"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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dj aim convo

Master Homer

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AIM is generally discouraged as a DJ tool, but here is an example of how far you can get just using IM.

...
me: how did you do on chem test
me: I got 100% cause I'm a genus
her: a genus, huh? all on your own?
me: f*ck that i'm a f*cking prodigy
her: *she giggles to herself*
her: do you mean "genius"?
me: no
me: i meant the taxonomic classification
me: genius
her: just giving you guff
me: i don't want guff
me: i want duff
her: DAMN IT
me: mmm beer
her: take the guff!
me: make me
me: you can't stop this shyt
me: i'm unstoppable
her: I don't want to stop the shyt
her: I want to alter its course
me: it's impossible
her: fine, fine
her: You win
me: too fast for you
me: damn right
me: now take back your "GUFF"
her: give it to me rough, Daddy
me: in the ass?
her: no... no, that wouldn't work
me: ;)
her: guff is best given through the navel
me: so is my fat c*ck
her: uh... I wouldn't know
me: you sure?
her: fairly sure
her: I wasn't that drunk that night...
me: that would be interesting to see
her: why?
me: if you have to ask
me: you might never know
her: probably won't then, because I do have to ask
her: *she pokes you*
her: tell me
me: only if you become my slave for 24 hours
her: uh... i can't do that
me: sorry
her: i have prior obligations
her: please?
her: *she bites her lip* what does being your slave entail?
me: hot sex
her: I just know that I can't do hot sex
her: I'd melt
me: loly
me: what about warm sex
her: what does sex have to do with finding out why seeing me drunk would be interesting?
me: everything
her: lol... I think I no longer have to ask, then
me: lol
her: I'd make a bad slave anyway
her: you're not missing out
me: only I can be the judge of that
her: sorry, Sir
her: *she worships You out of boredom*
me: good slave girl
her: *she squirms with pelasure*
me: thats right, hold on to that pleasure
her: can do, Sir
me: cause if you become the least bit irratating to me
me: your would wish you were never born
her: :-|
her: yes, Sir
me: now bend over!
her: ...
me: i said hot sex
me: you think I was kidding?
her: quite frankly, yse
me: :)
me: i think i will call you slave girl from now on
her: um... wow
her: that's pretty kinky (for me)
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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jakethasnake

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WTF is this shyt
 

Master Homer

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Obviously you got to be careful with provocations like that, but you'd be surprised on how many girls talking like that works with.
 

CaptainObvious#1

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I read it. Don't get it. Are you being a DJ?
I can't tell.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jakethasnake

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Ok man. Do me a favor. Now imagine talking about the things you "talked" (or typed, rather, with carefully measured and planned responses as you can only do with IM) about in person. That's right - your palms sweatin', voice weakenin', your mouth stammerin', eyes shiftin'.....


Now remind yourself of this:


IM is only used to make quick arrangements ("Ok, I'm coming to pick you up in about 30 mintutes!" *signs off*), or to do those little thoughtful things that chicks appreciate (*away message*: "It's your birthday, and I want to tell you how much I enjoy spending time w/you. I'll pick you up at 8 tonight, dress real slutty for me, okay? ;) "). You don't "mack" on IM. In fact, it's virtually impossible. It only works on really geeky chicks.
 

AFK Protector

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jakethasnake....get outta the ice age man.

Talking is good and all, but in the rush of life, esp. high school for me, there's almost no time to chat.

So AIM is quick and convenient and I haven't been on recently cuz of school, but when I did, at least 20 hot chicks on my buddy list were on all the time. I flirt with them and stuff, basically get them wet....

it's also good for testing your boundaries, cuz you dunno how far you can go with jokes and ****, and in real life you'll be like fvcked.

anyways, think what you want. this is like that goddam G_d issue and whether the guy is up there or not. so let's not argue.

nice convo btw.
 

Master Homer

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You got to get to near the end of the convo, there is a bunch of crap in the middle that probably makes no sense to most people.

Yes, don't diss AIM, I've got plenty of pvssy using it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DJ_Dork

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Haha dude this is lame. I personally think that women who instant message a lot = losers as well as men who do it too = losers.
 
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her: give it to me rough, Daddy

Hey I think I know this girl:D :D :D

I read it. I understood what you were doing there. It was aight. There were a few spots that you could improve upon but hell you got the job done.
 

squirrels

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Did you f**k her, though?

I've had plenty of "hot conversations" over AIM. Lots of people are a lot more willing when they can hide behind a screen.
 
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