Djing with no friends.

[Cheiradawg]

This is my thrid year in college and as of yet I haven't made any friends. I know a few people that I would stop and talk to for a second if I were to see them on campus, but I don't have any friends that I hang out with at night or on the weekends. This is kinda wierd I know. I have a life and all that but friends aren't really a part of it.

Now say I find a chick take her out on one on one a time or two, and them she finds out that I don't have any friends. Would most chicks dump me because of this or would they just find it odd?

I know it depends on the individual girl, but in general what do you guys think?

 

[mrExtreme]

Do you have no friends at all or just no friends at college?
Of course girls will think it's weird. Put yourself in a girl's position. If some girl was into you and you found out she had no friends, you wouldn't think that she is a little strange? The next time that you see one of those people that you talk to for a second ask them if they want to go to a party. There are always several parties going on every weekend on a college campus so one party shouldn't be hard to find. That way you can start making some friends.

If you still can't make friends and somehow get a girl to go out with you definitely DO NOT TELL HER THAT YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS!

 

[OpenMind]

mrExtreme is right.. do you have no friends at college or do you have no friends at all at home? that is the question because having no friends at college can be due to many things other than an inability.. so that is where the question lies... fill us in.. ill give you advice!

 

[Aramas]

Yep - work on putting a social network together before you even think about chicks. It will be hard for you because the prime 'hooking up' time is 1st semester of 1st year, when hardly anyone knows anyone - everyone has already formed their little cliques by now. Of course, that has the advantage that once you're in with one person, it's relatively easy to become part of the group - it happens all the time, so don't sweat it.

Strangely enough, I suspect it's sctually harder in college than in real life - most people don't even realize they're not in high school anymore, and still cling to very immature social patterns.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

dude - i'll b your friend

does anyone else want to b his friend? then he can say he has friends

i hope your future girl doesnt ask to meet us - we r in cyber space and we have funny names

 

[Cheiradawg]

Thanks for the replays guys. Here is my deal...

When I got into college I hung out with my friends from HS because they all lived in a large private non-uni dorm. It was close to my on campus dorm which was very small and full of seniors. So after a year they all moved off campus and I didn't see them. It sucked because I hadn't made any friends outside of those that were friends with my friends from HS.
Looking back it seems almost as if I was their "friend by default" sence they didn't know anyone else either. They didn't really wanna hang out with me much after they moved off campus because they were semi-dj and I was afc.

As for friends at home I have two that I hang out with sometimes, but it is safe to say that I don't have "constant" friends in my life.

Two chicks lost IL very quickly after they figured out I didn't have any firends. I was smart enough to lie about it but that fasaud can only last so long.

I agree that DJing will be a hella lot easier with a social-network, but it almost seems like a catch 22 that I'm gonna have to fight through somehow. If someone has friends they have the tools to make friends. Such as always having plans (I have plans but they are with myself), knowing about parties, and just having people around. Even the untangables like having your cell ring and notes on the room message board make it easier.

I'm not needy. I'm in very good shape and I have a personality. But the thing is is that no one ever invites me to do anything, and I can't invite myself, nor can I invite people to things becuase I don't have "social" things to do.

Somebody throw me an idea.

 

[divega]

Ok. How about for one of your school buds... Like after a test or something, just suggest going out for drinks that night. No biggie. Just say that you want to relax and grab a couple of beers or something, and then you can establish an outside school friendship. You're going to have to make the first step here.

 

[sql]

you're lucky you're in school, and that there must be extra curricular clubs, activities, etc available to you. in the real world, you dont have the benefits of pre-organized social groups, out there you have to fend for yourself.

take advantage of those things - there are so many, im sure you can find an on campus group that shares a common bond or similar interest. many times they have a website on space the school will provide for them.

im talking about things like co-ed sports teams, ethnic groups, student government, college radio station, the geek squads, foreign film club, math club, i dunno, your school should have like a master list of all student organizations available. im sure there must be some out there that might interest you.

take advantage of those, thats an easy way to get to know people through something you're genuinely interested in. most have weekly meetings or meets where you can meet new people and make new friends. and if there isnt something out there for you, start one on your own. be the first. its been done before!


good luck

 

[Cheiradawg]

Thanks div and sql...
Good ideas but it doens't seem to be that easy.

I have tried to get involved in intermural sports by signing up as a "free agent" where people who need an extra player call you, but they never have.

As far as club go I'm gonna be graduation in May so it isn't really worth it. The clubs at my school are gay. Here is an example.

Good ideas but they don't apply to me.

 

[sql]

i think that pirate club is totally retarded, lame, stupid and ridiculous.

but it spread like wild fire with 250 people in such a short time, and altough seems like a totally retarded ordeal, could prove to be worthwhile in meeting one or two people. thats all it takes.

maybe they're stupid clubs, but they are made up of other people that are probably like you, and thats what might make it worthwhile. i dunno, i guess you have to be open minded about it. be willing to take a few risks and have fun for you. chick pirates can look pretty good too when they wear skimpy sailor clothes.

blah. i suggest you give it a shot, maybe not the pirate club but something else - you dont have much to loose other than a few hours of time, and you can always walk away if you cant stand it.

 

[divega]

Try volunteering. Good stuff, with a lot of open and cool peeps. The more activities you do, the closer you all can get.. It's worth a shot.

 

[jakethasnake]

Dude... North Carolina is a huge school with a diverse student body. Maybe you should go to the basketball games and try to have fun with the hardcore Tar Heel fans. Supporting your school team always brings people together.