DJ success....SUCKS!

[92 GSR-4]

Okay. So I've diligently studied, implemented, and learned alot of material on this site, and some others. Now I've found myself in a predicament due to a couple possible factors.

1) I am still AFC a heart.
2) I have no Fvcking clue what else it can be..

I am currently in a RELATIONSHIP with a girl I met at school. Read this post: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109416 towards the end you will read about the chick I took put-putting (nice action date BTW).

Relationship. I know what your thinking. I thought I could fvck and run but I just can't do it this time. Usually feelings end up hurt and akwardness ensues. Not only that, when you see this girl's state of mind you will see why I would be a complete monster for doing it. Some problems:

1) She lives an hour from me, works 2 jobs, and goes to school full time.
2) She has little spare time. So much that her work has caused her to flake me twice.

To counteract the flaking: she called me like 4 hours after she was supposed to call and meet me the second, and last, time she flaked. So i just told her that I liked her but if she can't even call me to let me know she can't make the date then we can't work out. I told her that with her work schedule like it is, we really don't have a chance. She pretty much said she understands and she respects me.... then she called me back 3 minutes later and asked me to follow her home tommorrow. She said she was sorry and that she had to work because nobody came in to fill her spot. Also she said that she only had a 15 minute break to eat and that her phone was in her car (she works at a restaraunt and eats there too). And she said that she doesn't want to give up easily. I went on that date and she made it WELL worth it.
She calls me daily. Tells me how much she trusts me, how comfortable she feels with me, how good I kiss, how good I make her feel, how much she wants to see me, etc. etc. etc. Alot of fluff.

So heres my real problem. The reason I can't fvck and run, and why I really don't want to drop this chick. You see, she is still a bit young (19) and she lost her virginity to her last LTR...who she was with for 4 years, gave it up, and he then dumped her 3 days later! She feels ****ty about it. And trust me she REALLY likes me. So if I bail on her, she kinda falls into that category where I don't think she's emotionally able to handle it. And I really do like her. Unfortunately, my DJing ability has grown enough where I have 3 other girls that I could be taking out. Do I like them more? No, because they have no rapport with me. But I am certainly interested...but now it would be considered cheating if I dated them or talked to them on the phone. So what do I do?

 

[paraguayandj]

1. Dump her
2. Locate your balls
3. Utilize them
4. Fcuk a lot of women
5. Enjoy it

There, 5 easy steps. Sounds mean but is just like not trying to worry about the kids that die of hunger in Africa. If you start worrying about them, you realize that you are only human and there is very little you can do to help

 

[typical]

Dude the girl just sounds way too busy to have a boyfriend aye (hint insert fcukbuddy). Thats what your role is to be with her mmmmmmk ??? Plus on the other hand there would and are many single girls who would make a good repacement for her ......... go find them.

Maybe later in life when she aint so tied down with her sh!t you can kickstart something till then dont give up the other honeys out there, cause in the end its just a$$.

 

[Phyzzle]

So if I bail on her, she kinda falls into that category where I don't think she's emotionally able to handle it.

Not your problem.

What, do you think this chick is all concerned about the feelings of guys who want to be with her? (And you know there are a few). If she flakes on you twice, imagine what she does to the guys she's NOT interested in. Probably strings them along for weeks, agreeing to all these fake dates for an ego boost and then ditching them . . .

Point is, guilt should not even be a factor in relationships (except about dishonesty, because you don't need dishonesty to get laid.)

I went on that date and she made it WELL worth it.

Normally, I'd say next, but she's just a teenager, so you've gotta be real obvious about how people are supposed to act.

Next date, say, "so we need to do this when the restaurant's closed, right?" If there is even the slightest chance of being called in, make a date when the restaurant is CLOSED. I don't care if it's 2:30 am on the 2nd Tuesday of next week. But you are not gonna book an entire evening out of your copious schoolwork and social life to read some two line text about her having "stuff to do."

As for the other chicks, if you're ready to call this one your gf, she's gotta see you twice a week, and be intimate. Accept no less.

