DJ's Guide to Flaking

[MacAvoy]

Ok first off, the title is misleading. I can honestly say I don't ever remember been flaked on. So my guide is not going to be so much about how to deal with flakes its going to be about not getting flaked on.

Its all rather simple. The problem is you guys are chasing girls with low IL. The problem is with your game. Your not creating enough attraction in the stages leading up to the flake.

Now I've gone on many first dates where I never got a second one, so I'm not saying I'm the master. I've had first dates that I thought have gone great but when I phone for a second date, I don't even get an answer or a call back to a VM.

So what do I do? I go look for a new target and charm the hell out of her. I'm either really good with women or I'm terrible. I don't know if it comes to chemistry or what.

My point is, if she's not that interested in you, why are you wasting your time chasing someone who doesn't like you? Do you really want a relationship with a women who doesn't like you enough to keep her plans with you, which will lead to her disrespecting you in the future because she doesn't like you that much?

Flaking is a direct result of LOW IL. Its because you didn't create attraction when you were interacting with her up to that point. So stop focussing on the flake and focus on what your doing wrong. Step up your game gentelmen.

If you do get flaked on, stop contacting her and get out there and find WOMEN who actually like you and want to be with you. What is so difficult about that?

 

[JackPrescott]

Ok first off, the title is misleading. I can honestly say I don't ever remember been flaked on. So my guide is not going to be so much about how to deal with flakes its going to be about not getting flaked on.

Its all rather simple. The problem is you guys are chasing girls with low IL. The problem is with your game. Your not creating enough attraction in the stages leading up to the flake.

Now I've gone on many first dates where I never got a second one, so I'm not saying I'm the master. I've had first dates that I thought have gone great but when I phone for a second date, I don't even get an answer or a call back to a VM.

So what do I do? I go look for a new target and charm the hell out of her. I'm either really good with women or I'm terrible. I don't know if it comes to chemistry or what.

My point is, if she's not that interested in you, why are you wasting your time chasing someone who doesn't like you? Do you really want a relationship with a women who doesn't like you enough to keep her plans with you, which will lead to her disrespecting you in the future because she doesn't like you that much?

Flaking is a direct result of LOW IL. Its because you didn't create attraction when you were interacting with her up to that point. So stop focussing on the flake and focus on what your doing wrong. Step up your game gentelmen.

If you do get flaked on, stop contacting her and get out there and find WOMEN who actually like you and want to be with you. What is so difficult about that?

I see your point, but if they flake after the first date and still want to hang out as just friends, it's "Waiter, seperate checks" That is the best policy, thanks.

 

[Rook]

Flaking is a direct result of LOW IL. Its because you didn't create attraction when you were interacting with her up to that point. So stop focusing on the flake and focus on what your doing wrong. Step up your game gentlemen.

Truth is truth!

 

[Rook]

My point is, if she's not that interested in you, why are you wasting your time chasing someone who doesn't like you?

I've never understood this either...

 

[Mavrick]

You always talk sensibly.

If you're chasing a flake, you haven't found enough value in yourself.

 

[ready123]

It's not a lack of IL, it's a lack of comfort/trust/rapport. if you get LRM, flaking comes from the same place, just further along in the pick-up. and if a girl gives you LMR, you don't just say, oh wait we're naked but she's not interested so I'll go game someone else. you defuse it because you know it's just a mental block. LMR is a result of lack of comfort so you defuse it by addressing her fears or playing with the frame

if you wanna get a feel for why a girl flakes, say there's a girl who was able to turn you on in the moment. forget about her looks for a second because we all know girls are not guys - the core of what they're attracted to is value and it's this distinction that allows the not-so-good looking guys to have success. anyway, so say there's a girl who turned you on 3 days ago but you can't remember what she looked like. if she called you today, would you care? probably not because she's just another face in the crowd. you'd have no attachment to the effect she had on you three days ago. so what would it take for you to think she's special enough that you would remember her

a genuine connection maybe?

 

[JackPrescott]

It's not a lack of IL, it's a lack of comfort/trust/rapport. if you get LRM, flaking comes from the same place, just further along in the pick-up. and if a girl gives you LMR, you don't just say, oh wait we're naked but she's not interested so I'll go game someone else. you defuse it because you know it's just a mental block. LMR is a result of lack of comfort so you defuse it by addressing her fears or playing with the frame

if you wanna get a feel for why a girl flakes, say there's a girl who was able to turn you on in the moment. forget about her looks for a second because we all know girls are not guys - the core of what they're attracted to is value and it's this distinction that allows the not-so-good looking guys to have success. anyway, so say there's a girl who turned you on 3 days ago but you can't remember what she looked like. if she called you today, would you care? probably not because she's just another face in the crowd. you'd have no attachment to the effect she had on you three days ago. so what would it take for you to think she's special enough that you would remember her

a genuine connection maybe?

