I have the same exact problem you have. And as other posters have mentioned, it tends to drive everyone away from you, male and female. Personally I have yet to get around it so I totally feel where you're coming from; being thought of as a jerk when you're just minding your own business or behave unintentionally sucks.
As such I recommend you watch your behavior. Although you're being confident, you may be phrasing questions too bluntly or have a squinting problem with your eyes as you speak or ask questions (I have that and try to constantly control it as it looks like anger/distrust). Also look at yourself, if you're attractive then the effects of intimidation multiplies as attractive people automatically put both genders at a weird edginess.
I know it's unfair and that others are totally misjudging you, but I've learned that if everyone else has a problem then I'm left with no choice but to change myself. Again I emphasize that it's something you do physically or verbally that's putting people against you. Ask a friend to tell you bluntly why someone would think you're (a) arrogant (b) mean (c) domineering or (d) ****y.
I recommend those words as my _mother_ of all people described me as that when I innocently asked her why others would think I'm intimidating (which is nuts as I'm rather skinny). All of those words she associated with my posture ("you look arrogant"), tone of voice ("you sound mean"), gaze ( "the way you look at me/others is domineering"), and other stuff I'd rather not recollect (basically "you're a jerk but I guess I have to love you").
As such I recommend you watch your behavior. Although you're being confident, you may be phrasing questions too bluntly or have a squinting problem with your eyes as you speak or ask questions (I have that and try to constantly control it as it looks like anger/distrust). Also look at yourself, if you're attractive then the effects of intimidation multiplies as attractive people automatically put both genders at a weird edginess.
I know it's unfair and that others are totally misjudging you, but I've learned that if everyone else has a problem then I'm left with no choice but to change myself. Again I emphasize that it's something you do physically or verbally that's putting people against you. Ask a friend to tell you bluntly why someone would think you're (a) arrogant (b) mean (c) domineering or (d) ****y.
I recommend those words as my _mother_ of all people described me as that when I innocently asked her why others would think I'm intimidating (which is nuts as I'm rather skinny). All of those words she associated with my posture ("you look arrogant"), tone of voice ("you sound mean"), gaze ( "the way you look at me/others is domineering"), and other stuff I'd rather not recollect (basically "you're a jerk but I guess I have to love you").