DJs send women right back to the ex

[lifeislearning]

I've heard a great deal of stories where women in a LTR leave their BF for a DJ, and in a few weeks or months are back with the old BF. I've seen it countless times first hand where a guy was living a near flawless DJ lifestyle, and in a short time the girl is back with her ex. Rare is the story where a woman leaves the AFC and stays with the DJ for long. Why is that?

I used to think, "Guy #2 isn't man enough, if he were the girl would surely stay with him!" but now I wonder if that's true. Maybe life with a DJ is just too damn difficult for most women to handle. Before you start a flood of "white knight, AFC isms," hear me out.

If a true DJ is focused on developing himself and his life, women are left as an afterthought. The vast majority of women I know aren't used to this. If they really want to be desired over all else, that just won't happen with a DJ, and the safety, security, and mindless worship from an AFC would seem the better option.

If a man isn't focused on women, he most likely has a self-serving (fun and interesting) lifestyle. Fun life+ little interest in settling down= women go crazy. That man would have the world of women open to him, so a potential partner knows how many competitors are out there, and also how easily replaceable she is. Knowing you're not a special unique snowflake is something few women want to admit.

Most of us on this site are constantly advising that men guard their lives, happiness, finances, emotions, health, social status, and general well being against any threats to those arenas. What threatens them all more than a woman? Knowing that: aren't we entering the dating world denying women all these things that the average AFC lavishes on them? In essence, we are doing exactly what we blast so many feminist articles for advocating, "That you like me for me, never expect to change me, and only want to be with me for the joy of being in my company."

That's a tall order to ask a woman to handle. Especially if she just left a relationship where everything was presented to and sacrificed to her, she was elevated to a goddess status, and every whim was indulged in. Sh!t, who wouldn't want that? Isn't that what we expect our women to do for us?

I don't think some women can handle all that. So we get labeled as heartless @ssholes, users, manipulative playboys, and still the women flock to us. Maybe a woman needs a certain mindset or life experience to be able to live with a DJ. Why go for the challenge when there's a safe, predictable, and easy (albeit less satisfying) option right next door. That's why we need to be choosy to find women who will take that risk for the adventure of life. Women who can live by the quote, "Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great," just as we do.

If you can't live by that, say hi to your ex for me because we are not gonna work out.

 

[speed dawg]

The women aren't the ones leaving the DJ......the DJ is most likely pumping and dumping them, sending them back to their comfortable AFC ex. There she stays until a better branch comes along.

 

[backbreaker]

what you see as a bad thing i see as a weeding out process

here's the thing. I don't WANT a woman who wants my life to revolve around her. I really don't. i have no use for that woman.

i was going to make this post last night actually that you know, i am grateful for this site because it gave me something that no one else could have given me, total absolute freedom. Freedom to do what i damn well please, freedom to not base my life around women.


the real fact of the matter is that most women aren't worth LTR's. most guys date most women because they are just there and they don't' want to be alone. most women aren't worth my or your time or any DJ's time LONG TERM. most leave for this reason. most weed themselves out. a woman who wants me to give up everything for her has self esteem issues id on't want her. a woman who wants to date you beucase she wants to feel wanted is dating for the wrong reasons.

my wife did not like hte fact that i was spinning plates. but she understood where i was coming from. and i gave her a goal to shoot for. win me. win me and i will stop. she won. if a woman can't accecpt that she isn't mature enough to date me.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

My experience:

DJ -----> BorefriendAFC #1 -----> Same DJ --------> BorefriendAFC #2 ----> Same DJ

Continue until the woman finds a reasonable guy she can control or gets old enough where she has to settle. In between she will always come back to you if you give her good sex and just shrug your shoulders when she leaves. Have a couple of these going on at once and you will never be without sex or girls to hang out with if you want that.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Absolute excellent thread!

They immediately try to start training you into a AFC beta. Holy crap the neediness and insecurity with these broads is off the charts so it's pretty easy to pick up on. Sh*t the last one sucked me in big-time, on paper their was a slight slight chance of an LTR. But man once I got to know her, EJECT!

Like OP said they are accustomed to an AFC putting them up on a pedestal and them being the center of attention and of course relationship security aka love.

Why aren't you emotional? Why don't buy me flowers or tell me you miss me? UGH.....Stop comparing me to you f-ing EX!! NEXT...


Reps to BB---"what you see as a bad thing i see as a weeding out process"

Good stuff LorenzoVonM! Knowledge is power! BAM!

 

[lifeislearning]

Backbreaker: I don't see the weeding out process as bad at all but an absolute necessity. In fact there should be many layers of weeding out, and this (hopefully) is an early one.

What I also agree with is:

My experience has been that being aloof and such works great for attracting girls......but it also needs to be tempered a bit if you want to keep them. Otherwise, you are the badboy they fvked and still desire.....but that doesn't provide the relationship security they often seek.

And I feel that tempering is something we often fail to validate and apply. I would have a hard time respecting a woman who was ok with me treating her the same way as a girlfriend as I did when she was a random plate.

Those weeding out processes are certainly there for our benefit, but what about that +/- 2% of women who are quality and think, "F this, I deserve better," without being entitled or b!tchy, simply knowing her worth. Lord knows I say that to myself when I get some girl in a LTR giving me the googly eyes. Too much work, even if we would have great potential.

I want a woman who is worth something and knows it, same as I do, and I sometimes wonder if I'm stacking the odds against those ladies

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Danger,
Good Post....I somewhat agree with Speed Dawg,see this a fair bit on the Dancing scene...Many Women seem to move on for say six weeks,then they are back with the boring Ex....Can happen many times.....in life,where many people are never happy with a certain person,there is usually an underlying problem...One Bird I know (very well actually) is a poor Mans Marilyn Monroe,magnificent pair of knockers,I got lucky one afternoon at a Barbecue,took me five minutes to find the problem,she is just too loose,even adding a finger for good measure,she just does not generate that friction that older Anglo Guys need...I would surmise that her usual Man being of Italian extraction doesn't have a problem with this (probably created it anyway)for me it was too much of a good thing LOL!