost always your typical nice guy AFC types.
If you want to meet a nice girl then go to church to find her. Even then you are not guaranteed that she may not be a closet slut as I have encountered so called church girls who were freaks. But you get the point. By all means don 't go to bars/night clubs as 90 % of the women you meet there are sluts/bad girls.
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Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
I can see I'm going to have to lay down an Iron Law of Tomassi on you guys again.
Iron Law #3
Any woman who makes you wait for sex or implies by her actions she is making you wait - THE SEX IS NEVER WORTH THE WAIT.
Think about every memorable sexual experience you've had. I can guarantee you that the vast majority were immediate, spontaneous, chemical reactions of attraction and hormones. When a woman fillibusters you about sex and then concedes to it, the sex is NEVER WORTH THE WAIT.
When a woman makes you wait for sex you can assume you are not her first priority, because if a woman wants to fvck she will find a way to fvck. She'll crawl through windows and under barbed wire to get after it. Nice girls, whors, whatever, they will find a way, find an excuse, find a hotel room, you name it.
EXAMPLE: I have a personal friend who was dead set on fvcking this semi-hot HB 7 'Nice Girl' who put him off and made up personal reasons why she needed to wait, but kept him on the hook for months only to have her fvck the manager for a major musician we were doing work for in a single night. He was never a priority and even if she had relented she would've never been into fvcking him.
Iron Law #3
Any woman who makes you wait for sex or implies by her actions she is making you wait - THE SEX IS NEVER WORTH THE WAIT.
Think about every memorable sexual experience you've had. I can guarantee you that the vast majority were immediate, spontaneous, chemical reactions of attraction and hormones. When a woman fillibusters you about sex and then concedes to it, the sex is NEVER WORTH THE WAIT.
When a woman makes you wait for sex you can assume you are not her first priority, because if a woman wants to fvck she will find a way to fvck. She'll crawl through windows and under barbed wire to get after it. Nice girls, whors, whatever, they will find a way, find an excuse, find a hotel room, you name it.
EXAMPLE: I have a personal friend who was dead set on fvcking this semi-hot HB 7 'Nice Girl' who put him off and made up personal reasons why she needed to wait, but kept him on the hook for months only to have her fvck the manager for a major musician we were doing work for in a single night. He was never a priority and even if she had relented she would've never been into fvcking him.
TurboOverCubicInches
Don Juan
I dunno..maybe im just not as expereiened as I should be...but in all my cases, when the girl was really into me, A) every one of them made out and let me get to 2nd base on the first date, B) ALMOST all except 1 or 2 wanted to have sex the first time.