DJ Boot Camp Journal

[Arete]

Week 3 (Attempt 6)

Got my "Aura" back. Women look at me again.

It was excessively rough getting back up. I lost count long ago of how many chokes I had. But I made some real attempts. My biggest complaint is the weather being colder now. It feels like the difficulty somehow just went up.

1. HB7 and HB5, ~18yo, inner city. Said hi and blanked out completely. I kept looking at HB5 but HB6 might have been more interested. Awkward silence that felt like it stretched minutes. Then I felt embarrassed and left. HB5 was intensely looking sideways while I stood right in front of her. She didn't move or react otherwise. HB6 giggled like I was the funniest thing she had seen all week. I left and waved shyly at HB6 because I was still unable to talk. She said "bye" to me while laughing.
   
   
2. HB7 and HB6 at an event. I passed them three times with eye contact and all. On the fourth time, I stopped and gave myself some pep talk. They must have noticed my intention and made it easy for me. They also stopped walking as I did.
   Me: "Hey, hello" (came out very smooth, deep voice, calm, even surprised myself)
   HB7: "Hi~"(She smiled with expectation despite me all serious)
   Me: "Are you 17?" (What the F4CK was I doing? WHY? I wanted to ask how old she was, not asking yes or no questions!!)
   HB7: Yes, I'm 17 (seemed confused but still smiled, like "how does he know?")
   Me: "For real? You are really 17?" (lmao, fml, just let it go!! It's legal in my country and I'm just here to talk two minutes)
   HB7: "Yes" (stated flatly and stopped smiling and looked increasingly disappointed)
   Me: "I ... uh ... just thought your red clothes and blonde hair match really well" (putting her on a pedestal)
   HB7: "I got a boyfriend" (she looked annoyed, her expression saying "this guy is a total dud")
   
   This was a screw-up in every way, but it got me into a groove. I spent 30 minutes doing mental gymnastics for a playboy persona. I figured this would totally work out.
   
   
3. Two HB6
   Me: Hey! Nice weather today (Came out extremely confident, smile, eye contact and posture included. I was purposefully obvious)
   HB6: ... (silence stretched for a single second. I kept exuding confidence)
   HB6: The one I was standing next to started to look intrigued and smiled back, but the other burst into laugher (I expected both reactions, but not in two different people at the same time!!!!...)
   HB6: I'm actually married (showed me some ring, while still genuinely smiling at me)
   Me: Huh... how old are you? (came out fairly smooth considering how flustered I was)
   Other HB6: stopped laughing, noticing the difference in her friend's reaction. Then she proceeded to pull her away. Her mental state seemed off balance.
   Me: After they left, I got out of my persona eventually and felt like dying from embarrassment. Even the day after, I randomly had a backlashes about the utter cringe I committed.
   
   
4. Four non-HBs, still at the event. I looked at one of them, noticing a nose ring. That one would look alright if it wasn't for that. I moved on.
   Girl1: "Oh my gosh~~~did you just see that guy staring at me??" (Tone of voice was with negativity)
   Girl2: "Inaudible" (it was loud and I was further ahead)
   Girld3: "Crazy, maybe he is [inaudible]" (sounded like I'm some sort of serial killer by theier tone)
   Me: uh ...me? (I stopped and turned around)
   Girl1: well ... you kind of stared at me and then kept walking (slightly nervous)
   Me: huh ... (me pondering the last couple seconds)
   Girl1: are you a youtuber? (trying to change the topic I think)
   Me: Why .... ? (I kept having a blank stare, which is a bad habit of mine)
   Girl1: you are scary ... (increasingly nervous)
   Girl2: Who are you even? ... (slight anger for no reason)
   Me: I'm nobody (trying to say I'm not a youtuber or famous person)
   Girl1: Holy crap, this guy is dangerous ... (sounded like fear ... wtf)
   Girl4: For real ... (She was starting to panic)
   Me: Yea, I'm a very dangerous person (deadpans)
   All of them: Oh my god ... let's get away quickly ... (they literally run away ....)
   
   I don't get it. People are around everywhere and security guards and police are always just a couple of steps away. Why even react like this? I swear at another event a little boy under 10yo randomly pulled at my pants. He didn't see me that way. But his mom almost panicked lmao. Or another time I was in a dark secluded corner to "recharge". Some irresponsible parents let her blonde baby girl walk there seemingly alone. I tried to purposefully scare her away. But she just kept staring at me. I waited around till she was in a more crowded place. It was the weirdest thing to get stared down like this. In hindsight, maybe I should have asked if she was lost. But if she wasn't, I think everyone here agrees with me. Very real risk of giving off some seriously wrong impression? Still, I probably should have asked ...

That event barely had any HBs. There also had been mostly low quality men around. I noticed like half the women glancing at me but unfortunatly whites had been rare. Mostly middle east and indians. The only part that they had going for them was that age range was mostly 16-18yo.

In either case, I had to leave now. My mind already played out a escalation scenario, which might not even have been that far fetched.

