Do I take womanizing too personally?

[squirrels]

I was probably one of the bigger "losers" back in my school days. Before I discovered these PUA websites and the like, I had NEVER been on a date. Women constantly rejected me. Even my friends determined I would never be with an attractive woman romantically.

Now, even when I'm getting a decent smattering of women in my life, I still take women very personally. Every woman I date, hook up with, etc, I want her to think of me as one of the best things to ever happen in her life. It's gotten to where it's not enough to just "have done it"...I want prestige. I want to be the guy all the women want.

Like I said in another thread, even if we break up, I want to see her 5 years down the road with her husband, and have her look at me with those eyes like, "I wish he was you". I cannot stand the thought of being expendable to a woman...it REALLY cuts me to find out that a woman I've been dating and am really starting to like has just broken contact because "they've found someone they like better".

I can't help but think that when a girl responds to me with anything less than interest and enthusiasm, it's an indicator that I've failed somehow...that there's something I haven't grasped yet about "the game". I feel like when that crap happens, I'm somehow getting "played". And it's hard for me to think of myself as "the great catch" when I seem to be on the "catch and release" program for women.

Does it indicate something wrong with ME for me to feel this way? Is it wrong for me to want to dominate women's thoughts and feelings like that? To outclass every other male out there and have all the women, especially the one I select, feel privileged to be with me?

Does this somehow indicate a lack of self-esteem? Am I putting too much focus on what THEY think?

 

[Nighthawk]

How would you rate yourself in bed?

 

[squirrels]

How would you rate yourself in bed?

I consider myself VERY strong in the arena of foreplay. I know how to get a girl turned on...I've had women tell me before we even made it to 2nd base that they KNOW I'd be great in bed. My stamina with actual intercourse is usually questionable until I become comfortable with the woman...then I can hold on pretty well. I usually make up for it by getting her "close" with oral or manual stimulation first, which I am also VERY good at.

Actually, most of the girls who have "gotten away from me" lately are the ones that I HAVEN'T actually f**ked.

 

[thissucks003]

I can't help but think that when a girl responds to me with anything less than interest and enthusiasm, it's an indicator that I've failed somehow...that there's something I haven't grasped yet about "the game".

A lot here to comment on that I didn't highlight.

But before I do that, the one that stands out in this thread and the other one that commented on is that you seem stuck in that past mentality of your past failures. No offense, but that somehow screams out at me. It's like you still have to prove to your friends they are all wrong. You have nothing to prove to anybody. Stop trying to make up what you didn't have then now because it comes off as being desperate.

Now to comment on your above quote:

The one thing that has killed me in my interactions is that I didn't connect with them. The one thing that I have been working on and still am working on is to connect with them emotionally. I am not talking baby talk. I am talking about using the Juggler method to connect emotionally to them. And for a person that hasn't ever put themself out there, it has been damnn hard for me to do. I read his book and read Social hitchhiker's blog. I understand the concept but for whatever reason, when the opportunity presented itself after the fact, I would slap myself for missing the opportunity. I am not sure if it is a mental block or like I am being caught in the headlight of a car and not being able to move.

That is the one thing I notice that when I felt I had a really good interaction and it just fizzled out. I look back and noticed that I didn't connect with them. I feel that maybe you are falling into the same boat. You are connecting with them phyiscally but not emotionally.

TS

 

[drZaius09]

This has nothing to do with sexual prowess. I for one have a magnificent ability in that field. I'm rough and aggressive without being abusive. I have above average length and girth, and I always outlast the girl. In fact, she's usually completely dried-out before I even have a chance to finish. When it's over you'll usually find them laid-out on the bed panting for air and barely able to move. Of course, you have to sleep with a lot of women to reach that level, which I have.

But despite this, I feel like I could've written every post Squirrels has made over the past few days. There was one post in another thread that was so familiar to me, I thought maybe I had stolen squirrels password and posted it myself.

I can only believe that this is more related to the unlimited pool of options available at every semi-attractive woman's fingertips. I dont think any of you realize the incredible scope of partners that are available to any woman at any given time. No matter how good you are (or think you are), they have the numbers and they have all the advantages. So instead of playing their game (and losing and then posting about it), we need to play our own game. We have to find contentment with our own lives regardless of how many women we date, or screw, or who flake on us.

 

[squirrels]

Zaius, I agree. It seems like women who can get male affection take it lightly...each male is considered replaceable. For lesser women, just a man in touch with his urges is enough...someone willing to step up and f**k them. But hot girls get enough of that...to the point where it holds little value.

So what do we need to have to become unique?

Personally, I think it's HUMANITY that extremely attractive women need (and lack). They've been treated like goddesses all their lives, when the reality is they're just like any other girl...except they lucked out in the gene pool.

Most men don't understand that and probably think like I've been thinking...that losing this girl would be a BIG DEAL, ego-wise, and they have to be EXTRA-good to hang on to her. The guys they end up with are always those that are easy-going, the ones that everyone finds it easy to get along with, who will take your friendship if you offer it but can leave it just as easily.

I guess I need to stop treating women like the destination and more like companions on the journey. I'm focusing too much on being the god who deserves the angel, and not enough on the fact that the "angel" isn't really an angel at all...just another human like me. That's what's missing.

I think it's the very attitude that drives me so hard to succeed with women that causes me to fail with them...at least with the top-tier ones. It's hard to treat people like their personal opinions of you don't matter, especially people who, for whatever reason, are in high demand socially.

I was smarter when I was a keyboard jockey.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=66086&highlight=ego

Applying is always a lot harder than knowing. I guess I just need to get over myself and start projecting from within instead of trying to satisfy the projection from without. Hell, I'm a good enough guy, and I'm only getting better, so if Hottie McHoterson can't appreciate that, she's better off with someone else. Oh well...it's all as it's supposed to be. There's nothing "special" about her...she's just another girl. And mine's coming.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

...that losing this girl would be a BIG DEAL, ego-wise, and they have to be EXTRA-good to hang on to her.

That's a good point. Most of the time I qualify women by gauging the reaction of friends and family when they see her on my arm. "Wow, she's HOT!"--big ego boost.

I feel like I could've written every post Squirrels has made over the past few days.

So do I.