im not sure if this is the right place to vent so let me know if I should go elsewhere..
But I’ll tell you what, divorced with 3 kids 50/50 isn’t bad at all. 3 years I’ve been doing the DJ thing when I don’t have them and then back to parenting business when I do. And nail it. A lot of people take notice and I like being a dad on my own. I’m kind of an ******* too. I’m not their friend and they know it and have to love me anyway. It’s a pretty sweet deal really. Except for the one thing that keeps me from maintaining any of these for any period of time of more than maybe 3 months (and I’m not complaining, I don’t really mind the cycle of new women) seems to stem from my ex wife in some way or another.
It’s a really lengthy and messed up story but the short version is - no cheating, no money issues, and never abuse other than one time she lost her sht so bad in front of the kids that I had to call the cops. At the time, my fitness level was great, all good things going for me, nice home, great Dad, loved me in the sac and repeated to me that she would miss that the most before she left.
Super odd..
I don’t really know why she left after 17 years together, I always said that if someone doesn’t want to stay they are welcome to leave, and I sort of held the door open. There were arguments and a ton of bs involving a neighbor who was a local police officer and dateline material type stuff but I closed the deal keeping my home, my things, my kids and my dignity.
It came at price. I’m sure I’m over $10,000 in and that’s little for some. Jeezus $10k just to argue to get her out and keep the kids.
False restraining orders and child protective complete bs lies shortly followed our divorce. Had to go to trial once. Good lawyers and playing it smart got me through but holy sheet!
She also remarried right away and I thought women traded up? In at least some way? I’m told I’m being nice when I say she certainly did not choose up based on looks, social status, or money because uh well he was living in his parents basement, not joking. It totally goes against the grain from what I’ve learned here and other places about Hypergamy.
So anyways, my ex likes to periodically (I can almost time it out now) send me an attorney letter full of complete bs that I have to respond to and pay for. Or makes something up and sends it to child protective and again my attorney goes in and calls bs.
It’s expensive and stressful. What I don’t like is this activity hinders even the possibility of a relationship. My ex generally freaks out when I’m with another woman and she sees it and tries to text them/friend them.
Anyway, I’m at a loss on how to deal with this garbage. It throws me off to be sort of held back by her. I don’t intend to do marriage ever again but if there were a potential ltr situation that I might be okay with, my mindset is already subconsciously preprogrammed to think about how my ex will react. And she will react and react to the kids and it’s uncomfortable, especially when they’re hotter. And they all have been... My ex was a solid 10 for many years, after 3 kids still held a strong 8, has completely let herself go and is a 5 or below (I wouldn’t).
She constantly looks for ways to modify (reduce) parenting time. These attempts come at high costs to us both and many hours spent with resources to accurately show her claims to be completely baseless and without merit - as the attorneys put it...
There must be a way or strategy to better deal with this garbage that not only do I think I shouldn’t have to deal with but my kids and a potential partner.
The boundaries are set so far out that I’ve had to order to stay curbside, no phone contact unless it’s an emergency, cannot enter my home (that had to be spelled out today), has to communicate through email service and still I get bs from her attorneys office at our expense and that drains on everything.
So, anyway, probably more of a rant. Solutions to these problems can be tough to find and can often times be so simple but I’m seeing one so I gotta reach out.
Any help would be appreciated and thanks for listening!
But I’ll tell you what, divorced with 3 kids 50/50 isn’t bad at all. 3 years I’ve been doing the DJ thing when I don’t have them and then back to parenting business when I do. And nail it. A lot of people take notice and I like being a dad on my own. I’m kind of an ******* too. I’m not their friend and they know it and have to love me anyway. It’s a pretty sweet deal really. Except for the one thing that keeps me from maintaining any of these for any period of time of more than maybe 3 months (and I’m not complaining, I don’t really mind the cycle of new women) seems to stem from my ex wife in some way or another.
It’s a really lengthy and messed up story but the short version is - no cheating, no money issues, and never abuse other than one time she lost her sht so bad in front of the kids that I had to call the cops. At the time, my fitness level was great, all good things going for me, nice home, great Dad, loved me in the sac and repeated to me that she would miss that the most before she left.
Super odd..
I don’t really know why she left after 17 years together, I always said that if someone doesn’t want to stay they are welcome to leave, and I sort of held the door open. There were arguments and a ton of bs involving a neighbor who was a local police officer and dateline material type stuff but I closed the deal keeping my home, my things, my kids and my dignity.
It came at price. I’m sure I’m over $10,000 in and that’s little for some. Jeezus $10k just to argue to get her out and keep the kids.
False restraining orders and child protective complete bs lies shortly followed our divorce. Had to go to trial once. Good lawyers and playing it smart got me through but holy sheet!
She also remarried right away and I thought women traded up? In at least some way? I’m told I’m being nice when I say she certainly did not choose up based on looks, social status, or money because uh well he was living in his parents basement, not joking. It totally goes against the grain from what I’ve learned here and other places about Hypergamy.
So anyways, my ex likes to periodically (I can almost time it out now) send me an attorney letter full of complete bs that I have to respond to and pay for. Or makes something up and sends it to child protective and again my attorney goes in and calls bs.
It’s expensive and stressful. What I don’t like is this activity hinders even the possibility of a relationship. My ex generally freaks out when I’m with another woman and she sees it and tries to text them/friend them.
Anyway, I’m at a loss on how to deal with this garbage. It throws me off to be sort of held back by her. I don’t intend to do marriage ever again but if there were a potential ltr situation that I might be okay with, my mindset is already subconsciously preprogrammed to think about how my ex will react. And she will react and react to the kids and it’s uncomfortable, especially when they’re hotter. And they all have been... My ex was a solid 10 for many years, after 3 kids still held a strong 8, has completely let herself go and is a 5 or below (I wouldn’t).
She constantly looks for ways to modify (reduce) parenting time. These attempts come at high costs to us both and many hours spent with resources to accurately show her claims to be completely baseless and without merit - as the attorneys put it...
There must be a way or strategy to better deal with this garbage that not only do I think I shouldn’t have to deal with but my kids and a potential partner.
The boundaries are set so far out that I’ve had to order to stay curbside, no phone contact unless it’s an emergency, cannot enter my home (that had to be spelled out today), has to communicate through email service and still I get bs from her attorneys office at our expense and that drains on everything.
So, anyway, probably more of a rant. Solutions to these problems can be tough to find and can often times be so simple but I’m seeing one so I gotta reach out.
Any help would be appreciated and thanks for listening!