DJ tactics do not work on Chinese women

[Phyzzle]

I've been dating a Chinese woman over two weeks (4 dates). I'm not talking about an HBAsian from SoCal, I'm talking about an actual Chinese woman from China, whose English is still a little shaky.

I was wondering if anyone out there has experience with this. She's a high quality girl (it's not everyday you meet a cute chick working on a Ph.D.), but I'm not sure how to procede.

There are some pretty heavy differences: In China, it is actually quite normal for a couple to marry and have children without once kissing eachother on the mouth.

I have been a challenge, and it was working. She keeps asking me about everything, my parents, my philosophy of life, etc. But I've taken challenge too far, perhaps. She turned me down for another date, but later sent me this e-mail:

all i want is to have more interesting conversations between us. i always think the first and foremost relationship between men and women is friendship, no matter what they will end up in the future, be it married couples, colleagues, hang out buddies, or lovers. open up and tell each other fears, joys, surprises, plights, etc. Become sincere friends and honest with each other. It is not the cultural difference as you said on the phone. We are human beings, which means we do have emotions, feelings, anxieties, puzzles we want to share with others. And it is always nice to have friends to share things with.

I would very much like to go out with you the coming tuesday should you identify with me.

So she wants me to share all my innermost feelings after 4 dates? It sounds like the usual advice females give out to weed out the chumps. When American women say this, they're testing you.

If you actually do what they want, and reveal your innermost self after 4 freakin dates, the "chemistry" will mysteriously vanish.

But this is not an American woman. I'm not sure how much of my inner AFC should come through. Any thoughts?

 

[Soapz]

Howdy Phyzzle.

I'm a chinese dude living in Hong Kong, so I felt I HAD to put a little something here...

Ok, heres the thing, in China its common for people to Marry without having MET each other. But these are like...farmer people.

You have to remember, China is one big motherf*cker- so the culture is totally split. Don't stereotype her.

Considering she can actually SPEAK english, don't be too worried(that email was written with better grammer than most posts on this forum). She's more westernised than you think. Most "Never kissed before getting married" types you speak of can barely read and write.

Hate to shoot myself in the foot, but most (80%) of chinese women are gold digger though. Beware.

 

[drift king]

next her she won't be giving you any anytime soon.

maybe shes testing to see if you're after a quick lay or actually interested in her for the long haul.

 

[PheonixUK]

http://chinabounder.blogspot.com/
This is the blog of a DJ in China. Chinese women aren't anti-sex if you can push their buttons

 

[zip]

every chinese girl ive met has come from an extremely wealthy family and is attracted to wealth.

 

[Hitman10000]

http://chinabounder.blogspot.com/
This is the blog of a DJ in China. Chinese women aren't anti-sex if you can push their buttons

Typical White Guy that goes after Asian Women:

http://myspace-789.vo.llnwd.net/00064/98/75/64175789_m.jpg

 

[Hitman10000]

Phyzzle, you are right about the "weeding out chumps" part but wrong about "testing." She's not testing you dude, because she's made up her mind and placed you in the friendszone. It takes a woman ONE SECOND to determine if you are attractive/safe enough for her, it takes a woman ONE DATE to determine if there is a possibility of a relationship for her.

Stereotypes aside, I do notice that some Asian women get into relationships with men or marry them without feeling passion for each other. It's almost as if she becomes some sort of caretaker or a "Yes" woman of a sort. If you're into that go ahead. But for my business like personality, I like a woman that is crazy or emotional fidgety than someone that just follows me around and says yes all the time.

 

[Randomer]

Mmm, I was about to reply to the topic because a lot of Chinese girls I've been with have been really shy and all this "be a crazy challenge to get/hella negs" stuff really just doesn't work, they just get discouraged... HOWEVER this girl's is obviously not like that... she definitely seems pretty westernized to me, seeing as how she has a firm grip on the english language and all. I think it's pretty obvious that this has only 2 ways to go, so decide for yourself...
1) LTR (if you really play your cards right)

or

2) Friendzone

 

[wayword]

http://chinabounder.blogspot.com/
This is the blog of a DJ in China. Chinese women aren't anti-sex if you can push their buttons

Actually, that was proven to be a fake "performance piece," although I have read "real" blogs with similar attitudes/accounts (but not to that extreme).

Anyhow, a poor mother/divorcee with a kid = quality? Lmao, not in my book...

 

[00Kevin]

Chinese women are crazy horney! Damn! I can get them in the back of my car anytime I want. They are wonderfull! Some are a bit fixed on money but they give you want you want.

 

[Phyzzle]

Anyhow, a poor mother/divorcee with a kid = quality? Lmao, not in my book...

I guess I'm used to American chicks being all that, and uneducated, and fat, and loud.

Well, challenge did work for me:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109654

Don't give and and reveal your innermost feelings right away. That's still the same for any woman. However, whenever I said something ****y, she would roll her eyes. The whole being ****y thing is right out, even as a joke.