DJ's I need your help/wisdom, oneitis and friendship emergency!

[Iceberg]

Actually, yes I would say that "talking" would be the proper term. It was "exclusive" because at one point she did turn down one dude because "I am with Johnny", "I am with" could be interpreted as many things, but w/e. Its not one of those one night stands, so its not just hooking up and not hooking up IMHO. To further complicate things, I have no idea if "dating" in her culture means there is sex (which actually threw me off, making it look like I am coming in too strong) most Middle-Eastern cultures dont do it that way. But thats that, time to move on. Edit: yes, she is an immigrant. I guess I gotta be careful with those from now on.

Bold: Very true. Especially now since I decided to end talking to her 3 months ago anyway, its all good. And as I said on that same post, I wish them the best. If anything.

I didn't mean it like you have to have some sloppy, drunk, one night stand with her. I just mean that there is no relationship unless something sexual is happening.

Talking to someone for months isn't dating. It's not "almost dating". It's nothing in the neighborhood of dating.

Whether you're looking for a girl for tonight or a girl for a real relationship, at some point things have to escalate sexually. I know we've discussed your situation with this girl. But just keep that in mind for EVERY future girl.

Lots of guys make the mistake of thinking that deep conversations and "getting to know each other" will spark a woman's romantic interest. That's just not the case. And it sounds like that's the method you chose with this girl.

So from now on, escalate. If a girl doesn't like it, then you know she's not into you, and you can exit before wasting 3 months. It's not about banging her and leaving her. It's about establishing, "You're the woman. I'm the man. And this is what we're doing together." Without it, you're just two people talking. Might as well be you and Albert.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

So from now on, escalate. If a girl doesn't like it, then you know she's not into you, and you can exit before wasting 3 months. It's not about banging her and leaving her. It's about establishing, "You're the woman. I'm the man. And this is what we're doing together." Without it, you're just two people talking. Might as well be you and Albert.

Ok, escalate! But at what pace? Trust my gut?

and just to clarify (not that it matters) I cut off all contact from her and have oneitis for this woman for 3 months! Thats what I mean by 3 months, not that we "talked" for 3 months. Unfortunately I wasted more time "talking" with her, because I did not escalate! She probably got tired of waiting too.

I know, I know, its bad. And I KNOW I need to move on! I am trying, I tried approaching other girls but what I end up doing is just looking for HER in them. Its bad yo The least I can do is keep myself busy studying and chilling with the guys/working out