"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
DJing in England
- Thread starter EternalBachelor
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
EternalBachelor
Don Juan
Austin how would you recommend I go about meeting girls in gyms? I work out a lot and the gym is full of very nice looking girls in good shape. What is the best way to establish rapport as girls are often very sensitive in the gym as they are sweating and usually not wearing very much. I have tried asking them about their training goals etc. but got brushed off more often than not.
AMF. I think especially at university, bar/club pickups offer a lot of potential, as it one of the few places where (with the help of alcohol) girls can loosen up (although it does make some girls ver rude).
My skills at clubs and bars are near non-existent so I would welcome anyones advice on playing the club/bar scene in the UK
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
Henley Regatta, in my experience, is not too good. The women tend to be either very loud sloaney women with huge rugby playing boyfriends, or local slappers from Maidenhead tottering about in miniskirts - similar to Royal Ascot really. You do get some incredibly attractive women at events in the 'season' (Henley, Ascot, Guards Polo, Glyndebourne etc) but they are usually in big unsociable groups. I find smaller, low key events much better.
As for gyms, I've never chatted up women in the gym because I tend to use the pool most of the time. It's pretty easy there, you just get chatting while resting at the end of a length - make sure you get EC and a smile first though. I usually just talk about crap like 'not many people in today' etc. I have done C&F though on women who do the girlie thing of getting in really slowly because they think the water's cold.
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
I've never really had much luck in this area, but one thing I've found does work quite well is 'working tables'. A group of you men sit down at a table near a table of all girls. You ignore them at first to let them check you out, then just ask for a light or something and get chatting, turning back to your lot occasionally. At this point there may be c*ckblocking from some of the women, but you just isolate and get the number of one you like.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Went out for my friends birthday and got ****faced in a weatherspoons bar. Then we went to another bar that's open until later. A hb8 walked passed, i got EC and a smile.
Waved at her, and motioned for her to come over. She came and i started a conversation. Then i handed her my phone, and she put her number and name in. Then she started sucking on my face.
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
Yeah the direct approach sometimes works wonders. But don't be surprised if someone called 'Darren' answers the phone and threatens to 'do you for talking to his bird' or something...!
donny osmond
Don Juan
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Spoonies are amazing for fit girls, just be wary of the council esate scum etc. because it is so cheap!
Pubs are amazin to pull in, prime time is about 9-10 because thats when the girls will be on at least their third bacardi breezer!
No spoons tends to have people with whom i dotn get on with so much, its great for a beer if im with m8s but 4 me sucks if im on the prowl and yes i know its illegal but thats what fake IDs are for
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
Places like All Bar One, Pitcher and Piano, etc tend to have a slightly better class of girlie. Some middle class girls in England won't ever go to pubs, only wine bars.
jakethasnake
Master Don Juan
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Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
Anyway they have never really regarded the Americans as foreign - that goes for British commonwealth people as well (Aussies, Canadians, South African etc).
To be a dodgy foreigner means being a lecherous Greek, Albanian, Arab, etc - you know, a swarthy type. These are the ones that seem to practice cold approaches in London the most.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
However, some of the university educated, liberal/left types have now gone very anti-American, although they claim to be just 'Anti-Bush'. What they hate most of all though is the kind of redneck types, not so much educated Americans.
Some of the arabs and muslims in built up areas like London and Bradford might be anti-American, but I've not experienced this first hand.
Heartmaster
New Member
As to where to go... depends on which part of England you're visiting. In the summer (are we there yet?) in London you can try out Covent Garden... plenty of women milling around, with all the street entertainers. The Tube (the London Underground) is also a mad place during the summer. Just break the stupid taboo about not speaking to people on trains... as an American you might be well received by some giggly English girls
In the evening, we have some great bars and clubs. My favourite in London is actually... gah, I've forgotten the name of it!... but it's in Piccaddilly Circus. It has 4 floors and it's often full of hot women.
(Unfortunately, I'm not from London, so I don't have a chance to go to this particular club that often.)
As for approaching women in clubs, it's easy if you don't use a typical AFC approach. I will often bust straight into a group of 2 or 3 girls, say something like... "Hey guys..." and then I get their opinion about something. The best subjects to get into a convo with a group of clubby girls is relationships/male vs female stuff/personal stuff (about you).
For example, I often ask them about my hair... "Hey guys... I'm thinking of having my hair coloured completely blonde... could I get away with it?", then you could start teasing them, C&F etc.
I don't recommend doing standard stuff like, "You look beautiful" or "What do you do?" etc etc. Girls have heard this stuff a million times. BE ORIGINAL... in a club, at least. When they ask me what I do, I never tell them what I do, but I play around, saying I'm a priest, a trapeze artist, etc. You can have some great fun when they ask you that question
Also, don't worry if you get blown off by some girls in clubs. Don't take it personally. Club girls often have their ***** shields on to the max. If one particular girl in the group isn't falling for your opener, just neg her with something like, "You've got a little something on the side of your nose". The frame changes pretty quickly after that
But, in the end, if they want to carry on acting like b*tches, then move on to another group of girls. England is full of girls Heartmaster
AT spymac DOT com
Sent her a text message today but no reply, yet, hope i get one soon.
Went out last night also (Thursday). As it's students night at a local club (can wear whatever the **** you want).
However my friend who's only 17 didn't get in so we went to a bar around the corner and got slaughtered. The bar was full of older girls (20+) so we stood out loads. I did 2 approaches.
First one i saw a hb7 on the dance floor so i walked up to her and said:
Me: Would you ever go out with a guy who lives in a tent?
Her: No!
Me: What if it was a really cool tent, with like a big tv and a fridge, and a king sized bed?
Her: I doubt it.
Me: Shallow.
Then i walked off. I could have stayed longer but she was givin me some nasty facial expressions.
The second one my friend dared me to pull the next girl who came out of the girls toilets. Being successful would mean a drink for me!!
She was about 30, and a 5.
So i went up to her and started a conversation. She said she was 26 which is a blatant lie, which i called her on. And she said she thought i look about 20. Which is also a blatant lie, as i only look about 15 (don't shave yet etc).
In the end i got her number and a peck on the lips. By then the bar had closed so i didn't get my drink.
I find in bars and clubs it's very easy to approach and to start a conversation and get some rapport goin' with a girl.
Austin Allegro
Master Don Juan
I think non-US threads might even benefit from a separate area.
To sum up, here's the differences I've noted:
1. Cold approaches are almost unknown. Casual pick ups revolve around being drunk in clubs and pubs.
2. Casual dating is not as familiar. In fact some UK women seem to have a certain resistance to the idea and prefer the thought that things 'just happen'. This is especially true if you look at dating websites, a lot of women will say things like 'I can't believe I'm doing this' etc.
3. UK women are more cynical and less open to smooth talking or NLP techniques etc. Most would laugh at that sort of thing.
4. Many UK women go through a pattern of 2-3 LTRs with AFCs until they are in their late 20s/early 30s when they go mental and date everyone in sight in the search for Mr Right.
5. LJBF is not considered by many UK women to be a blow out - they seem to be perfectly happy to be friends with men even if they have a bf - I think this is because so many AFCs have been conditioned by feminism to not be 'a threat' to women.
Any more thoughts?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.