I’ve noticed that beginning posters generally don’t read (or at least don’t understand) the DJ Bible. It’s no surprise, given that it’s a few hundred pages of the same few things said over and over again. When it isn’t redundant, it’s contradictory. We need a short version that 1st time posters can read quickly, and understand before posting a stupid question.
In addition, there needs to be a clear distinction between handy, exact rules and deep, vital Laws.
Let’s have some feedback. Anything to add? More importantly, anything to TAKE AWAY? There must not be one unnecessary word on here. NOT ONE SHRED OF INFO IS TO BE REPEATED! Let’s make it tight
****************************
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. My ex sent me an e-mail/ text/ myspace list/ singing telegram/ smoke signal, etc. Can you read her mind for me?
A No. And see Law #1.
2. My gf needs to slow down/ be friends for a while/ too busy to return my calls/ has a lot of schoolwork, etc.
A You’ve just been dumped. See Law #1. Besides, women will never say “I’m not interested anymore.”
3. My gf doesn’t want to base our relationship on physical affection
A You’ve just been dumped.
4. I’m too tall/short/bald/smart/stupid/Mongolian to get girls
A These are excuses to hide your fear of getting shot down. See Law #4. It’s not a big deal to get shot down
5. I can’t seem to find a woman over 22 without kids, folds of fat, and bi-polar disorder.
A Hmmm . . . all right, if you live in America, you have a good point there.
6. How do you handle being given excuses instead of a phone #? Or being stood up/blown off/’I have a boyfriend’
A You don’t stick around for more! These excuses mean low interest: it DOESN'T MATTER if they’re true or not.
7. Is it okay for me to keep dating this girl I have no long term interest in?
A Yes, it’s okay. Do you think this girl has ever, even once, continued dating a guy when he wasn’t marriage material? Do chicks ever worry about breaking YOUR heart? Ha!
Of course not! If she says “are you my boyfriend?” don’t lie, but until then all’s fair.
Laws:
1. Forget the exes and female friends. Common sense says it’s easier to kindle the flame with a friend, or re-kindle it with an ex, than meet and attract a woman who is a total stranger . . . well common sense is dead wrong! Real experience shows that once a woman has decided you are not relationship material, a switch is thrown in her mind. It can’t be changed back. Starting over with a stranger is vastly easier, in fact.
2. Work on yourself first. You need rewarding hobbies and a good career. You need to work off that flab, be better dressed than the people around you, and clean your house; it’s a pig sty, boy! If you are miserable alone, you will be just as miserable with a woman.
3. No dating advice from females. Take advice from US . Women will give you all sorts of disastrous nonsense: “Call her the morning after you get her number, bring her a gift on that first date, look into her eyes and tell her how you really feel.”
When a woman gives advice like this, immediately ask: “So, was your last boyfriend doing all that right before you starting humping his brains out?” The honest answer will be, “Um, well, no, but that was, uuhhh, DIFFERENT!” Well of course it was different! Her last boyfriend actually attracted her! Women’s advice is based on boosting the ego of women. Our advice is based on boosting the attraction of your date.
4. When you meet someone new, go ahead: be blatantly obvious about your interest. Make much more eye contact than you would with a guy, hold her hand a second longer when you shake it, ask for her number. DO NOT befriend her to build comfort and then a relationship. Women are not very sharp, and so you’ll have to be abundantly clear about your intentions. Call and say you ought to get together, not to hang out with a group of friends. Don’t worry about being shot down. There really is nothing wrong or embarrassing about approaching a girl and being shot down. Happens all the time.
5. On the other hand, don’t explicitly say “I’m interested in you,” or “I’d really like to start dating you.” If you’re obeying rule 3, you’ll just sound awkward. Speak with actions.
6. The man is the leader. In mathematics, we call this a “double standard”, and you’d just better get used to it! You make the 1st approach, you plan the first few dates (don’t ask her what she wants to do). You don’t ask permission for much of anything. Instead of “can I kiss you,” look into her eyes, move in for the kiss, and if it’s too soon, she’ll pull away. Big freakin’ deal! Just try again later!
7. Never, ever show that you need her. This is much easier if you’re obeying rule 2, and you really don’t need her. Don’t be so monogamous: spin other plates as long as possible. Don’t see any one more than thrice a week. Stop the 20 minute daily phone calls. You don’t have answer every time she calls. Don’t give her your daily itinerary: Don’t tell her what you are going to do all day tomorrow; your life is yours you don’t need to tell her everything.
