Do good women really exist?

[BadNews]

Hey guys, got some things I need to get off my chest. I recently got out of a an LTR. I've done this before, I know how to handle it, and I know that I'll be fine. But truth be told this one is by far the hardest I've had to deal with yet. Reason being is that I was "there," mentally I was prepared to live my life with this woman. I thought the world of her, had an insane connection with her, and generally was madly in love. Long story short, she ended the relationship a week ago.

I've since learned that she's been sleeping with her ex since the night after we broke up, and just last night had a ONS with a random. I guess the sad part right now is that I'm learning this girl isn't the person I thought she was. Perhaps I have been tricking myself, and making her out to be someone that she wasn't. But I really didn't think she was capable of behaving this way - I was wrong.

I'm feeling quite frustrated right now, because although she did have her flaws, she was (or at least I thought) what I want out of a woman long term. There are a lot of things I love about her that are going to make it very hard for any women I meet in the future to obtain any kind of commitment from me.

Most guys on this site are here because they just want to bang a bunch of hot broads. And I get it, that's fine. But I feel like I've been there done that. I know that I want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. A relationship where there is mutual respect and admiration. I want a wife, and a family; for me finding someone to have that with (genuinely have a good relationship with that can last a lifetime) is what I want out of life. I'm now becoming increasingly less hopeful that I will ever find someone to have this with.

The abrupt realization that my girlfriend for the past 2 years isn't the person I thought she was has rocked me. It has caused me to question if "good" women even exist anymore. We live in a time where people don't have any respect for themselves, their bodies, or the impact things may have on themselves/future partners and their lives. I realize there is often a double standard - but I am well aware that this happens across the board for men and women.

As I re-enter the field I find myself questioning if I should take a hard look at what I want out of life, and try to seek it honestly. Maybe banging a bunch of hot broads this time I'm single isn't what I should be doing. I'm very certain of what I want out of a partner, and I know it will be hard to find - even more so one that hasn't completely thrown her self respect to the wind at some point in her life.

I'm at the point where I have no faith in women, or humanity in general. I almost don't believe there are truly good women out there, and if there are it is quite likely that they will not fit into the standards that I would be willing to accept.

I guess my question is do you believe there are still good women out there? Is it even worth trying to pursue ? I have no trouble getting laid any day of the week if that is what I want. But now I want more, and I feel strongly that it will be next to impossible to find.

I have two options at this point that I see as realistic. I can try to be what I'm looking for (read: NOT sleep around) and spend some time, once I've gotten over this one, looking for someone I would actually want to spend my life with in an honest way. OR I could completely give up hope on that dream, and just "have fun." I honestly see being a bachelor forever as a feasible option at this point, and make sure to never keep a woman around for more than a couple months. I feel like the second option would be selling myself short, but as it stands right now I have little faith that I will ever be able to find someone to fit within the incredibly high standards I have.

Thoughts?

 

[Albatross953]

We've all had the one (or 7) in our life that wasn't the person you thought she was. My sweet little milf, who "wasn't ready for a physical relationship" right after my marriage failed....if she did a porn scene now I wouldn't be shocked.

It sounds like you have some good perspective. Give it time.

 

[No.Danny]

Of course there are. Just not many

 

[Tictac]

Few.

Worth it.

 

[exhausted]

I feel for you.

You sound like a good man.

I myself am as well and that is what makes it harder to accept and understand.

There are few good girls left in this world trying to find one will be excruciating.

Take time now to heal and carry yourself with humility and you will attract a positive person.

 

[Darth]

Answer: Yes.

 

[mangotot]

In a word, the answer is 'No'.

 

[skinnyguy]

This is why I don't make fun of gay people any more. They have it much better than I do.

 

[mangotot]

This is why I don't make fun of gay people any more. They have it much better than I do.

Sorry to hear your predicament. You should never make fun of people under any circumstance.

 

[amethyst]

It really depends where you are looking and what exactly you are looking for. It could be that you are looking in the wrong places or maybe some of the characteristics you find attractive have negative aspects as well.

But never settle for less, always go for more, or you will never feel truly satisfied.

Love,

Amethyst

 

[skinnyguy]

There are women with good personalities, but most of them are 200+ pounds...

 

[bigneil]

As much as you want to go back to how things were before, accept that this phase of the relationship is over forever.

Granted, she will come back within 30 days (it's called dump echo), but only in the following context:

Her: "Hi"
You: "Hi!"
Her: "Do you still want to have sex with me?"
You: "Sure!"
Her: "I was just checking."

