Do chumps realize they are mocked by women?

[Rogue]

I wondered this question as I sat at my regular late night bar stool. The bartender, who I know, was talking to two girls, one of whom is my type and I've seen once or twice before. The bartender was wearing a shirt with some bad handcrafted drawings and the girl who is my type jokingly told him she ought to design his next shirt, just give her a joint of weed and a brush. (Nice.)

Now, the joke was innocuous enough but the bartender is a huge chump and judging by the mannerisms of the girl, I picked up she may have possibly been mocking him, for it had a stroke of insincerity, and it was underhanded enough where she knew it would fly under his radar. (Funny enough, I picked up she was attracted to me.) I have been improving my sense of social intelligence and this instance struck me as something which probably happened to me in the past but I would have falsely attributed it to "success" with the ladies, because from his perspective she was "flirting" with him but from her perspective she was mocking his cluelessness.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

No, they don't. Especially when they are married to the girl mocking them.

 

[Colossus]

So many ways that could have been played...

"You don't like my shirt? My niece made this for me...."

"Sorry, I'm not a drug dealer, but I will let you paint me a shirt if you get us BOTH a joint."

"Too bad you don't like it. Good thing it's not yours."

"Ok, but only if I can have a few drinks and fix your haircut."

Women are so insecure physically it is too easy to just flip it around and give them a jab.

 

[Mr. Me]

I do think guys don't realize sometimes when they're being put down. But how do you know she was mocking him and wasn't simply negging him?

 

[robinincarolina]

Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't

 

[Rogue]

Like I said in the original post, I cannot say with absolute certainty she was mocking him. I was careful enough with my carefully minced wording that consideration of this uncertainty was taken into account. But like I said, in reading the non-verbal communication I sensed a possible stroke of insincerity which would separate the delivery from your standard joke. She's dead sexy. He's ugly. I couldn't imagine her ever desiring to follow through with her words. I fail to see how it was a neg hit because neg hits are used on recipients with higher social value than the deliverer and she has much higher value than him. Delivering a neg on someone of lower value is mocking, by definition.

Last night I was sitting at the bar stool again and the guy was chatting up a different group of two ladies, this time talking about sports. After a little while he suggested to one of the girls she should watch sports with him and his invitation was greeted with a silent thud. He's a good guy, best of luck to him, but he is most un-suave.

 

[Nutz]

"Ok, but only if I can have a few drinks and fix your haircut."

I love that!

 

[Mr. Me]

To "mock" someone means to make fun of them by mimicking them, it's like a contemptuous ridiculing, it isn't easily mistaken for being humorous, mocking comes off as mean-spirited, angry, spiteful. I don't get that making a joke about his shirt design having to be drug inspired was mockery. Sounds more like she was teasing him. Hot women do bust chops by humorously negging on men, and it's not that they necessarily believe their target to have a higher social value and wish to cut him down, it simply gives them a way they can run with the guys by acting like a guy. It's really more like the concept of what they used to call "The Dozens"; it's about showing your sharp wit with smart alec put downs. They're not into being just a pretty face. Those girls tend to use words like this to describe themselves: "Sassy", "Can dish it out as well as the next guy", "I must've been a guy in my past life". Plus I wouldn't assign her intent based on how attractive she is vs. how ugly he is or any other interpretations of what may have been accompanying signals because that's all simply conjecture.

As to the main point of the thread, if a woman hurls a remark at a guy that appears innocuous but is actually intended to, not poke fun, but truly insult, then if he doesn't get that he's been insulted, it could be that she failed to deliver the message she intended to transmit, or the guy is literally lacking in intelligence so as not to get the sense of it, or he has a cognitive problem that prevents him from comprehending it (such as Asperger's Syndrome for example), or not take it as an insult because his ego doesn't want to take the hit (whereupon they then offer up excuses for the woman: "Oh, she didn't mean it that way" or "I know she's just joking", "That's the way we always joke with each other") or they let it slide rather then dignify it by acknowledging it and consider it to be indicative that she has issues and it's not their problem. That would cover some of the more likely scenarios.

 

[jophil28]

Winston Churchill had a comeback for every occasion.
THis is a bastardized version of one of my favorites..

Random woman, all offended says. " You sir, are drunk !"
WC," You madam, are ugly, but I will be sober in the morning."