Do I have a Chance or is she just being nice or playing games

[ericktorres68]

Ok so theres this chick that I was semi friends with. Ive been liking her for a while nd im sure she could tell nd shes hinted at me that shes not interested before but i decided to let her know how i was feeling anyways. I send a freaking essay preety much on fb telling her how i feel nd to let me talk to her more so i can make this work. It was long and corny lol but hey i was being real. All she said was "lets talk monday." so i said ok can you tell me what youre thinking first? nd she said "guess not much has changed" nd i said "-_-ok i get it...il leave you alone. thanks for reading my essay tho." ns she said "i liked your essay A+, nd just cause things havent changed doesnt mean i want you to leave me alone erick." i think she was just trying to be nice so i said "forgrt it. just dont let it be akward between us at school nd know il always be here for you." nd she said "aww i love u *nickname* no awkwardness promise."

So i thought that was it i moved on nd got over it(this was last sunday btw) and was doing fine until yesterday she decides to messege me on fb saying "we never went to the mall erick D:" - we were supposed to do this like a month ago but she made an excuse for not going.

anyways what do you think is going through her head if she knows how i feel nd she dont feel the same way back why would she try talking to me and hanging out again? does she like attention or do i have a genuine chancce? what should i do?


Ps: shes very preety nd very busy with school stuff, i dont think shes ever had a bf nd one of her friends has told me that if she likes a guy nd the guy likes her back she gets scared and runs away lol so keep this in mind. Were seniors in high school btw.

 

[ericktorres68]

cmon guys help me out asap!!

 

[ericktorres68]

its do or die for me !! anybodys help with be greatly appreciated!

 

[ericktorres68]

...

 

[ericktorres68]

yoo anybody?

 

[Pozitron]

Hi,man.
I won't comment on what you did , although is tempting.. because it is already done.

You're thinking too much.
Don't take this s*** too seriously. She's just a girl.

If it's what you want , go out with her. Don't plan some ****, just see how it goes.
Just be who you wanna be and if you think it's woth a shot then try to do something..like light touching.

Good luck.

 

[ericktorres68]

thanks man,

nd yea im not gonna worry about it i love who i am so im calm in that aspect. but do you think i should flirt with her i mean she messeged me nd should know its coming after what i told her. i just rather not talk to her than be stuck in the friendzone get me?

 

[Pozitron]

Don'y take this the wrong way.. but you don't know that now you're not.
That's why you have to go out , and see for yourself.
A good thing to test her interest with is kino also known as touching. Be subtle and make it light but try to use it as you see fit. Then watch how she reacts. She can't fake it. You'll know.. just use it smart cause it's powerful.

Yeah.. I get you. That's why I believe you would have been better of expressing interest trough actions. Cause yeah.. say you have told her you like her. Now what?
Be yourself, act naturaly and don't make it awkward.
If you wanna try something do it as if it is the most common, natural thing to do ( you get the point ).

It may seem much but don't go in there over thinking.
Don't be in you head.
If you would take only 1 thing from all of this and keep it in mind is : trust your gut / instincts.

Make it happen.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

She doesn't like you as more than a friend, but as time passed, she seems to have changed her mind. That's what I would think. People like people who like them.

Just go and have fun at the mall. Don't be a pvssy though. Just be yourself and not 'just a friend'.

Also, type properly if you want proper replies. You're a senior.

 

[BPH]

Yeah she fact that she remembered a really old date and hit you up about it, she's probably game as long as you don't pour your heart out like a p****. So yeah go for it.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Uhhh I don't know about this advice you're giving guys.

Seems to me like this girl has been leading you on as a way to get sustained attention and support from you, without having to return any. A cue for me that you buy into this frame is you saying that you'll "always be there for her" directly after she rejected you. I'm not an emotional safety net for girls that reject me, I hope you aren't either.

When she felt you going cold after the rejection, she felt she was losing her grip on a "good friend" (really a puppy dog to her) so she invites you out. She sees it as asserting the fact that she still wants to be friends. She may or may not realize that you could take it the wrong way.

BPH did make one good point just now, that pouring your heart out could have been a large part in making sure that things didn't work out. You're a senior in high school, long facebook messages are for freshmen and sophomores. In the future, be basic, physical and face to face. I disagree with him in that I think your chances are shot.

I hope you didn't take anything in this post as an attack on you personally. Move on bud.

EDIT: Woops! Didn't notice that you weren't close friends with her beforehand. That pokes a big hole in my theory. I'll still leave the post as is, because I think a lot of the things needed to be said. But hey, go out with her, what do you have to lose?

 

[SharinganUser]

You broke a cardinal rule, never tell a woman how you are feeling. I don't think this situation is salvageable, so just move on and find someone that is more awesome.

 

[BigSmooth]

Writing that letter on facebook was a huge mistake on your part.

However, what's done is done, so let's try to fix it up.


First of all, if you like someone, talk and interact with her with the mindset that she is also attracted to you. You're a man, and a man takes what he wants.

There are a lot of guys like you, especially in high school. Hell, I used to do some of the same stuff too. But, you want to improve yourself.


Ask her out casually; don't play the dweeb card and say "will you be my girlfriend". Ask her to see a new movie that came out, and say it like you mainly want to see the movie.