Now, you can get her back for real in a few months, and it will be fulfilling at the time, but years later you will look back and realize things were never the same. Neither of you can truly respect eachother again, for different reasons.

That said, if you want her back, by all means improve yourself until her interest level truly increases. Then enjoy all the better women who will come along with that improvement.

Generally, when we get dumped, the more we hurt, the more we know we need to improve. It seems like the pain will last forever, but it only lasts for 9 months tops (hopefully a lot less). It's not over until one day you realize you are fantasizing about another woman. When you collect a harem of prospects, that will only take a few minutes.

 

[MartinARMT]

I'm feeling quite frustrated right now, because although she did have her flaws, she was (or at least I thought) what I want out of a woman long term. There are a lot of things I love about her that are going to make it very hard for any women I meet in the future to obtain any kind of commitment from me.

I am in no way an expert, but I want to share my feelings on what I've quoted above. When my ex wife split I had this exact same thought. I believe that this was actually the hardest part of her leaving to deal with. I thought I could never find another woman who was as good as my ex wife.

This line of thought is actually just false. There are approximately over 3 billion women in the world. It is just asinine to think that only 1 woman could have the qualities we look for in a significant other. Even in my own experience I have found out how wrong that thought was. In the last year I have dated girls that are far better than the person my ex wife was.

We shouldn't be scared that we will never meet someone as good. If anything we should worry that we will never find anyone because we are always searching for better.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I am in no way an expert, but I want to share my feelings on what I've quoted above. When my ex wife split I had this exact same thought. I believe that this was actually the hardest part of her leaving to deal with. I thought I could never find another woman who was as good as my ex wife.

This line of thought is actually just false. There are approximately over 3 billion women in the world. It is just asinine to think that only 1 woman could have the qualities we look for in a significant other. Even in my own experience I have found out how wrong that thought was. In the last year I have dated girls that are far better than the person my ex wife was.

We shouldn't be scared that we will never meet someone as good. If anything we should worry that we will never find anyone because we are always searching for better.

I agree with the above.

To clarify, it is not the fear of not finding similar qualities in another woman, rather the fact that the commitment shown was not reciprocated; the fear and uncertainty therefore lies in the subconscious condition of not being willing to set oneself in that position of vulnerability again.

There are good women. Many. The issue lies in the fact that, though many will argue the contrary, many women do not mature at the same rate nor to the same extent as do men. We must as ourselves - how many men seek the guidance of a maternal figure in a romantic relationship, compared with the proportion of women who seek the equivalent paternal guidance? Men on the whole are far more emotionally mature than women.

 

[rascal99v]

I have little faith that I will ever be able to find someone to fit within the incredibly high standards I have.

How can you say that when you settled for a low quality woman with flaws?

I thought the world of her, had an insane connection with her, and generally was madly in love. Long story short, she ended the relationship a week ago

So, you allowed yourself to be dumped which sounds like you were acting like a beta. :yes:

You can be frustrated with women all you want. If you're not pulling your weight being the dominant force in the relationship, the woman will get bored and look for other men. Guys that talk like you are, do too much praising of the woman, putting her on a pedestal even when she isn't that great. You admitted she had flaws and were making her out to be something that she wasn't. And I bet that she knew that as well. Don't ever do that with women. Never give them more value than they should have, that will make you act like a beta turning her off.

I've since learned that she's been sleeping with her ex since the night after we broke up, and just last night had a ONS with a random.

Of course she is going to sleep around, that's why she dumped you.

I guess the sad part right now is that I'm learning this girl isn't the person I thought she was. Perhaps I have been tricking myself, and making her out to be someone that she wasn't. But I really didn't think she was capable of behaving this way - I was wrong.


I'm feeling quite frustrated right now, because although she did have her flaws, she was (or at least I thought) what I want out of a woman long term. There are a lot of things I love about her that are going to make it very hard for any women I meet in the future to obtain any kind of commitment from me.

Any woman is capable of doing anything. When you have an idea in your head that she isn't capable, that's when you will get fvcked over just like you did.

I say this woman did you a big favor. She showed you her true colors before you got more heavily involved. Hell, you could have got engaged or even married her when she pulled this sh1t. At least you got out of it unscathed with only hurt feelings. I know guys who got cheated on when they got married, engaged, and even changed careers to suit the woman. Their lives got ruined and the women didn't care at all about what they did for them.