The reason women Flake is two-fold. the level of their attractiveness. You dont see ugly, or overweight women flaking do you? No, it's HB8's or above that CAN do it.

And the ratio of males to females. IF they live in a town, say where the male to female ratio is 1 to 7 (What a Playboy Mansion lifestyle that would be!!!) even an HB9 could not afford to do it, as the males would be so scarce, she would latch unto the first 1/2 way interested one like a leech.

That being that, they have so many options, that it's fun for them to accept dates from schmucks, and then bow out of them with lame ass excuses. It's almost like a "notch on the gunbelt" thing for them.

 

[ready123]

if you think women deliberately plot and burn guys for no reason, I don't know what to tell you. what a crappy bitter reality to have

 

[MacAvoy]

what a crappy bitter reality to have

Welcome to the world of JP!

 

[The Bat]

I wholeheartedly agree with your entire post, Mac. But you see, and I'm speaking from experience just in case you are wondering, the problem that most of the guys run into is this:

you go out on first date, YOU thought it was a great date while she thought it was ok. You call her back for a second and she plays the, "lets take it slow as friends" card (or something similiar...you know what I mean). Meanwhile, you're thinking that she must be interested in you otherwise she wouldn't make the effort to call back/hang out/etc. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Like I mentioned, getting to the "oh you wanna be friends?....well cya later" part took some time for me. It's hard to get to the part if you don't have the balls to take a hard look and evaluate your self worth. If I haven't gotten physical with her by second/third date, then I should be investing my time elsewhere....ANYWHERE....but her.

Great post, nonetheless.

 

[strey]

Ok first off, the title is misleading. I can honestly say I don't ever remember been flaked on. So my guide is not going to be so much about how to deal with flakes its going to be about not getting flaked on.

Its all rather simple. The problem is you guys are chasing girls with low IL. The problem is with your game. Your not creating enough attraction in the stages leading up to the flake.

Now I've gone on many first dates where I never got a second one, so I'm not saying I'm the master. I've had first dates that I thought have gone great but when I phone for a second date, I don't even get an answer or a call back to a VM.

So what do I do? I go look for a new target and charm the hell out of her. I'm either really good with women or I'm terrible. I don't know if it comes to chemistry or what.

My point is, if she's not that interested in you, why are you wasting your time chasing someone who doesn't like you? Do you really want a relationship with a women who doesn't like you enough to keep her plans with you, which will lead to her disrespecting you in the future because she doesn't like you that much?

Flaking is a direct result of LOW IL. Its because you didn't create attraction when you were interacting with her up to that point. So stop focussing on the flake and focus on what your doing wrong. Step up your game gentelmen.

If you do get flaked on, stop contacting her and get out there and find WOMEN who actually like you and want to be with you. What is so difficult about that?

just a thought. i completely agree with this, but as there are so many different topics on this forum and many different ways of thinking from many different types of people. but what ever happened to a challenge?
yeah, we might be wasting our time, but in the beginning we dont know that. we see something and we go for it. we act on instinct. its cat and mouse. i thought taking risks and just "going for it" was what its all about. and i have read so much about how every man wants to be like james bond. well, as described by previous posters in other topics, girls usually have very low interest with him in the beginning, hate him, or even want him dead. yeah its totally fiction, but you get where im coming from. but he perseveres, uses his charm, and eventually conquers his challenge and gets the girl. and i think most guys here have been in this situation before. and yes, there is a 50/50 pass/fail ratio. but if most of us stopped trying at the beginning, a lot of us would not be where we are today. but f u c k it!!! regret or rejection right? i think we should all put our ego and pride aside. i hate flakes just as much as the next guy, but i love a conquest. if anyone has anything to rant or rave to this, i would really like to know.

 

[MacAvoy]

Ok first off, your talking to the king of challenges. I'd bury myself alive to prove I could handle a shovel. My sig has always been "The most persistent traveler on the road that's not the path of least resistance" but with all the arguing around here lately I changed it for a period.

Again like anything else, nothing is an iron clad rule in life. Rules are made to be bent. In this case, its the same thing. There's always going to be that girl that turns us down, but we just have to have her.

So you go out and you make it happen, you persevere. However the problem with too many guys is the scarcity mentality, they think that about any women that gives them a sniff because they don't realize that there are many other women out there that could potentially like them.

My point is, most guys on here are getting flaked on and there is a simple reason for it. The whole point of my post was not to move on but

Its because you didn't create attraction when you were interacting with her up to that point. So stop focussing on the flake and focus on what your doing wrong. Step up your game gentelmen.

If they can reflect and step up their game, they can avoid being in this situation.