Hubris
Don Juan
I can't seem to see a way out of my little problem. It might help to have a fresh perspective.
Last school university school break, this girl invited me out to see Lord of the Rings. We met each other at a party months before, she was attached but I heavily put on my charm anyways and things went great.
After that we kept in touch a bit, traded live journals, etc. Almost zero contact until the winter break.
During the winter break her and a bunch of people that were at the original party were going out to see LotR's. She thought I was going to be there but no one informed me. So she called me and invited me, from the theater. She didn't have my phone number so she must've gotten it from my good friend who was there. But my good friend didn't call me, she did. Which I took as a clue.
During the movie, it was basically just me and her laughing and making jokes the whole time. Things were great. REALLY great.
After that night a few of us go out for coffee, I do less kino than I probably should have, but it all ends well, we all part ways.
We make plans for new years, but I'm working and she's going to a guy's house who I basically hate and his party was going to suck anyways so I don't see her then.
Then I through a barbecue a few days later, she says she's all for it, but there was a mechanical disaster with her transportation and she couldn't make it (she had to unpack her van and pack everything into her car because she was moving back to university the day after and that was going to take hours and she was stretched for time as it was).
So she goes back to university, and I go back to my university. But we keep in close contact, I get her number at her residence. We continue to flirt pretty heavily back and forth, mostly on the net because it's long distance phone calls.
Anyways, we make plans to go out on Valentines day. We just make general plans at first and I say that I'll call her to make more firm ones. This is 2 weeks before V Day.
3 days after our soft plans, she asks me if there was any word on Valentines day. I tell her "I was going to ask you out properly on Thursday". She says fine.
The next day she asks me if this date is just us 2. Which I thought was kinda weird, because it seemed pretty obvious. So I tell her that "that's what I was planning".
She says that's fine "but it can't go anywhere if you know what I mean". I ask her what she means and she says "One, you live in Toronto, I live in Kingston and Two, I'm otherwise Enamoured. If it wern't for that though, everything would be fine."
I thought she meant that she had found a boyfriend recently. And I figured that she wanted to back out of the date because of this. I figured she wanted me to cancel the date b/c that would be easier on her. Which I was cool with, if she found someone else in her town that's fine. So I cancel the date. I just say "maybe another time then".
But I was wrong, later I found out that she just has a crush on someone that, for some reason, she can not persue. And she dumped her ex boyfriend because of this guy. (I know nothing else about that relationship).
Now, I can always find someone else, but this girl is of *high* caliber. She's super hot, she has my kind of humour, she goes to school for science, we get along great, and we seem to really dig each other. We don't through ourselves at each other, but you know, things just seem to work.
So this is my question. Do I keep my distance because she is recovering emotionally from some sort of tramatic event.
Or do I push our date, which she agreed to. All she said was "it can't go anywhere because you live far away and I'm heart broken over someone else."
I was thinking I'd just call her up, impromptu, on the 14th and ask her if she wants to go out for drinks and mini-put. I'm not neccessarily looking for a lasting relationship anyway, I just want to go out on V day with a hot girl.
(And yes, I do have other things working but I just want advice on this particular situation).
Thanks for your time.
Last school university school break, this girl invited me out to see Lord of the Rings. We met each other at a party months before, she was attached but I heavily put on my charm anyways and things went great.
After that we kept in touch a bit, traded live journals, etc. Almost zero contact until the winter break.
During the winter break her and a bunch of people that were at the original party were going out to see LotR's. She thought I was going to be there but no one informed me. So she called me and invited me, from the theater. She didn't have my phone number so she must've gotten it from my good friend who was there. But my good friend didn't call me, she did. Which I took as a clue.
During the movie, it was basically just me and her laughing and making jokes the whole time. Things were great. REALLY great.
After that night a few of us go out for coffee, I do less kino than I probably should have, but it all ends well, we all part ways.
We make plans for new years, but I'm working and she's going to a guy's house who I basically hate and his party was going to suck anyways so I don't see her then.
Then I through a barbecue a few days later, she says she's all for it, but there was a mechanical disaster with her transportation and she couldn't make it (she had to unpack her van and pack everything into her car because she was moving back to university the day after and that was going to take hours and she was stretched for time as it was).
So she goes back to university, and I go back to my university. But we keep in close contact, I get her number at her residence. We continue to flirt pretty heavily back and forth, mostly on the net because it's long distance phone calls.
Anyways, we make plans to go out on Valentines day. We just make general plans at first and I say that I'll call her to make more firm ones. This is 2 weeks before V Day.
3 days after our soft plans, she asks me if there was any word on Valentines day. I tell her "I was going to ask you out properly on Thursday". She says fine.
The next day she asks me if this date is just us 2. Which I thought was kinda weird, because it seemed pretty obvious. So I tell her that "that's what I was planning".
She says that's fine "but it can't go anywhere if you know what I mean". I ask her what she means and she says "One, you live in Toronto, I live in Kingston and Two, I'm otherwise Enamoured. If it wern't for that though, everything would be fine."
I thought she meant that she had found a boyfriend recently. And I figured that she wanted to back out of the date because of this. I figured she wanted me to cancel the date b/c that would be easier on her. Which I was cool with, if she found someone else in her town that's fine. So I cancel the date. I just say "maybe another time then".
But I was wrong, later I found out that she just has a crush on someone that, for some reason, she can not persue. And she dumped her ex boyfriend because of this guy. (I know nothing else about that relationship).
Now, I can always find someone else, but this girl is of *high* caliber. She's super hot, she has my kind of humour, she goes to school for science, we get along great, and we seem to really dig each other. We don't through ourselves at each other, but you know, things just seem to work.
So this is my question. Do I keep my distance because she is recovering emotionally from some sort of tramatic event.
Or do I push our date, which she agreed to. All she said was "it can't go anywhere because you live far away and I'm heart broken over someone else."
I was thinking I'd just call her up, impromptu, on the 14th and ask her if she wants to go out for drinks and mini-put. I'm not neccessarily looking for a lasting relationship anyway, I just want to go out on V day with a hot girl.
(And yes, I do have other things working but I just want advice on this particular situation).
Thanks for your time.
