Hey guys,
I have read these forums and the bible for a while, but haven't posted since I'm still an RAFC, and haven't had many problems that I couldn't learn about from other posts. Until now.
You see, I've been friends with a girl for a while. I was interested in her back when I didn't know about the site, told her how I felt instead of asking her out (man...what I chump I was
), got LJBF'd, and eventually became friends. We had a lot in common, got along perfectly, and soon I was the dreaded...MALE BEST FRIEND. But I was fine with that!
However, there were a few things about our friendship that I didn't realize the significance of. When I was at places with her as a friend, I wasn't interested in other girls. I told myself I was just having fun tonight, and would try to get girls when I went to college. After all, they'd definitely be smart, unlike the girls I'd meet at a mall, who would all clearly be materialistic hors looking for some rich guy to buy them things. Basically, I rationalized away the feeling.
When I got home from spending time with her, I often felt desperate, wishing I was in a relationship. I told myself these things randomly happened due to being single for so long, or due to hearing a romantic song on the radio, or due to seeing a family member watch a romantic comedy...whatever excuse I could get. I felt better the next day, and figured it was just a weird occurance. Once again, I rationalized away the feeling.
Basically, I was emasculated when I was with her. I wasn't interested in other women. She was in power, the prize. But I rationalized away the feeling.
When she started losing interest in her boyfriend who was turning into an AFC, I magically started getting recognizable desire for her. I definitely wanted to go out with her when she finally broke up with him.
I told myself I was in power. I neghitted her...but made it clear I was joking. The last time I was out with her (just as friends...), I confronted her on a few stupid things she did, but she really wasn't phased.
I thought that she was just a female friend that I was a bit too interested in, and that I was somehow special and was going to be DJ enough to get the power I needed, and that the bonds of our friendship and my interest in other girls would make things to the rest of the way.
At the end of our night I paused as I waited to ask something I had forgot, and she arrogantly told me that she wouldn't go out with me. I was confused...I wasn't going to ask her that!
I reread the section "Kill that Desperation!" in the book of Pook. I realized I was showing her a lot of signs of desperation, I was supplicating too much when we disagreed, giving her too much attention, replying to her attempts to contact me way too quickly, telling her everything about myself (close friend, after all), and a few others not on Pook's list. For example, I subtly (or so I thought!) downplayed another guy she said she was interested in. Without even realizing what I was doing! I knew I seemed obviously interested in her now. She had the power. As if going after a female friend wasn't already a stupid idea.
I used a NLP technique to distance myself from her. But that night, I had a dream. The guy she said she was interested in and myself were competing for her in ways she dictated like trained monkeys. I had another dream where several girls were trying to get my attention, and I was in power (but she was absent).
Oh god. The strange feelings while being with her and after being with her and only due to her all made sense now, and all the factors pointed to one AFC disease.
Oneitus. The disease hasn't taken control of me fully yet, but the diagnosis was accurate.
Knowing how being with her leaves me emasculated, unhappy, and wanting more, I now realize I can't go on being her "male best friend". I either need to be able to have her, or not be her male friend.
I'm basically going to do moderate ganji game on her. We're going to colleges in different parts of the USA in a little more than a month, so that will be a very good way to get away from her. But for now, I need to start the detachment process so I can at the very least be fully ready to go after girls in college, if not before then. I basically want my balls back.
Her social web is large and overlaps with mine, so the process could cause me to lose contacts and friends if I directly confront her.
So I need advice about running this very particular ganji game from people who are experts at this stuff. I'll do the typical ganji stuff, like tell her everything's great if she asks me what's wrong, and play dumb if she confronts me more directly. Also I want to know if I should officially ask her out before starting the ganji game just to get officially rejected. She definitely suspects it, and I did get rejected by her before. It's going to be somewhat hard, but I have the inner game to get over losing her, if that happens.
Ugh...just writing this post has me feeling that dry, powerless feeling of oneitus in my gut. Thank god for NLP, the DJ Bible and my male friends.
METAPHOR SUMMARY PARTLY STOLEN FROM FINDING NEMO (since my post is WAY too long)
I was a fish that got caught by this girl, who looked at me, decided I was too small to eat, but seemed interesting enough to keep. I was thrown into the friend zone fishtank, which I thought was the sea. I got fed oneitus food by her all the time, making me attached to her. But the food isn't the kind that lets a little AFC fish grow into a DJ shark. This continued for sometime until she put me in a plastic baggy to take along while the fishtank got changed and accidentally let me catch a glimpse of the REAL sea. Now I want to escape by playing dead until I get flushed down the toilet and allowed to drain out into the sea, where I can grow into a big DJ shark. And maybe eat her later
I have read these forums and the bible for a while, but haven't posted since I'm still an RAFC, and haven't had many problems that I couldn't learn about from other posts. Until now.