After that to the inner city again. I have seen some places with high HB density. Apparently, high-end bars are now a good place, since the weather is colder now.

Did some scouting in different bars. It was packed everywhere. I couldn't sit or order anything. Moved from bar to bar. Eventually, I found one, but it was more like a restaurant. Had a beer. Got completely hammered by it (a single beer lol),

• 5. Two HB7, ~22yo:
  Me: Heellooooo~ (I was calm for sure … but being drunk doesn't work.)
  HB8: Come on, let's walk faster (Sighs… with slight annoyance)
  (She says to her friend while ignoring me completely. Her tone was noticeably lighthearted, and they didn't seem tense or anything. I don't think they took me seriously by any measurement. I must have appeared like a goof)

Turns out alcohol doesn't work at all for me. I need to avoid this in the future.

I noticed that clubs changed me for the worse while being at the event. I don't know what to make from this. In clubs, it seemed like it's obligatory to have a competitive and tense vibe. I somehow figured this was normal in social activities. After I was able to relax a bit more, I started to get looks from women. That's where the attempts have been made. Yet another reason to avoid clubs.


Result: 0 (0 out of 10) ... at least I made some actual attempts again.

 

[Arete]

Week 3 (Attempt 7)

I started the day in a very intense way. Went climbing with a friend to overcome my fear of heights. Straight after waking up.

Our trainer was a blonde HB8, like 18yo old at most, piercing blue eyes. In her equipment she looked close to a 9 because it overly emphasized her figure.

Normally, these would be optimal conditions. But there were too many variables.

• Most importantly, as I was up like 10m / 33ft high, I hyperventilated and all, badly panicking on my first 2-3 ascends.
• My friend seemed into her
• This was a hardcore climbing gym. Social status is heavily dependent on skill. Who can clear what course? A unique place in that regard. Normally, “skill” is either not this objectively measured or not weighted as much. At least as far as I can tell.

With all things considered, I decided to try my hand as a wing for the first time ever. He is a real extrovert and also very athletic. HB8 mentioned the highest any beginner ever cleared was level 7. He made it to 6 on his first day. Meanwhile, I only made it to level 4.

The irony is, he had no chance with her. He is too easy going and lacks tension somehow. Polar opposite of me. Not like I really had a chance either. But it was interesting to observe this as a bystander.

I remember a funny comment of HB8-9:

“Friend of Arete, you are wasting far too much strength by taking overly big steps!”
“And you Arete, you are wasting way too much strength by taking overly small steps!”

Couldn't help but laugh. Accurate description of personalities.

I continued being a bro and playing him up if given the opportunity. Also, letting him do most of the talking with her, sometimes saying something to keep it going. Like a talk show host. As my friend went up, HB8 put her attention on me. She told me how to stop ****ting myself up there(lmao). Probably found me mildly amusing, she laughed a bit. As my friend went down he looked at me pissed. While he struggled up there, I have been flirting! (his POV only)

What did I learn? Being a wing man is seriously hard. Afterwards, I went all in being a Wing. Losing him was not worth over something like that. Only person I know in real life who has high standards for himself and is willing to try new stuff.

It didn't work with HB8-9, but I largely overcame my fear of heights. Also, now it crossed my mind to ask him if he wanted to come with me for a field day. He isn't cut out for this, just like I am. I wonder what his reaction will be. I give it 50/50. I'm curious about what it's like to be a DJ in multiplayer if he agrees.



After that, I tried to recharge for the DJ stuff later in the day. Two days prior, I started with dating apps to supplement, but had zero matches. I checked again today but still zero. It was a massive disappointment and dragged down my mood. But I still went on to make attempts.

1. two HB5, brutal burn.
   
   
2. two HB6, fatality. I wanna go home.
   
   
3. At a bar, hesitate at the entrance. A really tall guy that happened to be there picked that up. I was dressed casually.
   Guy: Tried to stare me down(Internal thought: "what is a peasant like you doing here?").
   Me: I stared back" (Internal thought: "got a problem?")
   Guy: “Are you looking for someone?" (stereotypical arrogance. Even tilted his head slightly backwards)
   Me: "Getting something to drink …" (still unsure if this guy even works there. My internal thought torn between “A street fight is about weight class, I can kick his ass!” and “If this is about money, I got more than enough for a damm mid-range bar!”)
   Guy: “It's reservation only” (I'm calling bs, but now I know a fool like him actually runs this place, or his parents are)
   I was extra polite and formal after that, trying to make it clear I'm like 10 years older than him and got more than enough money. But it went way over his head.
   Not once in my life was I disrespected like this. At least not by someone this much younger. I was PISSED. It turned into frustration and emptiness. I did sit down on a bench staring into the distance. Analyzing what went wrong.
   Unknown amount of time passed.
   Me: “It can't be ….” (stands up, starts walking)
   
