Divorced women?

[Faca]

My point was just that the women have more advantages when in a divorce. The mother could also use that money for her luxeries.

Now i don't now much about the law in US, but what about if the kids stay with the father, does the mother pay for child support?

 

[penkitten]

My point was just that the women have more advantages when in a divorce. The mother could also use that money for her luxeries.

oh the luxuries of dinner, toothpaste and shampoo. good god get a grip. with my just above minimum wage job, little child support and food stamps, there was a time we just had a ball barely skimping by with all the costs of child care, insurance and school supplies.

Now i don't now much about the law in US, but what about if the kids stay with the father, does the mother pay for child support?

i know of a few sorry excuses for mothers who have walked out on the husband and kids here in this town, and were forced by wage garnishment to pay support and when they became delinquent, our judge sent them to jail, same as the men. deadbeats are deadbeats regardless of gender.

 

[KarmaSutra]

WOW, he is not even with the woman anymore but cuckolding her bastard spawn???

Is there a 12-step program for AFCs?

You ignorant fvcking c0cksucker. Perhaps you should take a minute to move the balls from your eyelids and read what I wrote before you spew bullsh!t.

After more than a decade raising and nurturing a child you expect a man of substance to turn his back on her and walk out because his marriage fell apart? How fvcking childish and immature are you pal?

I wonder if there is a 12 step program for internet pseudo-macho assh0les? Keep jacking off to sheep.

Penkitten, Thanks for clarifying to this dirtchute before I got to him.

 

[penkitten]

There are no dead beat parents. If financial obligation was a requirement for reproduction, nature would have attached wallets to people's gonads. This is just a way of vilifying men. I don't hear the term dead beat mom used much anywhere.

children are the financial obligation of their parents, and when their parents can not afford to care for them, or choose not to afford to care for them, then it becomes the financial obligation of all tax paying citizens to see to it that they are cared for, which is where funding for food stamps and afdc and child coordinated center care and medicaid comes in.
do you want the financial obligations of these children all over the country that are not yours or do you wish that their 2 parents that brought them into the world would at least try to support them on their own?
there are lots of dead beat moms out there too.

People fought for stepparent rights so that lawyers would have more things to fight about, so that they could then complain about how argumentative lawyers are.

step parent rights were fought for the step parents who are support their step children financially, physically and emotionally because their absent parent is not, for whatever reason. they have formed bonds, just as real parents however without having step parent rights, if the parent and step parent divorce, the bond would be broken. it not only hurts the step parent but it hurts the child too.

Children should be treated as property just as slaves once were. When you own something you pay for it. Modern social theory is that children aren't owned by their parents but just exist as beings with needs with no clear connection to anyone.

when getting a divorce settlement, child custody is now generally given as "joint custody" with either one parent as primary and the other as having visitation or 50/50 split. if one parent has primary custody, they are entitled to child support from the other parent and tax refunds and the divorce papers still say how the visitation terms will go. if the parents have a 50/50 split, usually no support is exchanged, they take turns with the tax refunds and the divorce papers will stay say exactly how the terms of the split will go.


a lot of times when no marriage exists, there will still be child custody/visitation and support papers set up to agree upon these things.

then a lot of times, there is no paperwork and nothing is set up or one parent is out there getting things set up for the help with support but the other parent doesn't care and is certainly not going to set up the custody/visitation part of it.

things seem fair when everyone works together for the interest of the children on all parts, however when the parents are not following their terms of the agreements, children suffer.

 

[Latinoman]

Now i don't now much about the law in US, but what about if the kids stay with the father, does the mother pay for child support?

Yes.

 

[Latinoman]

children are the financial obligation of their parents, and when their parents can not afford to care for them, or choose not to afford to care for them, then it becomes the financial obligation of all tax paying citizens to see to it that they are cared for, which is where funding for food stamps and afdc and child coordinated center care and medicaid comes in.
do you want the financial obligations of these children all over the country that are not yours or do you wish that their 2 parents that brought them into the world would at least try to support them on their own?
there are lots of dead beat moms out there too.

I agree 100% with this. It is the parents obligation and NOT mine (as a tax payer) to take care of the child.

However, the amount of child support requested from some parents and the way the law deals with it LEAVE a lot to be desired. And there is the issue of abortion (non-married couples) in which the woman has a choice to choose, but the man doesn't. Especially if he doesn't want the child.

But that's another topic.

I do agree 100% with the essense of your quote above.

when getting a divorce settlement, child custody is now generally given as "joint custody" with either one parent as primary and the other as having visitation or 50/50 split. if one parent has primary custody, they are entitled to child support from the other parent and tax refunds and the divorce papers still say how the visitation terms will go. if the parents have a 50/50 split, usually no support is exchanged, they take turns with the tax refunds and the divorce papers will stay say exactly how the terms of the split will go.

In the 50/50 split...UNLESS mutually agreed (by both parents)...then what courts typically do is see the combine gross monthly income and then determine how much (% wise) comes from the mom and how much comes from the dad.

