Do I have an Intense and Intimidating Gaze?

[jakethasnake]

An interesting question for you.



It seems that when I am in a business/formal or even casual social situation, my gaze seems to intimidate people, or maybe give others the vibe that I'm challenging them (I get that particular reaction the most from large physiqued, "manly" men). A lot of the time the men either shy away and get very nervous, or puff up their chest in 'retaliation', and seem almost belligerent.



I don't get it, because all I'm trying to do on my part is just be assertive and confident. It's not my intention to make people feel threatened or intimidated. What do you think is going on? I'm baffled.

 

[jakethasnake]

What? Y'all never have had this happen? I find that I don't intimidate the confident ones, but they are few and far between. I think that a lot of people react with trepidation around a confident guy.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Men don't get intimidated by other men unless they are insecure in their manhood. A man has more than his physique, it could be his powerful position or money or intelligence that intimidate others.

For example it is only the man without money who is intimidated by men with money; it is the ignorant that fear the intelligent, and it is the powerless who are afraid of the powerful, and it is the physically weak who fear the physically strong. It is the average looking men who are intimidated by those considered more handsome

In all these scenarios harm could be done to the weaker party from the stronger party - it all relates to the insecurity of the 'weaker' or 'perceived' inferiority of the iindividual!

 

[il_duce]

This happens to me sometimes. I almost feel bad because I might intimidate some random dude/chick when I was really just trying to be assertive or friendly, like you said.

I've noticed that other men tend to be a little more belligerent in situations with alcohol involved. Many times in bars and such I will get a lot of body language that is almost threatening. Such is also the case with men who are physically larger than me. They will usually give me a "Who the **** do you think you are?" kind of look. But with less confident men (and most women), they usually shy away from me.

Why does this happen? My guess is just that it's a natural part of life. There are those of us who are dominant, and those who are not. That's how nature has to work. Survival of the fittest.

Here is my take on the whole subject:

By natural instinct, confident and assertive body language speaks differently to the men and women in your vicinity. To the men, it says, "I'm a strong male, don't **** with me and my personal space." It gives off an agressive, somewhat negative vibe.

To the women, it says, "I'm a strong male and I will make a good protector for your offspring. Hence, I am a good lay." It also gives off an agressive vibe, but it is more of a positive one.

Unless you start to display less confident body language, you will always be sending these types of messages to those around you. You can't prevent others from being intimidated by you, but what you can do is at least try to be friendly with them.

The same goes for those who seem like they want to challenge you. All you need to do is talk to them and show that you don't want to fight them. Show them that you're not "dangerous". Now, isn't that one of the things we need to do to snag a chick? Yes, it is. Getting along with guys works on the same principle. If you attempt to get to know them, it will show that you are not a dangerous person, and I think this will help them feel more comfortable around you.

I know this to be true, because back in my AFC days, I used to be intimidated by some of the guys in my school. I even developed a hatred for them because of the fact that I was intimidated by them. But whenever I got to know them, I learned that some of them were actually pretty cool to be around.

Make an effort to be friendly with everybody, while still keeping your confident and assertive personality. People will still have mucho respect for you, and they will be drawn to you.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
An interesting question for you.

It seems that when I am in a business/formal or even casual social situation, my gaze seems to intimidate people, or maybe give others the vibe that I'm challenging them (I get that particular reaction the most from large physiqued, "manly" men). A lot of the time the men either shy away and get very nervous, or puff up their chest in 'retaliation', and seem almost belligerent.

I don't get it, because all I'm trying to do on my part is just be assertive and confident. It's not my intention to make people feel threatened or intimidated. What do you think is going on? I'm baffled.

Sorry, can't help ya very much. I don't spend time gazing at guys, nor do I intend to, but I do like to gaze at women. If a guy is gazing at me I assume he's either gay or sizing me up for one reason or another. Lots of fights start over "What are you looking at"? or "You gotta problem"? Some guys check out other guys in a bar to see who is drunk and will make an easy target in a fight or easy to roll outside the bar.

 

[jakethasnake]

You know what I mean, Crank It Up. No one gazes longingly at men, unless they are gay. I'm talking about passing glances and brief moments of eye-contact.

 

[ScrewIt]

that's quite true, intimidation, and confidence does get you respect, compared to the "nice guy" that says and does everything asked.

I wonder if intimidation can lead to one's downfall, if ur intimidating, who's gonna wanna come up and talk to you.
I know i can be quite intimidating at times, which leaves the "dont bug me" aura around me. or i can be friendly and talkative to everyone. it can be changed easily.

cause last year i was always intimidating and no one would dare start a convo with me or get to know me. last semester i was more friendly with everyone and smiling. but now this semester im somewhere in between. i guess maybe work/school/gym has gotten the best of me?

but yea i do know what you mean, less confident guys will sway away or not talk to you. and the more confident ones also may not bother talking to you or try to outcompete you for confidence.

and btw....at the beginning of the semester, there's this guy who kept giving occasional glances at me, who knows he might be gay. but he doesnt do that **** no more.

 

[Ebach]

ScrewIt, where you go to school? It could've been me. I don't glance, instead I give this confident gaze to people who think they are the ****. They usually can't keep the eye contact and back down.

There was this guy, could've been you, who taught he was the **** at the beginning of the semester being ****y and all, so I would give him this confident, "sit your ass down, " look and after a week or so he became quiet and moved to another seat.

Fake confidence makes me sick especially when you have to show off. I'm cool with being confident and knowing what you want as all of us DJs are trying to accomplish but when it's fake I just have to give you the crooked eye so you know to take a sit and shut the **** up.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Ebach
ScrewIt, where you go to school? It could've been me. I don't glance, instead I give this confident gaze to people who think they are the ****. They usually can't keep the eye contact and back down.

