"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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DJs, have you ever been the one to blame...

iqqi

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DJs, have you ever been the one to blame...(aka "the one who got away)

for the demise of a relationship you really wanted to work?

like say, you cheated, or something of the sort? like MOTU's "break" that resulted in a real break in trust? or anything in that nature where you know that the relationship ended because of you?

i am curious....
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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MVPlaya

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Yeah, but that was before my DJ days. I was 14. Since then? Nope.
 

BWSL2

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Just recently. My first serious relationship, among many meaningless ones.

I won't get into the details here, but it boils down to my lack of experience (youthful arrogance,) and her situation (she wanted things that I couldn't possibly give.) It was sort of "the relationship was doomed from the beginning, but if I had acted better it would have lasted longer and ended on better terms."

I guess it's not entirely my fault like you had asked, but I probably deserve a good chunk of the blame.
 

Kineti[C]harm

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Sometimes I've drifted into fvckingrelationships (not like fvckbuddies) and not like dating either, somewhere in twillightzone.... This I've managed to royally fvckup each time due to the girls not trusting me and not believing what I told them :D
 

SemperFi719

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Like BWSL I too recently got out of a relationship that I really wanted to work. This too was my first serious relationship and the whole thing was a learning process that allowed me to test DJ skills and learn things that I knew in the back of my head from reading things such as sosuave,doc love, etc. Its over now, but I know that because of it I come out much wiser than before. Like many a dj say, every relationship is just practice for the next.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Big Pappy

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Yes. I dated one girl for about three months, really wanted it to work out, but she just would not stop with her toilet-trained-at- gunpoint nit-picking. At a bar, a little hottie was having a body shot. They poured the tequilla in her perfect little navel and I sucked it all out. ( along with a lick of some salt and sucking on the lime)

My girl said, " Oh my God! How gross! Do you know how many germs are in the human belly button? You're not kissing me until you use some heavy duty mouthwash!"

This was the straw that broke Big Pappy's back. I just love body shots!
 

McHenry

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My most recent relationship broke down partially because I became really possessive and also becasue it was a long distancerelationship. I really wanted me and her to work and that's why I opted to have a long distance relationship. I remember reading alot of posts here in the summer about LDRs and how they dont work, I ignored the advise at my peril.
 

Smile

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I would imagine everyone has at some point, i mean, datings are learning process nobody is born able to keep a relationship going, because none of us are born with a 'what women want' handbook in our brains.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Kineti[C]harm

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Oh then no, I've never cared about any girl that wasn't a friend or family.
 

Quick

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I was with a very intelligent 21yo virgin (I was her first kiss) that I eventually got tired of baby stepping through a relationship, so I gave her an ultimatum that I was pretty sure would end badly. I didn't care, I wanted her to either comply or be gone anyway.

She was the worst kind of inexperienced person. A stubborn one who thought they knew because they had read a lot of books. She was hot and my dream girl in every ******d way, but i could forsee way too many struggles coming up to let her control the pace of our relationship, so I took a gamble and lost.
 

iqqi

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Originally posted by Quick
I didn't care, I wanted her to either comply or be gone anyway.
if you really didn't care, then you are disqualified for the question i asked:

Originally posted by iqqi
i would like to stress that i am talking about a woman you REALLY cared about and wanted
 

Quick

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I read your question and understood it perfectly. Did you read the sentence that came before the part you quoted? I really wanted to be with her, just not on the terms she was setting. What I didn't care about wasn't the relationship, but that by being demanding I was taking a risk.
 

ShizamDaMan

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With one girl I told my friend she was a dirty slut before I knew her. I kinda liked her later on, then he told her I said that and it all went to hell.

Another girl was really into me after a party. But I neglected to call her for two weeks and she got back together with her ex-boyfriend. Doh :p

My first real relationship was doomed from the beginning, I was the worst AFC ever in 8th grade haha :D
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Jin

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yeah... I don't even think you can consider yourself a DJ if you havn't f*cked up at one point or another... its all part of learning and growing.

My last g/f moved away for job stuff and asked that I not hook-up or be with another person for awhile... she didn't want to feel that I didn't value our relationship and was insecure about losing me I think.. but the bad part on me was I broke my promise not to sleep with a girl...... and that hurt her.

No one grows or learns without struggle.

the real question is...

"Do you accept defeat or learn from your mistakes and turn them into stepping stones to a higher state of self and toward becoming who you want to be??"

by the late Bruce Lee
R.I.P.

Best,

Jin
 

iqqi

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i am surprised. either noone is responding, or almost everyone here is a fcuking victim. :rolleyes: maybe i shouldn't be surprised.

for real though, i am surprised that no cheaters have responded.
 
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