DJ challange: what SHOULD I have done?

[Grahf]

(first off, I HAVE read the articles, the faqs, tutorials, etc...very good stuff, but I was STILL at a loss in this particular situation)

I live on campus at UMASS, in Massachusetts.

I took an english course there this semester, and there was this girl in the class that I was EXTREMELY attracted to. She seemed to be extremely shy and nervous. She NEVER SAID ONE WORD during the whole class, ever.

I consider myself very good at reading people; she was always biting her nails, her eyes were always wide, she would look around all the time. I could tell she had a lot of anxiety. I would stare at her sometimes and try to lock eyes with her for a moment, but every time her eyes met mine, she would very quickly turn them away.

I myself am recovering from social anxiety (currently on medication), and using the techniques on this site has drastically helped to cure me of my problem (not 100%, but it helped me nonetheless). I find myself attracted to shy girls...so she was particularly attractive to me.

Halfway through the semester she stopped coming to class, and I felt pretty bad because I never got the chance to socialize with her. Every time the class ended, she would walk out quickly and just dissapear.

Today was our very last class, and she came back (just for that last class I suppose). She sat right in front of me, still as nervous and anxious as ever.
During the class I realized that my only chance would be to strike up a conversation with her when class ended.... At first I wanted to say to her "You know, I couldn't help but find myself attracted to you during the semester"...and then I was going to ask her where she was for the other half of the semester.
I literally had nothing else....especially considering that she is a very shy person, who may be depressed and talking to a person is the LAST thing she wants to do I didn't feel this would be appropriate....and that it might even turn her off or make her feel uncomfortable.

Well class ended and I got up next to her and tried to use subtle body language and cues as I put my jacket on. I had a strong feeling she knew I was attracted to her.
As usual she basically ran out of there...and I felt I honestly had no "in" with her, so there was nothing I could do.


What SHOULD I have done??

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Tried finding out what was wrong with her, being kind and emphatic and all.

 

[Austin Allegro]

How about talking to her? Saying something like 'haven't seen you for a while!' and taking it from there. If you don't talk, you won't get anywhere.

Having said that, it sounds like this person has 'issues', as you Americans say. It may be for the best that you didn't approach if she was as nervous as you say.

 

[khanboy]

Oh man, this is bad.

You know what works wonders with all girls? Even the shy ones? Especially if in same class?

Sit down next to her, and say "Hi. How are you?"

Use her response to gage whether or not she is shy and so forth.

 

[HuuBinh]

You've made a mistake here:
I was going to ask her where she was for the other half of the semester. I literally had nothing else....especially considering that she is a very shy person, who may be depressed and talking to a person is the LAST thing she wants to do I didn't feel this would be appropriate....and that it might even turn her off or make her feel uncomfortable.

It doesn't matter how she feels, at that moment you wanted to talk to her, but you didn't bc you cared too much about how she'd react.

 

[Walden]

Well class ended and I got up next to her and tried to use subtle body language and cues as I put my jacket on. I had a strong feeling she knew I was attracted to her.

You should have ƒucking talked to her!

 

[THA REALNESS]

1.Stop DJing Retarded People.

 

[Walden]

LOL ! Now that's comedy.

 

[Big Pappy]

I understand that you're sensitive to what this girl may be going through. But, at this point, it's very ...odd for you to care so much about a girl whose name you do not even know, a girl with whom you have never spoken to.

You can not live a satisfying life worrying about how introducing yourself to someone will make them feel.

Please. Take a moment. Think about if she had never, ever came back. You might have never seen her before and you would have lost the opportunity to see if she really was special.

Then, she comes back for the last day of class, you have a second chance and you put your jacket on in a certain way. Did you really think that this gesture was going to drag a nail-biting nervous nellie out of her shell?

You must conquer your fear of what others think. As long as you break no laws and follow decorum, all will be well. Now, if you KNEW she was depressed or suffering from some malady, that might be a different story. But you don't know until you try. And you did not try, so you will never know.

What you were supposed to do was ask her if she was okay, as she had missed a ton of classes. Then, go from there.