DJ Sin-Lunch with Ex!!

[drake]

I broke up with my ex about 3 months ago. I was unsure about what I wanted and broke up with her. Well, I tried to not lose her totally right after I broke up with her and wanted to get back with her, but she was having nothing of that. So I left her alone for a month and a half and she called me. We have talked a couple times over the past month and today we met up for lunch.

I would like to give it another go with this girl. In the past 3 months without her, I have got a few things lined up that I needed to get taken care of. I feel like I am in a better position to handle an LTR.

So we agree to meet up for lunch. She brings some modeling pics that she has to show me. (ummm ok). Im like wow, it looks like you with make-up. Actually I told her they look good and left it at that. Then the convo starts. 5 minutes in she brings up the relationship and starts asking me why didnt I do this and that. Just drilling me! I said listen, I know I made some mistakes and I am sorry for those, but there is nothing I can do now. I learned from them and have moved on. So she dropped it.

Well, lunch lasted about 2 hours. I had her laughing like old times and gave her a hug and went on my way.

I know you guys arent about getting back in with ex's. But I broke up with her, and would like to give it another go. She had to of been bringing up the past because she still cares correct?
Im not sure. But I would like to play my cards right and get back in here.
Any advice?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Two questions.

1. Why did you leave her?

2. Why do you want to get back with her?

 

[drake]

 

[drake]

1. I left her because I thought the grass was greener and I was a little timid about the thought of spending the rest of my life with one girl. (Im 24 she is 25)

2. I would like to try it again with her because I feel like I am in a better position in all areas to attempt a serious LTR.
We dated 7 months.

 

[CLOONEY]

Who invited who out for lunch? Who rang who in the past month?

 

[drake]

We were silent for about a month. She broke the silence. We talked on the computer for a couple weeks.......that progressed into txt messaging and then eventually to phone calls. After we had got to the phone call phase...........I said, lets do lunch. She said that would be cool. We did, everything went great. I just cant tell what she wants. She was real touchy feely with me and also touched on the realationship a little to much i thought..

Been broken up for about 3 months.

 

[dietzcoi]

If you REALLY broke up with her, then it would be OK as long as you keep the DJ style going.

If she broke up with YOU, and you are crawling back... hell, no!

Stay in the DJ mindset and do NOT become AFC, then it will be OK

Dietzcoi

 

[Cremasta]

In the past I would have advised against it, having been there and it hasn't worked out. Luckily I'm over my need to protect all those delicate guys who might get their heart broken after trying to get back with an ex...

If she does it for you and vice versa then go for it!

You'll either be back here in a month or two telling us how much she broke your heart, or, you'll be together for quite a while.

You hopefully know her problems, quirks and good points, if you still think she is the girl for you then try it... either way, you will have experience and not be relying on theories such as "never, ever go back to an ex!"

 

[CLOONEY]

I think she probably wants to get back with u, she is just afraid of being hurt again. U two have to talk, if she wants to get back together u cant do this to her again or u will probably loose her for good. I say go for it, just ask her if she wants to try again with u, make sure she answers first!!

 

[drake]

I feel like that if I show intrest, I will become no challenge to her and she will lose intrest. She has to know that I still feel for her since I tried to run back after I broke up with her. So I guess my challenge now is to show her that I am interested while not being a doormat! Any advice on how to do that?? I thought about disappearing for a couple weeks since we just went out a couple days ago. Make her wonder what I am doing.

Of course I would love to call her up and say lets catch a movie or something but I think if I push.....she will pull away. Whatcha think??
Drake

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by drake
So I guess my challenge now is to show her that I am interested while not being a doormat! Any advice on how to do that?? I thought about disappearing for a couple weeks since we just went out a couple days ago. Make her wonder what I am doing.

Of course I would love to call her up and say lets catch a movie or something but I think if I push.....she will pull away. Whatcha think??
Drake

Couple of things... What would you think if she just disappeared for a couple of weeks and didn't try to make any contact? Secondly, try to get out of the "movie or something " attitude.

Give it a couple of days and then call her up to go out. Have something clear in mind, don't start giving her options or making her choose what to do. I know a lot of women who love it when the guy has everything planned and they are just along for the ride.

 

[drake]

Honestly if she disappeared for a couple weeks I would probably wonder what she was up to and want her more. Its that hard to get thing. We all want what we can't have.

 

[Slickster]

What you have to do is continue seeing her. Make her laugh and show her a real good time (just like your lunch date).

Don't let your intentions be known because as you said she may just lose interest because lack of challenge or she may think you are messing with her head.

You have to just let things happen and sneak under the radar.

I've gotten pretty far with some ex's in the past before but if the the idea of rekindling the relationship came up too soon it usually crashed and burned.