There was this guy, could've been you, who taught he was the **** at the beginning of the semester being ****y and all, so I would give him this confident, "sit your ass down, " look and after a week or so he became quiet and moved to another seat.

Fake confidence makes me sick especially when you have to show off. I'm cool with being confident and knowing what you want as all of us DJs are trying to accomplish but when it's fake I just have to give you the crooked eye so you know to take a sit and shut the **** up.

Man your tough.

 

[ScrewIt]

Ebach it's not you, the glances that guy gave were very gay, im sure he's gay. They were in no way confident gazes, but gay ones...indeed... but doesnt do that **** no more.
btw im from nyc.

 

[Sugarfoot]

Originally posted by Ebach
ScrewIt, where you go to school? It could've been me. I don't glance, instead I give this confident gaze to people who think they are the ****. They usually can't keep the eye contact and back down.

There was this guy, could've been you, who taught he was the **** at the beginning of the semester being ****y and all, so I would give him this confident, "sit your ass down, " look and after a week or so he became quiet and moved to another seat.

Fake confidence makes me sick especially when you have to show off. I'm cool with being confident and knowing what you want as all of us DJs are trying to accomplish but when it's fake I just have to give you the crooked eye so you know to take a sit and shut the **** up.

Anytime a guy 'gazes' at me, I assume he's gay, so I usually look away so as to not give him the impression that I "bat for his team."

I was never into that whole staredown garbage; it's such nonsense. I remember little 5'6" 150 pound shrimps always tried to do that to me in high school--they were tough , ha ha ha!

Some of the most dangerous asskickers in the world are also some of the most friendliest people in the world (at least the ones that I've met at UFC shows). They walk around as if everything is fine with the world--the only reason they would look at a stranger for any longer than a couple of seconds would be to give them a big smile and say hello.


TOOTLES™

 

[LuckyStrike]

Originally posted by Ebach
ScrewIt, where you go to school? It could've been me. I don't glance, instead I give this confident gaze to people who think they are the ****. They usually can't keep the eye contact and back down.

There was this guy, could've been you, who taught he was the **** at the beginning of the semester being ****y and all, so I would give him this confident, "sit your ass down, " look and after a week or so he became quiet and moved to another seat.

Fake confidence makes me sick especially when you have to show off. I'm cool with being confident and knowing what you want as all of us DJs are trying to accomplish but when it's fake I just have to give you the crooked eye so you know to take a sit and shut the **** up.

Oh sh*t, not the crooked eye!!!! Anything but that!!!!

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Men don't get intimidated by other men unless they are insecure in their manhood. A man has more than his physique, it could be his powerful position or money or intelligence that intimidate others.

For example it is only the man without money who is intimidated by men with money; it is the ignorant that fear the intelligent, and it is the powerless who are afraid of the powerful, and it is the physically weak who fear the physically strong. It is the average looking men who are intimidated by those considered more handsome

In all these scenarios harm could be done to the weaker party from the stronger party - it all relates to the insecurity of the 'weaker' or 'perceived' inferiority of the iindividual!

Thanks for the reply - very thoughtful, as always.

 

[Ebach]

Oh sh*t, not the crooked eye!!!! Anything but that!!!!

Oh yeah, you better believe it! You got eye crooked!

 

[DankNuggs]

For example it is only the man without money who is intimidated by men with money; it is the ignorant that fear the intelligent, and it is the powerless who are afraid of the powerful, and it is the physically weak who fear the physically strong. It is the average looking men who are intimidated by those considered more handsome
[/B]

This has to be one of the smarter things you've said in a while PRL, who did you rip it off of????

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Ebach
ScrewIt, where you go to school? It could've been me. I don't glance, instead I give this confident gaze to people who think they are the ****. They usually can't keep the eye contact and back down.

There was this guy, could've been you, who taught he was the **** at the beginning of the semester being ****y and all, so I would give him this confident, "sit your ass down, " look and after a week or so he became quiet and moved to another seat.

Fake confidence makes me sick especially when you have to show off. I'm cool with being confident and knowing what you want as all of us DJs are trying to accomplish but when it's fake I just have to give you the crooked eye so you know to take a sit and shut the **** up.

I'm so intimidated now, I had better stop reading this thread!!

 

[maranathaman]

Sorry but any guy who claims "I have an intense and intimidating gaze" is a "intensely ga....y" clown in MY book!

 

[Ebach]

I'm so intimidated now, I had better stop reading this thread!!

Sheesh! That easy?

Sorry but any guy who claims "I have an intense and intimidating gaze" is a "intensely ga....y" clown in MY book!

You think? What's the difference between gay and intensely gay? How do you know? Your book is all gayed up. Jeez! Work on your crooked eye!

 

[So Many Ways]

So you guys go around staring down other guys? What the **** for? Don't you realize in this day and age that can get you killed? What's the point? Ok, yeah, when I was 18 and didn't know better I mad dogged everyone but it didn't mean a damn thing, it didn't mean that I was confident at all. In fact I was quite insecure at the time so I wanted everyone to think I was hard.

I see people doing that now I just nod my head and walk on by. I just think trying to prove how "alpha" you are by staring people down is stupid and immature. I'm way too old for stupid **** like that.

 

[Ebach]

You serious? You MUST be old. Personally, I think you figured out you were gay so you stopped acting all tough and now you're the little ***** that you are.

How do you tell someone they're getting on your nerves without actually telling them anything? Say they're accross the room and people would think you're a loser if you yelled out some crazy **** to some punk kid.