"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Do I need to change my approach?

Buddhistguy

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Just looking for a bit of advice regarding dating strategies.

Because of a previous job I held, I get a lot of invitations to red carpet movie premieres, stage show opening nights and so on. These invitations usually allow me to bring a partner. In the past, I have used these invitations as opportunities to invite women out, on the basis that I thought they would be impressive to the women. as well as being a cheap night out for me :)

However, after awhile I noticed that I rarely was succesful after taking a girl out to one of these functions. On the other hand, when I took a girl out for a casual night out at a local restaurant or for a coffee, I did get a lot more interest.

I was just wondering whether I should stop inviting women out to these functions? Does anyone have any theories on why inviting women out to these events would be less successful, when logically it should be just as more more successful? I thought that it may be that inviting a woman out to such a big event on a first or second date may seem too supplicating - Does that sound logical to anyone? Should I change the way in which I invite women out to these events?

Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Wiesman44

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I really think it depends on how long you've known this girl. Bringing her to one of those places as a first date is a horrible idea, as u want a chance to get to know each other. Now if u've been on one or two dates with the girl, I think bringing her to a red carpet movie premiere would be a great idea.


thats just my 2 cents. Take it with a grain of salt as I've never had experience with what you are talking about.
 

SamePendo

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You'd better take your sister, or friend, or mom, someone who deserves it. Not some random attractive woman.

As the wise dude said, you want to get to know her, not to impress her.
 

Buddhistguy

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Thanks for the input so far guys.

I am a little confused though - I thoguht that this sort of thing made great social proof, especially when I get a chance to introduce my date to people like Charlize Theron. Johnny Knoxville etc.

Any theories on why it hasn't worked out like this? Is it rushing things too early? Taking too much focus off myself, and onto everything else that is happening around us?
 

DJStudent

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My take on it is that this isn't really a good idea for a first date. The thing is the enviroment is so out of their confort zone that they don't know how to react. There maybe be too many things going on for her to enjoy. I don't think it has anything to do with social proof at that point. Taking her to a restaurant or somewhere and having people greet you is what social proof is about; no matter where you go.

Another thing is that if you do ask a girl that are you interested. Make sure that she's into where ever it is that you're going.

Good Luck.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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