Do I move on or try make friends?

[R1ch4rd]

1. Started intereaction with girl. She interested, she always initaites convo, everything went good. Talked about sex, she was a bit of a red flag she is really up for it, but still a nice pretty normal chick.

2. Say shes meeting another boy, i said you have to meet me first or before, I'm not doing "sloppy seconds"

3. she changes day but is a bit cold when talking to me, we set another day for me come round friday. i said i would call to finalize plans

4. i call her twice no answer. She comes on msn and i was like "don't answer phones then" she was like it's charging. I talked about me coming over and then she said her mum says she has to stay in revise, work hard for exams and that(it was the truth) I was like im not waitin around 3 weeks doing msn conversations, the other guy might but i'm not, we need to meet. She was like "it's not my fault!! and but it might change" I was just like no really.

5. I continued talking and then hinted me coming round when shes free, but she was unsure, i got the answer that it was because she likes that other boy aswell and didn't want to play two boys(even though she has really) she got pretty upset, then she slowly begin to show that she never had interest in me and that i was "GREAT person only" what was total and utter bull****, the things she said and done on facebook she can't deny.Saying she didn't want to meet with anyone because the "other" boy will find it. She began slipping up contradicting herself a bit. mostly last of all she said I've liked "comb over chump" more than you(bit understandable seeming i've been gettin serious with her and not getting "close" like the other guy)

6. She said lets not argue and lets be friends. I was like you i set out for something other than friendship(she knows this) and i was like am i just going to swalloe my pride and be friends, especially if your going out with the other guy. Then she went offline, in response or she had to I'm not sure.

Next move. I'm tempted to move, but being friends and meeting up and then building that attraction again?

 

[Igetit!]

Next move. I'm tempted to move, but being friends and meeting up and then building that attraction again?

Build "that attraction again"? What makes you think you ever built in the first place?

This girl has shown all the classic signs of disinterest. It's just like I said in your other thread...you can't bully or ultimatum a woman into attraction.

Plus,(like I said before)you unintentionally put her in the power position,put yourself at her mercy. That doesn't work. Women aren't attracted to men they have power over. Instead of trying to get her to see you by trying to make her choose on the spot,you should have gave her the impression that YOU were losing interest. This way,she would have been motivated to pursue YOU out of fear of losing you.
Instead,you tried to badger into choosing you over the other guy.

Apparently it didn't work.

Your next move? Well in my opinion,if you're still interested in her,you'll have to play hardball. And I don't mean just for her,this'll be difficult for you too..

First of all,go no contact. NONE. ABSOLUTE ZERO CONTACT.

The best way to do this is simply to keep yourself occupied with other things...school,friends,family,hobbies,other girls.

NO CONTACT Rich4rd.

Who knows,maybe you'll meet another girl who you like and who likes you.

Do the no contact thing for at least 2 weeks,longer if you can. My guess is that she'll probably contact you before that time is up. Now let's say you do this,and she does contact you. In that case,DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOU TWO MEETING UP.

Talk with her,ask her how she's doing,what she's been up to,etc....BUT don't say anything about you two meeting up.

What'll happen is she'll "notice" that you seem different,almost as if you no longer care about having a date with her. Then she'll wonder...why?
What's happened to you in the last two weeks? Are you still interested in her? Did you meet someone else? What's the deal?

At that point,more than likely,she'll suggest you two possibly meeting up. If that happens,NOW LISTEN TO THIS,DO NOT AGREE TO IT.

That's right,you heard me. Do not agree to meeting her. When you do is you reluctantly agree to a date. If she asks you about you two meeting up sometime,you respond with something like,"Well...umm...well to be honest,I'm really going to be kind of busy over the next few days. I had planned on going to (wherever) on (whatever day),BUT I'm only going to be up there for like an hour or two. You can come along if you want,but if not,it'll probably be a while before I'm free again".

This way,you're in control,you have the power. You're not sitting around waiting for HER to choose between you and some other guy. You let her know what the deal was,and if she decides not to take it,she probably won't have another opportunity for it anytime soon,or ever for that matter.

She's FAR more likely to choose to see you in this scenario,rather than you saying to her,"Alright,you got to make a decision. It's either me or him! Sorry honey,life's not fair. Make a decision!".

Again man,it's just my opinion,just my take on the situation.

 

[jeffthechef]

i was too lazy to read igetit's post...but i did read one line and it said do not meet up with her...

here's what i'm thinking..
1. You have oneitis for her.
2. That oneitis has caused you to be too emotional and demanding.
3. If she was genuinely interested in you at the beginning as you believe you were, then her losing interest was a result of your actions.
4. I wouldn't pursue her now or for quite a while. You have to get over your oneitis for her first...and you'll believe you're over her before you really are so you can pursue her...but just so you can estimate, it took me about 3-5 months until i was able to really get over her...surprisingly, after i got over my oneitis, i didn't want her anymore haha..
5. Don't be a **** to her cause she might influence your future with other girls...but don't be her best friend...basically, this is how i would intereact iwth her

Keep conversations brief...don't give her too much information or detail about anything...don't be too interested in her life...and convey yourself as a happier person without her...OF COURSE, you shouldn't have to fake anything...your life should be better, you should be less interesteed in her..

this leaves it on a neutral level...you should pursue other girls..and she will do one of two things..

1. She'll continue having weak conversations=just friends
2. She'll confront you about your disinterest in her=she's confused=she might be interested

Number 2 really depends on how well you follow my tips...cuase if you come off as a ****, then she's actually confronting you about being a ****...but if you're the happy guy that has little time for her...then she might be interested

go for other girls...you might reallize she's not as great as you think she is...often guys are more interested in girls simply because they might be interested in them...

 

[R1ch4rd]

two very deep posts thanks guys.

I believe i've dismissed most attraction, until a nothing maybe. I will take you both up on that advice. I not sure if she start speaking to me again. i have to wait and see.
There is another girl, but like always im leaving things to late to do anything. I want to t on the date on the phone but im always drawn to msna nd text purely because if she doesnt pick up i will look bad.