 

[92 GSR-4]

paraguayandj, your advice is way off. This isn't a kid in Africa, she's my girlfriend, and I care about her. Grow up.

Typical, your right about her schedule being WAY too busy. Thats why I told her we shouldn't date bc of that. She has since asked for tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays off from work. We'll see if that really gets done, but I hope so.

And Phyzzle, your the man as usual! Thanks for the advice.

I know her emotional state is not my "problem", but she really has feelings invested in me. Especially since our last date. As far as flaking goes..the first flake was when we were supposed to go out and her work got in the way, but SHE set up the timeframe for the next date. And the second flake was because of work as well. So now that I think of it, she really isn't flaking, but her whole work deal has gotta change. Supposedly shes getting 3 days a week off because she said she wants a social life. I'm going to hold her to it, and if she doesn't spend the time w/me...Next.

Yea she is still a teenager, phyzzle. But we are really open. I know what she likes/wants and she knows what I like. The other night when we were together, I told her that if theres anything she's uncomfortable with, to point it out, and that I would do the same. We really have a good relationship, except her work.

 

[Mr. Unique]

1. Dump her
2. Locate your balls
3. Utilize them
4. Fcuk a lot of women
5. Enjoy it

There, 5 easy steps. Sounds mean but is just like not trying to worry about the kids that die of hunger in Africa. If you start worrying about them, you realize that you are only human and there is very little you can do to help

That is the worst advice any one can give

 

[paraguayandj]

That is the worst advice any one can give

Thank you buddy

 

[Distant Light]

Every girl invests at 1 level or another when your spending time or even speaking for 5 minutes. If you haven't had sex with her then the investment isn't that high. I remember a girl I used to always walk with for social proof and I thought she was heavily invested. My friend says he wants to get with her, I DHV him and he #closes and lays her in about a week. After that my investment was no where near how invested he was and all he mainly did was fuvk her.

It also depends on you, do you really want to stick to this one girl. Usually when I start to vibe with a girl I think what do I want from this girl and I game her accordingly.

It all comes down to what you want, do you want to improve your skills? Do you plan on marrying this chick? Do you want to be in a LTR and hold off all improvements? Do you want to improve your skills while talking to her? Do you want to make her get the idea that you have other women in your life?

You really can't be helpped it really comes down to what you really want, I personally wouldn't pick something that I think is morally right but wouldn't make me happy.

 

[flexion_]

Her problems aren't your problems.

 

[Kev07]

why does she need to work 2 jobs in addition to school?

 

[Bvbidd]

If your not in her mind you don't sh!t about what she's thinking.

She probally 'accidently' had sex with some guy last night as you write this post.

Now that's probally a huge exgerration but you get my point. If she's leaving the house and working, etc.. There ARE other guys going after her pvssy, lol I assure you that. There always is. She's just not telling ya. Nothing wrong if you start getting other leads as well if ya know what I mean, keep your options open.

She's not the helpless innocent one with all these problems, you are buddy. She's not a virgin either, so I wouldn worry about rushing it with her asap. Explain the situation and try to bang her.. I don't know that's my opinion. Try for an fvck buddy thing.

 

[92 GSR-4]

If you haven't had sex with her then the investment isn't that high///// It also depends on you, do you really want to stick to this one girl.//// It all comes down to what you want, do you want to improve your skills? Do you plan on marrying this chick? Do you want to be in a LTR and hold off all improvements? Do you want to improve your skills while talking to her? Do you want to make her get the idea that you have other women in your life?

Distant light! You hit the nail on the head, and I was thinking about this on the way home from the fair, and I also talked to my sister and her friend about it. But here's what I realized. I don't want to be tied down to her right now because we can't get good opportunities to see each other. Theres just too many other options open to me right now. And I also want to improve from where I'm at. It's crazy how the tides have turned so suddenly. I have chicks coming to game ME now at times. I want to play the game. I just need to find a way to keep going between us without being her bf. I guess I was just trying to be morally right about it.

why does she need to work 2 jobs in addition to school?

