"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Ditch Him?

evolvingnerd

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2004
Messages
257
Reaction score
0
Location
Brisbane, Australia
this new "friend" of mine right
he's a total loser
far out it's starting to piss me off
i'm friends with him cause he's nerdy and plays games with me ;)
but also cause he did show similarities with me
but now that i'm trying to become a DJ, i've noticed what a set back he is
he's totally unwilling to try out stuff and intereact with people
admittedly he's had a rough childhood, but ffs, he's gotta learn to socialise!
he came out with some stuff about "all my friends keep leaving me" like in yaer 6 and 10 and when he moved overseas and what not, so now he says he doesn't even try
wtf?!?
any ideas?
as of late, i've been pestering him to come out to teh shops with me and just hang, and today i kinda tested his afcness by forcing him to walk into a shop and ask about clothes
ffs, he couldn't even look her in the eyes, and when i questioned him about it, he's like i'm such an idiot for trying, and the whole exercise as to just going out and talking to ppl who are invariably paid to speak to you was also stupid

:confused: :confused:
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Guitar_Whizz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2002
Messages
1,012
Reaction score
211
Location
UK
Are you from the UK, by any chance? I just recognise your dialect, it's sort of 'english' rather than 'american'. But I'd suggest you improve your grammer, learn to use full stops, capital letters and paragraphs.

But enough about your english. That 'friend' of yours....you will find as you improve yourself, you may 'outgrow' some of the friends you currently have. The reason is, you are changing for the better, while they are staying the same, and you will find they may drag you down.

True friends will respect the fact that you are 'maturing', and you will hang onto them. But you need to find the courage to leave old friends behind if you do not gain anything from being with them, and if they just frustrate you.

Find new friends or strengthen friendships with your true friends would be my advice.
 

ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Messages
1,769
Reaction score
2
I've known this nerd friend since J.H.S.

Since then till now, all hedoes is sit in front of his computer every single day playing games and whatnot.
a few months ago he told me he had social phobia and anxiety disorder.

It was unbelievable...that such a thing could happen to him...but it would make sense why he barely has myuch friends and always stays home.

I havent seen the dude face to face in yrs, but i still talk to him once in awhile online. and occasionally he bugs me to get the game he's playing so we can play together. and i've already lost interest in games. BUT I THINK nerds or ppl who arent that social like to waste their time in front of the comp, just simply cuz they have nothing else to do.

I suggest that if your friend doesnt want to "grow" w/you then leave him. Find a new friend that would grow with you. I just happens, friends from j.h or h.s., we just slowly grow apart...normally cuz we lose similar interests, and just in another ball park. It's just a part of life.

REMEMBER:: YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WANT CHANGE.
Besides, once ppl reach a certain age, it's hard for them to change, personality & habit wise.
 

evolvingnerd

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2004
Messages
257
Reaction score
0
Location
Brisbane, Australia
thanks fellas
i've dragged him out to a social event tonight (harbour cruise)
gonna throw him in the deep end and see what happens
cheers
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

neobrood

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2004
Messages
250
Reaction score
0
Location
toronto, canada
I've known this nerd friend since J.H.S.

Since then till now, all he does is sit in front of his computer every single day playing games and whatnot.
a few months ago he told me he had social phobia and anxiety disorder.
tell me... how old is this guy anyway?
 

evolvingnerd

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2004
Messages
257
Reaction score
0
Location
Brisbane, Australia
ah well
the night was over
big surprise - i didn't dance
and the ladies we met up with, i wasn't as socialable as i dreamed
but as the night progressed and as the alcohol entered my bloodstream, i had them cracking up when needed

and i found, that by changing my posture (i noticed i hunch over much more than i though) and bu thrusting my chest out somewhat, aided by hands in pockets, i found much more ladies checking me out
but still no approaches
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Originally posted by evolvingnerd
ah well
the night was over
big surprise - i didn't dance
and the ladies we met up with, i wasn't as socialable as i dreamed
but as the night progressed and as the alcohol entered my bloodstream, i had them cracking up when needed

and i found, that by changing my posture (i noticed i hunch over much more than i though) and bu thrusting my chest out somewhat, aided by hands in pockets, i found much more ladies checking me out
but still no approaches
Walking tall (literally and figuratively) makes all the difference in the world.

But it looks like what we have here is a case of the myopic leading the blind. So you've found this cool website that teaches you how to be more sociable with women, and suddenly you're trying to play "Grandmaster DJ" and teach everyone else "your" style.

Take it easy. Nothing was ever gained by trying to force style on people. Lead by example. As you start to get good with women, if your friend is interested, he'll WANT to hang around you more and learn your tricks, and all you have to do is give him the opportunity.

If not, just use him for a gaming partner and make other friends. A real "alpha-male" doesn't try to force betas into becoming alphas or get p!ssed off when they don't succeed. You should be able to stand tall in ANY company you keep.
 

MacDiddy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2004
Messages
1,070
Reaction score
2
Location
Down South. Between the Y junction.
Dude, quit blamming your mate for ruining your game or for not sharing your level of enthusiasm for the opposite sex. Go out and find new ones who share your new philosophies in life. Good Luck.
 

evolvingnerd

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2004
Messages
257
Reaction score
0
Location
Brisbane, Australia
true true
i did come out sounding like quite the jackass
but my friend here couldn't even socialise with my nerd buddies
nevermind
i'm pretty sure he's interested in becoming more successful with women
i'll go with squirrel's advice
cheers
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top