The ideal relationship has the woman obsessed and doting over a man who is out in the world, getting things done. She is constantly wondering if he really, deep down, likes her. The reverse situation is hellish for both parties. She will cheat on and dump you. In fact, if you have a special, perfect type of woman for you (tall, or asian, or goth, or with glasses), odds are against a relationship working for long. You will likely get “oneitis.” Your own interest is the enemy. If you fear loosing her, that fear is fatal. This means stop telling her how beautiful and perfect she is. Complimenting her shoes would be better. This also means don't say "I love you" til she does.
Nitpicking Rules for Dummies:
For those experienced in the dating scene, feel free to ignore these. But if you have no idea what you’re doing, these simple rules should keep you from being a chump.
1. Call 4-7 days after getting the number. Waiting does not increase interest . . . but it does see if her interest is high. Any girl who can’t remember meeting you 5 days afterwards obviously wasn’t that impressed with you, so don’t waste your time.
2. Don’t touch her, on the arm or anywhere else, until she’s touched you first.
3. In conversation, the woman should say roughly two words to every one of yours. Get her talking about herself.
4. You don’t have to kiss on the 1st date, but if you aren’t making out by the 3rd, you’re going nowhere.
5. If a chick bangs you on the 1st or 2nd date, that’s great, but there won’t be a real relationship: normally, a girl who’s REALLY into you is terrified that you might think she’s a slut. She’ll wait till the 3rd at least. But if she’s initiating make-out sessions, by all means keep seeing her indefinitely.
6. Don’t even bother with monogamous girlfriends, unless you have been together for two months, and you are both 25, or older. Otherwise, the odds of it lasting are laughably small. Most chicks will like you MORE if you refuse to become their girlfriend so easily.
7. Don’t move in with a woman you aren’t engaged to (iron Rule).
8. Don’t even think about getting engaged after less than 6 months.
9. She will either bug you to get engaged after 2 years, or it will never happen. There is nothing more to learn about each other after 2 years.
10. Don’t set up the next date while on a date. Let her wonder then call her later.
11. You can suggest that there is competition for you, but don’t explicitly talk about all the other women who are chasing you. It’s insulting and sounds like BS.
In addition, there needs to be a clear distinction between handy, exact rules and deep, vital Laws.
Let’s have some feedback. Anything to add? More importantly, anything to TAKE AWAY? There must not be one unnecessary word on here. NOT ONE SHRED OF INFO IS TO BE REPEATED! Let’s make it tight
****************************
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. My ex sent me an e-mail/ text/ myspace list/ singing telegram/ smoke signal, etc. Can you read her mind for me?
A No. And see Law #1.
2. My gf needs to slow down/ be friends for a while/ too busy to return my calls/ has a lot of schoolwork, etc.
A You’ve just been dumped. See Law #1. Besides, women will never say “I’m not interested anymore.”
3. My gf doesn’t want to base our relationship on physical affection
A You’ve just been dumped.
4. I’m too tall/short/bald/smart/stupid/Mongolian to get girls
A These are excuses to hide your fear of getting shot down. See Law #4. It’s not a big deal to get shot down
5. I can’t seem to find a woman over 22 without kids, folds of fat, and bi-polar disorder.
A Hmmm . . . all right, if you live in America, you have a good point there.
6. How do you handle being given excuses instead of a phone #? Or being stood up/blown off/’I have a boyfriend’
A You don’t stick around for more! These excuses mean low interest: it DOESN'T MATTER if they’re true or not.
7. Is it okay for me to keep dating this girl I have no long term interest in?
A Yes, it’s okay. Do you think this girl has ever, even once, continued dating a guy when he wasn’t marriage material? Do chicks ever worry about breaking YOUR heart? Ha!
Of course not! If she says “are you my boyfriend?” don’t lie, but until then all’s fair.
Laws:
1. Forget the exes and female friends. Common sense says it’s easier to kindle the flame with a friend, or re-kindle it with an ex, than meet and attract a woman who is a total stranger . . . well common sense is dead wrong! Real experience shows that once a woman has decided you are not relationship material, a switch is thrown in her mind. It can’t be changed back. Starting over with a stranger is vastly easier, in fact.