One that is determined...they go to a table and determine how much of that gross income belongs to the children. And based on the % that each parent contribute, they determine which parent should be giving child support.

Example (make up numbers and figures):

Mother makes $4000.
Father makes $6000.
Total combined is $10,000.
Of which the "tables" determine the children are entitled to $1,000 (make-up number for illustration purposes).

Mother makes 40% of total combined and father makes 60%. And they have 50/50 split. Therefore, Mother is responsible for $400 (40% of 1k) and the father is responsible for $600 (60% of 1K).

Therefore, $600 - $400 = $200. That's the amount of money the dad owns the mom. (Which is unfair -regardless of sex, because both have 50/50 split and in any case half of $200 is $100. So, he should be giving her $100 instead, but doesn't work that way. By giving her $100...everybody balance up to 500 per person. But the law makes him/her pay more due to some idiot that put this tables together).

Now, let's assume father ALSO pays $100 monthly in daycare and another $50 in health insurance for children. That is an additional $150 coming out of his pocket and therefore that is money that "she owes the dad". So, $150 x 40% (her percentage) = $60.

So, instead of giving her the $200...he is giving her $140 (that is 200-60).

That's typically how it works in some states.

 

[Latinoman]

Note: Disclaimer....I'm NOT an accountant nor lawyer nor social worker. The above is for illustration purposes only and can vary from State to State.

 

[wayword]

However, the amount of child support requested from some parents and the way the law deals with it LEAVE a lot to be desired.

(Which is unfair -regardless of sex, because both have 50/50 split and in any case half of $200 is $100. So, he should be giving her $100 instead, but doesn't work that way).

Exactly, you assume your woman's debt when you marry...but when you divorce she doesn't assume her equal share of payments?

Also, the 1986 Bradley Amendment requires that the payment amounts be maintained without regard for the physical capability of the person owing child support (the obligor) to make the notification or regard for their awareness of the need to make the notification.

Which means if you become disabled and can't work anymore...you STILL OWE the same child support payments! They will NOT be reduced to your new lowered income!

Along with other ridiculous cases where:

* A veteran of the first Gulf War who was captured in Kuwait in 1990 and spent nearly five months as an Iraqi hostage being arrested the night after his release for not paying child support while he was a hostage.

* A Texas man wrongly accused in 1980 of murder. After 10 years in prison, the man sued the state for wrongful imprisonment. The state responded with a bill for nearly $50,000 in child support that had not been paid while in prison.

* A Virginia man required to pay retroactive child support even though DNA tests proved that he could not have been the father.

 

[penkitten]

However, the amount of child support requested from some parents and the way the law deals with it LEAVE a lot to be desired.

i know the amounts of child support can seem unfair at times, and i can never understand how one father of one is ordered to pay $550 monthly plus medical whereas another father of one is ordered $253.86 and medical if he can ever afford it and yet another father of one is only ordered $26 per week with no medical. wouldn't it be nice if all the kids could get the same amount of support and medical?

And there is the issue of abortion (non-married couples) in which the woman has a choice to choose, but the man doesn't. Especially if he doesn't want the child.

But that's another topic.

i have alot of different opinions of my own when it comes to abortion, and yes thats another topic but there is alot unsaid about a woman who doesn't want a child and goes and aborts it when the father of the child is willing to support it financially and lovingly regardless of this. he should have the right to have his child and she can choose to terminate her rights or get custody while she pays support, however, there are alot more women out there that would argue that this said woman should not have to be a birthing machine and should not have to put her body through anything she doesn't want to, which would lead alot of other people to argue that she shouldn't have gotten pregnant to start with if she didn't want to give birth in the first place.

obviously, i am pro choice and pro life. i think bringing life into this world is great and is a gift that not all have. i also believe that you shouldn't bring a child into this world, just to offset someone else's or make yourself dependable on the other person involved. i think having choices are great. there are some people who choose not to be parents because they don't have the means, skills, want or desire.(all or any of those options.) i can look the other way when someone says they chose abortion but i can not look the other way when someone neglects their kids due to drug dependence , or beats their kids because they are abusive. i am sure most people feel the same way. no child ever asked to be brought into the world, and i know alot of people didnt ask to be parents either, but hey they are the adult and should take the responsibility.

i feel like both parties should be involved in decisions, however both need to decide on what is the right choice as soon as the pregnancy is official. i don't think they need to wait until the second and third trimesters to get a choice made, as if becomes more costly, harder to perform (most states have cut off dates if abortion is allowed until a certain period where it is no longer allowed.) and harder emotionally on everyone involved, which is where so many of these battles come in because of all the hostility and anger from the situation because it wasnt dealt with head on.

In the 50/50 split...UNLESS mutually agreed (by both parents)...then what courts typically do is see the combine gross monthly income and then determine how much (% wise) comes from the mom and how much comes from the dad.
(Which is unfair -regardless of sex, because both have 50/50 split and in any case half of $200 is $100. So, he should be giving her $100 instead, but doesn't work that way. By giving her $100...everybody balance up to 500 per person. But the law makes him/her pay more due to some idiot that put this tables together).
That's typically how it works in some states.

i really don't personally know anyone that has the 50/50 split that has to pay out more. generally, i think they just agree to provide during their time. however, that must just be the people i know.
i thought the tables were for the other type of custody whereas the absent parent ended up paying 60% and the primary parent paid 40% of their combined incomes.

