Do I have to "rush" first dates?

[AlmostThere!]

Getting rejected by a girl I just met doesn't bother me as much. But I'm still having trouble dealing with girls that seem to have interest, but nothing ever happens. I text a girl earlier and she said she'll call later but no call. Why did she respond to my text so quickly, or even respond at all? It seems like I can't figure this stuff out.

I don't know how to meet a girl, and keep her interest high enough to hang out with her again.

I feel myself going backwards but I need to fight it!

 

[AlmostThere!]

When I say rush, I mean instadates...within 24 hours instead of a week?

 

[SoldMySoul]

What's your hurry? Why are you trying to rush things? You are looking desperate and would be better allowing things to progress a comfortable pace for her and more importantly you. Give her a little build up and then after a decent amount of time (week or so) then do a first date.

I have shot myself down before I even started doing this sort of thing in the past. Slow down and relax.

 

[Kal0051]

No you don't have to do a instadate. If your initial interaction went well then wait a few days, call her and ask her out. Don't wait weeks to ask her out but it's more than possible she'll still be interested in a week or 2 if she was interested after your meeting. My guess though is that none of these women were that interested in you, hence the flaking. It takes time dude, it's been what, less than a week since you met these women?

 

[AlmostThere!]

No you don't have to do a instadate. If your initial interaction went well then wait a few days, call her and ask her out. Don't wait weeks to ask her out but it's more than possible she'll still be interested in a week or 2 if she was interested after your meeting. My guess though is that none of these women were that interested in you, hence the flaking. It takes time dude, it's been what, less than a week since you met these women?

I normally wait a few days and ask them out which would be about a week since we met. I have been doing this all my life but it seems the interest is lost during this time. That's why I was wondering if a quick date is better.

 

[Commandante]

To AlmostThere!:

You start a thread. You get answers. You don´t like them. You start an other thread...

You really think nobody remembers what you have written 24 hours ago? Wouldn´t it be easier to stop lying to yourself and stop starting every day a new thread?

You want to rush a date? Let´s see how you do that:

You are talking to the girl on the phone and waiting for her setting up a date.
Guess what! Nothing happens!

You call a girl during working hours and she can´t pick it up. You end up texting.
Guess what! Nothing happens!

You text a girl instead of calling her.
Guess what! Nothing happens!

You are waiting for the girls call for setting up a date.
Guess what! Nothing happens!

Do you see the common point? No, it´s not the "nothing happens". It is the fact that you aren´t doing anything for a date, only waiting. For what? Godot?

If I were you I would set a rule like this:

> From now on 30 days long I just don´t text. Nobody, under any circumstances. I will end all my phone calls with a sentence like this: "I will call you on Friday afternoon. It´s OK for you?" If I make a call and she doesn´t pick it up, i will try to call her the same day later. If she doesn´t pick it up again, I will forget her. She will get in touch with me if she wants something from me."

Believe me, your life would be much more easier.

 

[AlmostThere!]

I make new threads because it's my quirky way of keeping my thoughts straight.

A guy I know says that I'm not getting any girls because I show them interest.

How do I meet a girl without showing interest? Hey, I came over to chat with you because I'm not interested.

How do you call a girl and invite her out without showing interest? Hey, do you wanna meet Friday at 6 because I'm not interested in you?

Once I understand this concept...the concept of being a man and getting a date without showing interest, I can at least can play this part of the game.

The way this guy made it seem, once you show a girl you're interested, she loses interest. It's like a contradiction...a man should make all the plans but that's showing interest. He shouldn't sit back and wait for her.

 

[Schwank]

You created a "thank-you" thread only hours ago, praising everyone's advice and telling others not to give up hope. Now only hours later, you feel that you're "going backwards". So it looks like you jumped the gun a bit, huh?

You said you met these girls at some "speed dating" gig, right? Well perhaps they were a little overeager and on reflection realised that they're not for you. This happens. Don't get all defeatist because these girls won't follow through with their plans. Besides, you've only got the numbers of two different chicks. With only two cards in your deck it's going be extremely fortunate to have them an Ace and a Ten, if you get my drift.

Don't pine over these failures. (Yes, they seem like failures. If a girl cancels but has genuine interest she will reschedule. Sorry, but that's the truth.) Get back on the horse and continue to ride. It really is a numbers game. And the more numbers you have, the greater the chance of success.

 

[AlmostThere!]

You created a "thank-you" thread only hours ago, praising everyone's advice and telling others not to give up hope. Now only hours later, you feel that you're "going backwards". So it looks like you jumped the gun a bit, huh?

You said you met these girls at some "speed dating" gig, right? Well perhaps they were a little overeager and on reflection realised that they're not for you. This happens. Don't get all defeatist because these girls won't follow through with their plans. Besides, you've only got the numbers of two different chicks. With only two cards in your deck it's going be extremely fortunate to have them an Ace and a Ten, if you get my drift.

Don't pine over these failures. (Yes, they seem like failures. If a girl cancels but has genuine interest she will reschedule. Sorry, but that's the truth.) Get back on the horse and continue to ride. It really is a numbers game. And the more numbers you have, the greater the chance of success.

Any tips on keeping track of everything girls tell you? If I have like 5 or 6 girls I'm talking to...it's very possible I may forget Girl 1 is the dancer, not Girl 2. What's a good amount of plates a guy should spin?

I'm not going to ****ing worry about these two girls. I proven to myself girls are willing to talk with me to an extent. Now I have to work on becoming more memorable in their minds when we first meet, so they'll want to experience those emotions again.

I'm going out tomorrow night to a club...practice my game there.

 

[Kal0051]

I'm not going to ****ing worry about these two girls.

that's good, because they aren't interested at all. If you keep worrying about them you'll go insane. Good luck at the clubs. Just go with zero expectations other than having fun.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Getting rejected by a girl I just met doesn't bother me as much. But I'm still having trouble dealing with girls that seem to have interest, but nothing ever happens. I text a girl earlier and she said she'll call later but no call. Why did she respond to my text so quickly, or even respond at all? It seems like I can't figure this stuff out.

I don't know how to meet a girl, and keep her interest high enough to hang out with her again.

I feel myself going backwards but I need to fight it!

Steps to get a date:

#1 - Get number or email, or whichever method of communication you like to use.

#2 - Don't spend much time texting or talking to her. Your goal is the date.
When you want to set up a date, YOU call. If she doesn't pick up, leave a message.

Say "quit playing hard to get and call me back."

#3 - If she doesn't respond, depending on how well you know her, call again after a week. If you just met her and didn't spend a lot of time in comfort, my advice is that you should call back after 3-5 days.

Don't call any more than 2 times; you're not needy.

Oh, and if you call without leaving a message, she'll just get a missed call.
Honestly, how often do you call people back when they don't leave messages?

#4 - Regarding texting, limit your conversations, unless they have a good sexual/romantic vibe going.


If you're going out to clubs, I REALLY suggest that you read Magic Bullets. You will find a lot of very useful information in there and you'll have a better understanding of how the process works.

You will also hopefully gain further interest on how to attract women/keep their interest level high.