   
4. Three HB5-7 passed me:
   Me: Hey! Excuse me … How old do I look?
   Me: I know, kind of stupid question (looks away from embarrassment)
   HB5+6+7 line up in front of me like soldiers
   HB5: 19
   HB6: 22!
   HB7: 20?
   Me: For real? (Stunned. I thought something like "I have a fresh haircut today, maybe because I told my stylist about approaches?”)
   HB5: Yes really? How old are you?
   HB6: Why does it matter?
   HB7: What's so interesting about this?
   Me: I wasn't let in.
   HB5: Where?
   Me: That bar over there (points in direction)
   HB5+7: But you clearly look over 18?
   Me: Exactly … (shakes head in disbelief, my mind still at that damm bar)
   HB5+6: So how old are you??
   Me: I'm almost 30 (my tone confident for absolutely no reason)
   HB5+6+7 all stepped closer
   Me: I stepped back. Getting flustered and intimidated (they had all been pretty tall, for a second my instincts kicked in.)
   Me: thanks, I guess I know what was up with that bar now (leaves, because I realized I just took a step back from 3 women. It was beyond pathetic.)
   Talking time: 30 seconds
   I know. This is getting pathetic. I had one job, and ran away from it. But after analyzing it there is something interesting about this.
   
   In my mind, I was literally just a passerby, not a DJ and definitely not a PUA. It was not an “Attempt." I don't think this can be consciously replicated by me in the future. But I felt confident during the moment. Confidence is fleeting and must be used once it's there. I also still had a vivid psychological afterimage I could reenact. So I tried the exact same thing word for word. Emotion for emotion again like an Echo.
   
   
5. HB with her back to me. Shot in the dark. Walked around her to approach from the front. Turned out HB5:
   Me: Hey! Excuse me … How old do I look?
   Me: I know, kind of stupid question (looks away from embarrassment)
   HB5: I … huh? … probably 22?
   Me: For real? (Stunned, making the same expression with the same thought again: “My barber is truly amazing.”)
   HB5: How old are you? (turns towards me, ignoring the green light at the pedestrian walk)
   Me: Almost 30 (from this point on, the "feel" from the previous encounter was fading)
   HB5: Huh …. How old do you think I am?
   Me: I would guess 22
   HB5: 20, but hey, in your case, it's better to look younger than older
   Me: agrees and blanks
   HB5: filled in the blank and continued (I don't remember much from that point on. This is the first time I reached this stage.
   …
   …
   …
   Me: how about we walk together a bit? (I noticed she seemed to need to be somewhere soon but didn't want to leave)
   HB5: Is it fine for you to walk in the same direction?
   Me: Yes, doing 10,000 steps and all. I'm doing that on top of my regular routine.
   HB5: Oh, you're doing sports? (continued to talk about stuff I don't really remember, she filled the blanks)
   …
   …
   …
   Me: Yes, actually, some guys around here told me I'm even looking dangerous and suspicious! (massive mistake, red flag)
   HB5: I'm on my way to my roommate. He is a really tall guy, maybe 2m / 6'6 tall.
   Me: … (smirks at that. “Unless he is buff, I can take him!”)
   HB5: He is kind of really broad and muscular too (lmao, was she reading my thoughts?)
   Me … (stops smirking. Trail of thought: “I'm not doing anything wrong here. If he starts anything, he better kills me." Silently nodding at my flawless logic)
   HB5: … Who even told you this? (Didn't seem scared. More like testing me? Is this what you guys call frame?)
   Me: That doorman at the low-end club over there (point in direction)
   HB5: …
   Me: But that high-end club over there always lets me in! I'm leaving good money there too after all! (tried not to scare her away)
   HB5: What are you doing for a living?
   Me: … (Told her, maybe a bit downplayed. And redirected the topic back at her)
   …
   …
   …
   Me: You probably need to go, right? How about we exchange numbers? (I was just about to justify it and get nervous, but luckily HB5 reacted right away)
   HB5: Sure
   Me: (hands her my phone. Forgets to unlock it, followed by accidently putting up the dial numbers instead of contacts. My perceived value declining by the second, haha)
   Me: … (takes it back like I was just handed 100k in cash. HB5 gave me a confused look. I made a test call to confirm the 100k was real and it went through. HB5 now looked slightly concerned)
   Me (said goodby barely containing my biggest dopamine hit I had in … years? A decade?)
   NUMBER CLOSE! MY FIRST EVER!!!
   
   I was so insanely euphoric, you experienced guys would probably die from laughing if you saw me. Practically like a kid on Christmas. Went full sprint, made some super Mario-style jumps. WAHOOO!! Lmao.
   
   In that mental state I could probably easily get more numbers. People greeted me left and right, including women. My instinct, however, told me to back off for the day. So that was it.
   
   Some things I gotta admit about HB5. She was from a very small village and is therefore used to talking with “strangers." She was alone too. This was practically easy mode.

Result: 1 (1 out of 10) … failed the week once more. But the first ever number close at a cold approach was archived!! It was subjectively my best performing day since I started this boot camp.

Part of me thought up till now that this was impossible. But proof of concept exists now in my mind. Even days later, the entry on my phone confirmed that I really did it. It will serve as motivation going onwards.