"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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DJ's with Asperger's Syndrome

Mr_rogers

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Are there any out there? As someone afflicted with this condition, I need hope. Is there such thing as a DJ with Asperger's? Can someone with this syndrome "make it"? If so, what's your story? How did you do it?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Maxwell

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I have Asperger's.
I wouldn't call myself a DJ, yet, but I am an aspiring DJ.

I certainly hope it's possible for us to make it. In my view, it's like having a bad start to a race; it makes things harder but it doesn't mean you can't still win.
 

mackdaknife

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I've actually met several individuals with Asperger's. They seem to be on the far end of the normal spectrum of personalities on the "shy" end.

The first person is a young woman who just seemed shy, and distant. She would fall asleep or seem to fall asleep by putting her head down. She spoke occasionally, but did not speak frequently. When I spoke to her, I noticed she didn't make eye contact, but previously, I didn't notice this, since she wore thick glasses. She's actually pretty good at conversation and smiles at socially appropriate times.

The second person is a guy who definitely has weaker social skills. I asked to borrow some paper from him. His eyes got wide, as if the conversation were frightening in some way. He began to move his head around from side to side in an odd fashion, so my speaking to him definitely caused a response. But he could not make eye contact. It was odd. Plus, it was apparent that he had either not bathed recently or that he had not washed his clothes recently.

Anyway, my impression is that someone with Asperger's can certainly present themselves as a normal yet noticably shy person. I doubt though, if you are aspiring to this, that others will regard you as the "alpha male" dominant type. But that doesn't mean you can't have a successful social life nonetheless.

Anyway, take these observations with a grain of salt. I've probably met a number of other individuals with Asperger's and not noticed, since I did not have repeated dealings with them.

Good luck!
 

WaterTiger

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There are guys with Aspergers who DO have solid relationships, even hold together a marriage with kids. You have to work at it! But it can be done!

Work on eye contact, otherwise people will think you aren't paying attention to them.

Read books on "Reading People" (Amazon.com) to learn social cues and those "unspoken" actions that Aspies miss. The DJ Bible has a few articles on it, but not many.

You'll have to train your future girlfriend to stop with the "subtle play on words" and be more blunt about what she wants.

I don't think hiding your syndrome will help you either. By TELLING the girl you don't do eye contact well, will give her a chance to understand that you staring away from her, isn't a rejection.

Intellegent girls who spend time in libraries might be a better bet for you than drunk chicks at a club.

Have you found WrongPlanet.Net????
 
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