You see, I've been friends with a girl for a while. I was interested in her back when I didn't know about the site, told her how I felt instead of asking her out (man...what I chump I was
), got LJBF'd, and eventually became friends. We had a lot in common, got along perfectly, and soon I was the dreaded...MALE BEST FRIEND. But I was fine with that!However, there were a few things about our friendship that I didn't realize the significance of. When I was at places with her as a friend, I wasn't interested in other girls. I told myself I was just having fun tonight, and would try to get girls when I went to college. After all, they'd definitely be smart, unlike the girls I'd meet at a mall, who would all clearly be materialistic hors looking for some rich guy to buy them things. Basically, I rationalized away the feeling.
When I got home from spending time with her, I often felt desperate, wishing I was in a relationship. I told myself these things randomly happened due to being single for so long, or due to hearing a romantic song on the radio, or due to seeing a family member watch a romantic comedy...whatever excuse I could get. I felt better the next day, and figured it was just a weird occurance. Once again, I rationalized away the feeling.
Basically, I was emasculated when I was with her. I wasn't interested in other women. She was in power, the prize. But I rationalized away the feeling.
When she started losing interest in her boyfriend who was turning into an AFC, I magically started getting recognizable desire for her. I definitely wanted to go out with her when she finally broke up with him.
I told myself I was in power. I neghitted her...but made it clear I was joking. The last time I was out with her (just as friends...), I confronted her on a few stupid things she did, but she really wasn't phased.
I thought that she was just a female friend that I was a bit too interested in, and that I was somehow special and was going to be DJ enough to get the power I needed, and that the bonds of our friendship and my interest in other girls would make things to the rest of the way.
At the end of our night I paused as I waited to ask something I had forgot, and she arrogantly told me that she wouldn't go out with me. I was confused...I wasn't going to ask her that!
I reread the section "Kill that Desperation!" in the book of Pook. I realized I was showing her a lot of signs of desperation, I was supplicating too much when we disagreed, giving her too much attention, replying to her attempts to contact me way too quickly, telling her everything about myself (close friend, after all), and a few others not on Pook's list. For example, I subtly (or so I thought!) downplayed another guy she said she was interested in. Without even realizing what I was doing! I knew I seemed obviously interested in her now. She had the power. As if going after a female friend wasn't already a stupid idea.
I used a NLP technique to distance myself from her. But that night, I had a dream. The guy she said she was interested in and myself were competing for her in ways she dictated like trained monkeys. I had another dream where several girls were trying to get my attention, and I was in power (but she was absent).
Oh god. The strange feelings while being with her and after being with her and only due to her all made sense now, and all the factors pointed to one AFC disease.
Oneitus. The disease hasn't taken control of me fully yet, but the diagnosis was accurate.
Knowing how being with her leaves me emasculated, unhappy, and wanting more, I now realize I can't go on being her "male best friend". I either need to be able to have her, or not be her male friend.
I'm basically going to do moderate ganji game on her. We're going to colleges in different parts of the USA in a little more than a month, so that will be a very good way to get away from her. But for now, I need to start the detachment process so I can at the very least be fully ready to go after girls in college, if not before then. I basically want my balls back.
Her social web is large and overlaps with mine, so the process could cause me to lose contacts and friends if I directly confront her.
So I need advice about running this very particular ganji game from people who are experts at this stuff. I'll do the typical ganji stuff, like tell her everything's great if she asks me what's wrong, and play dumb if she confronts me more directly. Also I want to know if I should officially ask her out before starting the ganji game just to get officially rejected. She definitely suspects it, and I did get rejected by her before. It's going to be somewhat hard, but I have the inner game to get over losing her, if that happens.
Ugh...just writing this post has me feeling that dry, powerless feeling of oneitus in my gut. Thank god for NLP, the DJ Bible and my male friends.
METAPHOR SUMMARY PARTLY STOLEN FROM FINDING NEMO (since my post is WAY too long)
I was a fish that got caught by this girl, who looked at me, decided I was too small to eat, but seemed interesting enough to keep. I was thrown into the friend zone fishtank, which I thought was the sea. I got fed oneitus food by her all the time, making me attached to her. But the food isn't the kind that lets a little AFC fish grow into a DJ shark. This continued for sometime until she put me in a plastic baggy to take along while the fishtank got changed and accidentally let me catch a glimpse of the REAL sea. Now I want to escape by playing dead until I get flushed down the toilet and allowed to drain out into the sea, where I can grow into a big DJ shark. And maybe eat her later
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