That's why I say not to worry about the woman's feelings. Because in the end, she is not going to give a sh1t about yours.

Then you have couple of posters who are always worried about the woman's feelings, they let the women screw them over, and just accept it as it is. That's pretty damn stupid if you ask me. :yes:

Did she give a sh1t about your feelings when she dumped you after you treated her well? Did she give a sh1t about your feelings when she was fvcking her ex boyfriend and some random dude? No, she did not, she let you go, and she is enjoying herself, while you hold resentment and are questioning women altogether.

It's your own fault for taking on a flawed woman expecting her to be a gem. What the hell did you expect?

Flawed women are notorious for being sh1tty partners in relationships. That's why you only fvck them and don't commit to them for serious relationships. Because they will end up doing what yours did, dump you and go fvck other men while you're left feeling foolish, confused and frustrated.

I am very picky about the women I choose for my relationships. I value my relationships and want them to have meaning and to be special. The women I deem as flawed with bad character traits, I only use as plates. And they are just fine with that, because they just want to get fvcked anyway. No way am I going to make them a priority, because they are not worth it. Hell, I even had chicks driving 2 hours or more to come over to get fvcked. I just used them as long distance plates. Other guys would commit to them and waste their time.

Too many guys jump into relationships and settle for the wrong woman without screening her properly before they commit. That sounds like what you did. When they have obvious flaws, see them for what they are. Don't try to change them or ignore them pretending they don't exist. You will always run into trouble that way. Also, don't try to make a flawed woman into a high value woman, you will pay the price for that like you did with yours

I guess my question is do you believe there are still good women out there? Is it even worth trying to pursue?

Of course there are. I have one myself and used to have an amazing one before her. A lot of chicks whom I have as friends are great women too. My friends who are in relationships have good women after they had some bad ones.

You don't pursue good women, you let them come to you. When you are trying pursue a good woman you will settle for a bad one thinking she is a great one because you are too determined to have a good one.

I wasn't even interested in finding a girlfriend. I was fvcking chicks and enjoying myself. One night I met a girl when my friend's band was playing. She got my attention and started talking to me. We started dating, I screened her well and she was worthy of being LTR material.

I suggest that you go out and have some fun and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about finding an LTR or a wife, meet as many women as you can, screen them well, and one out of the bunch will be the one that will be worth it. Don't settle just to say you have a girlfriend.

Also, change what you did wrong in your last relationship. Never think the world of flawed woman, don't put them up on a pedestal, don't be a beta, and never allow yourself to be dumped. Always heavily screen for your relationships and don't be forced or feel pressured to be in one. And don't worry about hurting her feelings like some guys do.

Oh by the way, I've texted Allie for over two months and "Texting Didn't Kill The Relationship"

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Bad girls out number good girls so if you find one consider yourself lucky, if not make due with what you got. Or be a bachelor your whole life.....living does not revolve around women or getting married. All the good girls I met are with the biggest serial cheaters in my circle......cheat on their girls all the time, cheated on every girl they ever dated. When they go out they pick up other women, run trains and go figure they end up with the sweetest girls. Oh well

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Funny how that works......these guys I know bang tons of women currently and have the sweetest girlfriends....school smart, but not street smart I guess. While I am out here banging some trashy freaks hahahahaha

 

[Evan]

I would say that there are women who are worth dating and settling down with but you shouldn't be making it a purpose to find them. Invest your time and energy in yourself and have women take the backseat in your life. Sure it's not a bad thing to go out and **** some of them but do not invest unless you know this is a women you would like to settle down with. Even then that should take some time and energy on her part to prove to you that she is what your looking for. Devote your time and energy on yourself and making yourself a better man every day and you will have more women investing in you. Many will be hit and quit it but some will be worth some more time.

On another note, when you know you've found a girl you really like your thinking about her when your with another girl. That isn't the best way but gives you a way of knowing that you've spotted something you like and is worth a little more exploration.

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

I had a baby with a women who couldn't live without me. Now that I know she is borderline the rest is history. But yea there is good women out there buddy.

 

[BadNews]

http://returnofqueens.com/what-to-do-if-youve-slept-around-but-have-finally-found-the-right-guy/

The evil is real. The more I think about it, the less good women I believe there actually are in this day and age.

Lets be so bold as to say 20% of females aren't *****s. Of that 20% you're probably only going to find 1% of them to be what you're looking for physically. Even less so when you take personality into consideration.

I believe for me to find the "right woman" I'm likely looking at less than 0.1% of the female population. Not looking good.