I have no idea! She says she has bills...I DO know she makes good money as a server ($240 in tips last night) because she's quite cute

If your not in her mind you don't sh!t about what she's thinking.

True that!

She probally 'accidently' had sex with some guy last night as you write this post. ?

Hey! don't say that, it's not good karma! :nono:

Now that's probally a huge exgerration but you get my point. If she's leaving the house and working, etc.. There ARE other guys going after her pvssy, lol I assure you that. There always is. She's just not telling ya. Nothing wrong if you start getting other leads as well if ya know what I mean, keep your options open.

Yeah your definately right. She DOES in fact tell me about those occasions, but I'm sure not all. And she also tells me about other guys trying to get her in a relationship. In fact guys have come up to hit on her in front of me. I'm just really unaffected by it, in fact I have told her "hey go for it! You can get a backup!, and she always responds with "no way, I'm happy with what I have".

She's not the helpless innocent one with all these problems, you are buddy. She's not a virgin either, so I wouldn worry about rushing it with her asap. Explain the situation and try to bang her.. I don't know that's my opinion. Try for an fvck buddy thing.

Wow, and then your post went to hell, Bvbidd. I am not helpless nor do I have a bunch of problems. I have a life other than her. I go out all the time. I just want her there for some of it. I think I'll try for the fvck buddy thing though. Really, thanks for the response Bvbidd, and everyone else. This is helping me reattach my balls.:yes:

 

[92 GSR-4]

UPDATE:

I ended up breaking up w/her. I finally re-attached my balls and returned to my DJ development. The best thing is that she is being really nice to me when I see her, giving me compliments, etc. Maybe the fvck buddy idea isn't out of reach.

Thanks to all of the different opinions I got; to help me overcome some of my AFC-ness. I have a while to go, but I can truly say my life has changed since I discovered this website. Before this I hadn't had a gf in three (3) years. Not to say I didn't have any flings, but besides vacations and drunken encounters I was getting little action. Thanks to all.

Seth

 

[everywomanshero]

Just like science builds on things step-by-step, you have to build yourself up step by step. It takes a lot of time, a lot partial successes, a lot of reflection to finally arrive at a place where you are finally seeing things in a more realistic manner.

You will have to go too far in the opposite direction to know where the middle ground is, and sometimes that can be painful. For example, there will be a day when you start *nexting* too soon and for too little reason, and that will hurt your game too. It's all part of process. The process continious as long as you are interacting with women daily. If you stop interacting with women daily, then you are taken out of the game and progress slows.

 

[92 GSR-4]

Yeah, I thought that I needed to stay in practice.

So new question. This girl in one of my classes is kinda shy around me. I always catch her looking though, so I knew there was something up.

So today she had a survey that was for another class. She needed 15 people to participate, and she asked me to take it. Of course I responed with a CF remark "So hey what do I get out of this? " and she just laughed and blushed a bit. So after class I went up to her and asked her if I could copy some of her notes I missed from last class. She agreed, and we proceeded across campus where we could use a copier. I used the walking time to ask her Q's and basically run my mouth. Of course I was funnay and all that shiz too. So when we walked back and she was headed to her car, I just said "hey you wanna go out with me one night?" and she was like "it's wierd you asked me b/c you know so and so?" and I said "yeah i think so, she sits in front of me right?" and she said "yeah, well she has a thing for you". And I'm like (in my head "damn no ****!:rockon: ") "ok, so what?" and she said "well I have to talk to her about dating you". So I said "why? You shouldn't let her make this decision for you" and she said "yes, but she is my friend and I have to talk to her".

SO anyways I asked some other girls, and also my sister, and it seems to be a big deal if one chick "claims" you. That means your off limits to the girl's friends. Apparently if they even date/talk to you it can end their friendship. WTF? I'm 90% sure this girl likes me, but would she really NEXT me b/c her friend likes me??!?