I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I'm 5'8" and around 130lbs bro.what is your weight/height
I live in PA, yeah I feel like I've been overlooked and nexted bc I'm skinny. The haircut some people have told me to style it upward and short on the sides What do you think about that?That is really skinny. You need to start working out and eating more, especially lots of protein.
Get a nice haircut, buy some tight fitting dress shirts. Get something modern but sharp, maybe slightly spiky (the way i like it) or kind of brushed to the side (the way hollywood seems to do it lately). But don't get a dress shirt that's too tight, or you're gonna look like a walking skeleton.
Get some more sun, where do you live?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Do you think it would make me a lot more attractive if I was to bulk up?You definitely do NOT look bad. IMO you are attractive but you do look young.
Idk how skinny you are but I trust that @bradd80 is assessing that correctly. If you are a bit on the thin side, consider paying attention to diet and exercise and bulking up. We females do like our men to have some build to them.
I think it would make YOU feel a lot more attractive, which would mean that you would exude confidence and be a lot more attractive.Do you think it would make me a lot more attractive if I was to bulk up?
I feel you on the haircut bro for sure. About the lifting and gaining muscle how exactly do you feel that it makes picking up the b*tches easier? How does it affect game and how they are with you?Yup sounds good thats how i do it and i get hot b*tches
Just make sure it's a messy spiky haircut to get that bad boy look. If you have a good job and make good money this will be an absolute killer combo trust me. If you dont have a killer career just fake it till you make it ("ie yea im premed"). Make sure it's messy spiky if it's too straight you will look even younger than you do now. As for your physique, it wont change overnight but i'd STRONGLY recommend you start lifting weights now.. makes picking up girls so much easier. You will thank me later![]()
- Start working out and add more muscle to the point where you can take shirtless pics, send them to women, and they say you have a nice body.I feel you on the haircut bro for sure. About the lifting and gaining muscle how exactly do you feel that it makes picking up the b*tches easier? How does it affect game and how they are with you?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
No I'm dead ass serious, what I'm saying is I've heard people say that some girls would be completely into you just bc of your physique and others say it gets your foot in the door but you still need game with them.I wasnt sure before but clearly you're trolling me. You cannot seriously be asking me how looking more fit and muscular is gonna help you get girls.
Yeah I'm pretty skinny and scrawny right now, as I've tried asking before how do you think adding muscle would help? What I mean is, would girls approach me bc they find me attractive, would they try to carry the convo more,I've heard some ppl say you don't need to talk as much and have as much game bc they're physically into you and wanna fvck and I'm not even just talking drunk sloots, all types of girls how would it change? I'm trying to improve with game too like openers and flirting stuff like that but also ppl have said that game necessarily would change and the things I say now would be taken a lot differently if I go from skinny and scrawny guy to "lean and muscular hot guy"- Start working out and add more muscle to the point where you can take shirtless pics, send them to women, and they say you have a nice body.
- Maybe change the hair style, you could even change your eye color.
- Find a clothing style that works for you.
- Get your finances together (if they aren't already) to where you have your own place, own car, and aren't living paycheck to paycheck.
- From there, make sure you are approaching/meeting at least 20 women per week. From those 20 women, you get 6 numbers, go on 3 dates, and fvck 1 of them. Those numbers will IMPROVE over time as you continue to be around women, develop your own personalized "style", etc.
But you aren't starting off from a bad place.
lmao I'm just looking for advice brahBro... u lame as hell for making this thread lol
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Thanks and I'm honestly not trolling, I agree totally that I could up my confidence. I feel like I majority of the time have been passed on bc I'm pretty skinny I don't know if it shows as much in the pics but I am for sure. I've often been told I look very young and that sucks, I'd love to change that and I've heard getting bigger would help that too. I've seen some guys that are more lean with muscle and to me it seems they have a much easier time. I'd love to improve My flirting and conversation skills with girls, most of the time I feel like I don't know what to say or how to keep the convo going, sometimes I feel that I'm not funny enough or whatever it could possibly be.Listen. I do not know how old you are but you have an attractive face, good hair, good skin & you are photogenic. You are trim rather than overweight. That's a lot more going for you than many men have. So be thankful for good genetics, because you got good genetics.
I agree if you wanted to improve, get some gel and get that sorta tousled spiky look. That would look very good on you.
Working out will help you build definition. So would playing some pick up soccer. I'm a chick and think bulk for the sake of bulk is seriously overrated but definition is certainly sexy. You could get definition rapidly if you were to start lifting. If you are going to start eating lots more, be certain you work out. You are trim now, don't just start eating without working out or you'll get skinny fat. Skinny fat is not sexy.
But you look fine as far as looks go for the most part already. The issue I see is more one of your attitude. If you are here wanting to know whether or not you look OK then it means you are either insecure, self-absorbed (meaning thinking everyone else is looking askance at you and seeing some defect YOU see in yourself - not true by the way-), or trolling for attention; perhaps some combination of the 3.
Work on your self confidence. How do I do that you ask? Look people in the eye when you speak to them, say hello to strangers on the street or on campus, smile at people...smile like you know something funny that other people wouldn't want you to know (have fun thinking up what that might be)...Do social things more, get out and interact with people. Use Meetup and find some cool groups who are interested in things you like and go meet people. Nobody is going to bite you. So many people make the mistake of thinking other people are seeing all the flaws they see in themselves. This is NOT TRUE. Most everybody else is too wrapped up in what other people think about them and their perceived flaws to be worrying about you. You are just another human being...and other people worry about what you think of them too.
There are lots of threads here on SS to help you develop your attitude and your confidence. Utilize the search function. Just remember we are all human and have stinky farts. Even the hottest girl you have ever seen.
I've thought recently that I may actually have low testosterone and I'm supposed to be going to see a doctor on Tuesday to get that figured out. I'm hoping that it's not it bc I've heard it has some dangerous effects. People have told me that it would make a big difference with me if I had it and get it resolved to have more testosterone.Well the blessing (and right now you won't see it this way) of a "baby face" is that you will look amazing as you get older. You'll look amazing when you are much older in fact, into your 40s and older. That's the thing about great genetics. It means you will age well assuming you do not trash your body out on drugs or something idiotic. By all means don't do that.
That doesn't address what you perceive as your problem however. If you are getting rejection about how young you look, come up with a means to address that objection right out of the gate. This is where attitude is everything. If you have a response you can deliver well and play with you'll acknowledge that you are youthful looking and display confidence in spite of it. You could say, "Oh, well you know the old men with the Speedos and the wrinkles...they went to bed already" and SMILE...something like that. Something a little snarky and a little ****sure.
There is a book, written by a once socially awkward engineer, called "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine. This book will teach you all kinds of things to say, and how to carry/continue a conversation. So much of conversation is just to be curious about the other person. If you get them chatting about themselves by asking a few questions, you'll suddenly be a brilliant conversationalist without having to say much at all! Awesome!
Another good book is "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. The diction of the language is somewhat archaic but the message about how to relate to others is timeless.
Do you work in retail? Sales helps with figuring out what people want and may help with situational conversation calibration.I'd love to improve My flirting and conversation skills with girls, most of the time I feel like I don't know what to say or how to keep the convo going, sometimes I feel that I'm not funny enough or whatever it could possibly be.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.