 

[penkitten]

Exactly, you assume your woman's debt when you marry...but when you divorce she doesn't assume her equal share of payments?

wayword, you assume the debts together. i had ruined credit due to my exhusband. i personally had to work my butt off to pay for in order to purchase a new home for the kids and myself when he wasnt even paying his support. guess what, the debts got paid off and he didnt offer a cent.
sometimes, women take the fall too.

Also, the 1986 Bradley Amendment requires that the payment amounts be maintained without regard for the physical capability of the person owing child support (the obligor) to make the notification or regard for their awareness of the need to make the notification.

Which means if you become disabled and can't work anymore...you STILL OWE the same child support payments! They will NOT be reduced to your new lowered income!

Along with other ridiculous cases where:

i know a guy who stopped paying support because he couldn't work. the drs were having a hard time finding out what was wrong with him. finally he was diagnosed with ms. as soon as his first ssi check came, so did the sheriff with his court paperwork. the mother waited until he recieved a back payment for ssi to report his non payments of support. he was sooooo behind. he went to the court date and they arrested him for the nonsupport and then they took him to be booked. after that they sat him down and worked it out between him and soc sec administration to have his soc sec/ ssi payments distributed where the support plus arrearages could go to the child and then he could have the rest that he was entitled to and then they released him to go home.

 

[Latinoman]

i really don't personally know anyone that has the 50/50 split that has to pay out more.

Now you do.

 

[Faca]

Penkitten, i agree with you.. i see where you comming from and what your beliefs are. Ofcourse that the parents are responsible for their children.. and that the tax-payer must not pay for other children.

There are women, as there are men that take advantage of this situation. Now with luxuries i meant.. that the mother used the money for vacations with her new boyfriend, or a boobjob etc. Ofcourse there are people, that take misuse the system etc.. but every child born is innocent and should have a honest start and support from the parents.

 

[penkitten]

There are women, as there are men that take advantage of this situation. Now with luxuries i meant.. that the mother used the money for vacations with her new boyfriend, or a boobjob etc. Ofcourse there are people, that take misuse the system etc.. but every child born is innocent and should have a honest start and support from the parents.

yes, there are some evil women out there that give us all a bad name, but most women aren't like that.

 

[Wyldfire]

For some reason a lot of guys on here assume that every woman who is divorced got divorced because their husband left them or because they are horrible people. The fact of the matter is...quite often it is the wife that leaves the husband and/or the husband is the one who has some screws loose.

Heck, I stuck with my ex for 10 years in an all out attempt to make it work despite his Borderline Personality Disorder and his self-medicating with alcohol. Once I figured out that he was never going to get help I decided to leave because I just couldn't put up with it anymore. There are many situations much like mine. Sure, there are lots of messed up women...but let's not forget that there are just as many messed up men. Insisting on blaming one sex for everything is denial in it's most destructive and self-defeating ways.

To the original poster...if you like her then get to know her better. The main concern you should have is to make sure that you really know her well and can see yourself with her long term before meeting her child. Don't let yourself or the kid get attached unless you are relatively certain you want to stick around for awhile. And dating a single mother does not mean you are obligated to take on the role of father. Just being respectful, considerate and kind to her child should suffice...IF she is a decent woman. Good luck to you...

 

[KarmaSutra]

blah, blah, blah ,blah blahblahblah . . .

NNNooooooooo. The old bird is back.

I guess I owe Lucifer his fvcking iced tea too.

 

[unstoppable dj]

right on....

If she is HOT then you need to get wise about WHY the other guy did not stick around. Usually HOT women have underdeveloped characters. They rely on their looks to attact a guy .
In my experience ,divorced women with young children want a new partner for two reasons -
A. To provide them with fawning affection and a lot of money.......or
b. To provide them with money and a lot of fawning affection.

They are also the most self-centered women on the planet. Listen out for the girly "Sob Stories " (like how it was all HIS fault and all that shyte- and then run )
Good hunting.

don't go for it...she either wants a babysitter or someone to support her. i have also noticed older women with kids are very insecure so they go after youngins...like yourself...to make them feel better. dont do it dude. plus your 22, do you really want all that responsibilty and what not? get someone your own age that has her **** together and at best just use her as a toy....

 

[Wyldfire]

NNNooooooooo. The old bird is back.

I guess I owe Lucifer his fvcking iced tea too.

Even though you tend to be a dyckhead, I'm actually a very kind and nice person and I just wanted to say...

I hope you and your family are all okay after the 3am tornadoes in Central Florida. I used to work at the Villages and lived in Lady Lake and Fruitland Park. I couldn't believe a lot of the pictures I've been seeing.

Okay...that's all