2. Work on yourself first. You need rewarding hobbies and a good career. You need to work off that flab, be better dressed than the people around you, and clean your house; it’s a pig sty, boy! If you are miserable alone, you will be just as miserable with a woman.
3. No dating advice from females. Take advice from US . Women will give you all sorts of disastrous nonsense: “Call her the morning after you get her number, bring her a gift on that first date, look into her eyes and tell her how you really feel.”
When a woman gives advice like this, immediately ask: “So, was your last boyfriend doing all that right before you starting humping his brains out?” The honest answer will be, “Um, well, no, but that was, uuhhh, DIFFERENT!” Well of course it was different! Her last boyfriend actually attracted her! Women’s advice is based on boosting the ego of women. Our advice is based on boosting the attraction of your date.
4. When you meet someone new, go ahead: be blatantly obvious about your interest. Make much more eye contact than you would with a guy, hold her hand a second longer when you shake it, ask for her number. DO NOT befriend her to build comfort and then a relationship. Women are not very sharp, and so you’ll have to be abundantly clear about your intentions. Call and say you ought to get together, not to hang out with a group of friends. Don’t worry about being shot down. There really is nothing wrong or embarrassing about approaching a girl and being shot down. Happens all the time.
5. On the other hand, don’t explicitly say “I’m interested in you,” or “I’d really like to start dating you.” If you’re obeying rule 3, you’ll just sound awkward. Speak with actions.
6. The man is the leader. In mathematics, we call this a “double standard”, and you’d just better get used to it! You make the 1st approach, you plan the first few dates (don’t ask her what she wants to do). You don’t ask permission for much of anything. Instead of “can I kiss you,” look into her eyes, move in for the kiss, and if it’s too soon, she’ll pull away. Big freakin’ deal! Just try again later!
7. Never, ever show that you need her. This is much easier if you’re obeying rule 2, and you really don’t need her. Don’t be so monogamous: spin other plates as long as possible. Don’t see any one more than thrice a week. Stop the 20 minute daily phone calls. You don’t have answer every time she calls. Don’t give her your daily itinerary: Don’t tell her what you are going to do all day tomorrow; your life is yours you don’t need to tell her everything.
The ideal relationship has the woman obsessed and doting over a man who is out in the world, getting things done. She is constantly wondering if he really, deep down, likes her. The reverse situation is hellish for both parties. She will cheat on and dump you. In fact, if you have a special, perfect type of woman for you (tall, or asian, or goth, or with glasses), odds are against a relationship working for long. You will likely get “oneitis.” Your own interest is the enemy. If you fear loosing her, that fear is fatal. This means stop telling her how beautiful and perfect she is. Complimenting her shoes would be better. This also means don't say "I love you" til she does.
Nitpicking Rules for Dummies:
For those experienced in the dating scene, feel free to ignore these. But if you have no idea what you’re doing, these simple rules should keep you from being a chump.
1. Call 4-7 days after getting the number. Waiting does not increase interest . . . but it does see if her interest is high. Any girl who can’t remember meeting you 5 days afterwards obviously wasn’t that impressed with you, so don’t waste your time.
2. Don’t touch her, on the arm or anywhere else, until she’s touched you first.
3. In conversation, the woman should say roughly two words to every one of yours. Get her talking about herself.
4. You don’t have to kiss on the 1st date, but if you aren’t making out by the 3rd, you’re going nowhere.
5. If a chick bangs you on the 1st or 2nd date, that’s great, but there won’t be a real relationship: normally, a girl who’s REALLY into you is terrified that you might think she’s a slut. She’ll wait till the 3rd at least. But if she’s initiating make-out sessions, by all means keep seeing her indefinitely.
6. Don’t even bother with monogamous girlfriends, unless you have been together for two months, and you are both 25, or older. Otherwise, the odds of it lasting are laughably small. Most chicks will like you MORE if you refuse to become their girlfriend so easily.
7. Don’t move in with a woman you aren’t engaged to (iron Rule).
8. Don’t even think about getting engaged after less than 6 months.
9. She will either bug you to get engaged after 2 years, or it will never happen. There is nothing more to learn about each other after 2 years.
10. Don’t set up the next date while on a date. Let her wonder then call her later.
11. You can suggest that there is competition for you, but don’t explicitly talk about all the other women who are chasing you. It’s insulting and sounds like BS.