"Hey [enter name here], Paranormal Activity 3 just came out and I've been dieing to see that ****, I hear it's pretty awesome. Turns out a lot of girls I know are busy this weekend, you want to tag along with me? That's a yes? Sweet, I'll see ya then."

So you're thinking, what if she replies with: (Bold will be you)
"Oh, so you asked a lot of girls before me huh?
Oh yeah, they get scared easily. I figured you were a tough cookie.
------
I don't know, I kind of have plans this weekend.
So what are you doing this weekend?
I'm not sure yet but...
Well I do.
What?
I know what you're gonna do this weekend. You're coming to see PA3 with me, and you're gonna $h!t your pants because you're a baby. ;D
Oh I'm definitely not seeing it with you now, jerk.
But you're agreeing that you would $h!t your pants? You're nasty. Maybe I don't want to see it with you now that I think about it...
------
Are you asking me out?
Wasn't planning on it, are you desperate or something?
Well..I mean..no but...it just sounded like you were trying...to...
Let me warn you, I got standards. So if the first date doesn't meet my expectations, you're not getting into these pants. ;p
Wow...who said...anything about your pants?
They're irresistable. All the girls dig 'em. Speaking of girls, I'm going to meet a friend of mine now. It was nice seein ya, I'll see ya this weekend right? Yes? Awesome.

See what I mean?


The point is, she's just a girl. Don't dwell too much on it. Don't act confident. BE confident. Be the man, YOU lead HER. Don't let her actions or feelings bring you down.



~B-Smooth

 

[nickcaeb]

Never pour your heart out and always keep them thinking. In fact don’t say anything, if you ask her out and she says yes, fine. Don’t let any girl how you feel. Just have dates, try to get to first base, etc. Eventually, the girl will want to know how you feel and if there’s others. Girls know, most of the time, if the guy wants a date and wants to have sex, he like her. Guys should be the strong quiet types. It’s not until you get older and into a long-term relationship that the girl expects the guy to open up and get all emotional and ****.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

^ Disagree strongly (sick of typing entirely)

Don't tell a girl how you feel necessariyl but ALWAYS SHOW IT. Anything else is manipulation. Hiding your intentions to achieve a goal is manipulation plain and simple. IT is subverse. "To sleep with lots of girls you can either become a great MAN; or a great MANipulator" - Jeffy paraphrased.

I'd say, always pour your heart out as in have passion, but never, EVER get them thinking. Thinking=logic=past/future. You want the girl IN THE PRESENT. If not now, then when? vocalise whatever feels right from that core part of you that contains your instincts and wants to give the girl sex. The part that loves women. May take a while to feel it again, but stay at using that intent like a weapon...

 

[bluesparrow25]

in my opinion, as a 25 year old girl that finally knows the ins and outs of relationship and knows to keep up the fight or pack up ur bags, i can honestly say half the stuff theses guys been sayin is plainly just not right. the girl that your talking about she sounds like she is very smart she sounds like she really wants to keep your friendship that youve had for so long because she thinks your a great guy. but that doent mean she has not considered you as something more if shes the girl im thinking she is she wants a real relationship but when shes old enough to make that decision. me personally i made decisions way to early like that and it messed up my life i was a child walking the path of an adult way to early. its smart what shes doing and u too. she knows now and now u know shes knows you like her. if she was turned off to the fact of what u said over facebook u would know and she wouldnt talk to you but maby im thinking she just wants to keep u in her life to see where it goes just be yourself. trust me if she already liked u as a friend show more confidence in ur walk, flirt a little but not too much and diffidently do not be a jerk. a real woman does not like that trust me we need nice guys or our self esteem will go down and its just a big mess after that. and funny is the key if u can make a girl laugh 80% of the time ur golden. promise!!!

 

[DanZy]

Friendzoned hard. And @bluesparrow, most of that's bull****. @jack you don't need to always show your intentions entirely or at all, a little mystery causes interest

 

[Jack Wealthy]

To bluesparrow that is what courtship looks like from her end. She doesn't realise how many guys attempts at picking her up are just... stupid. She doesn't even factor in confidence because all the guys she interacts with are going to be confident, so it is assumed, if a guy isn't confident and talks to her she would think he isn't funny or is just being polite or something.

DanZy, can't think of a time that has worked for me long term. Temporarily not showing interest or your intentions is normal in most cases, but hiding intent for any significant period is useless. Anything more than micro-hidification is a negative.

 

[Thomas20]

It might sound a bit hard, but there is no use in being friendly instead of honest.

There is a quote I really like and it goes like this: "Don't bother with Ljbf, it never works, if a women isn't willing to get naked for you ... next".

That sums it up pretty decent. You are an Afc and you got Oneitis. The letter you wrote her is a typical action afcs do when they have Oneitis. Just read this thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18379 and see for yourself.

As with the girl, don't let yourself be brain****ed and don't listen to what she says.
The girl has NO interest in ever getting naked for you (at least since your letter). Just let it go. Don't do more Afc actions.

If you can't believe that, try the following, get her to be alone with you in private. Like your place. Put in a movie, (open a bottle of whine) and then touch her, smell her neck, kiss her etc.. ESCALATE until she really stops you. Then you got your answer.

Needless to say, I don't think she will even show up...

Good luck to you!

Maybe this helps also http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=80553