Dissolving My Marriage

[Manure Spherian]

@EyeBRollin, while they may be knowledgeable in relationships, knows nothing about family court.

There has not been ONE freaking academic from the right or left who has been able to challenge the extensive investigation Dr. Baskerville has done on the subject. “It’s a business of extortion and kidnapping,” he said. And that’s the truth!

What I do wonder about, and where I agree with @EyeBRollin is whether men generally are properly vetting women they plan to marry. I think some do a horrible job, just as many women do with men. Again, not all men, as there is no freaking way to predict anyone’s future actions or behaviors. And women are not only financially incentivized to divorce, they are so socially as well. That’s why some are applauded and view themselves as powerful for no-fault divorcing, despite ruining their families’ lives and disgracing them.

Quote from Sexual Utopia in Power:

“Divorced fathers have their cars booted and their driver’s and professional licenses revoked, which prevents them from getting or keeping employment. They routinely lose their houses, and many end up in homeless shelters, which one philosophically described as “better than being in jail.” Baskerville cites one case of a father being hospitalized for malnutrition because he was not left enough money to feed himself adequately.”

 

[RickTheToad]

Make no mistake, it is our job as men to screen properly and make a sound choice about if and whom we shall marry. Sorry about that guy with the cheating wife. He should not have wifed a 304. The signs were likely there beforehand.

Agree 100%. He's way too nice of a guy.

 

[Manure Spherian]

It is indeed a double standard.

I hold women to another double standard but it’s alright we disagree on this.

I do not think a man has to be a Rollo Tomato-approved, “high-value man” to cheat. I’m not such a man and I have been presented with opportunity to cheat, but didn’t.

Moving on. Do you think many men do poor screening? Although I do not think any man deserves to be mistreated by his wife, I have wondered how both men and women cannot spot people likely to cheat. I have good instincts and can “smell” such people, so to speak, in addition to forming a profile of them based on life history and a sixth sense.

 

[RickTheToad]

There has not been ONE freaking academic from the right or left who has been able to challenge the extensive investigation Dr. Baskerville has done on the subject. “It’s a business of extortion and kidnapping,” he said. And that’s the truth!

What I do wonder about, and where I agree with @EyeBRollin is whether men generally are properly vetting women they plan to marry. I think some do a horrible job, just as many women do with men. Again, not all men, as there is no freaking way to predict anyone’s future actions or behaviors. And women are not only financially incentivized to divorce, they are so socially as well. That’s why some are applauded and view themselves as powerful for no-fault divorcing, despite ruining their families’ lives and disgracing them.

Quote from Sexual Utopia in Power:

“Divorced fathers have their cars booted and their driver’s and professional licenses revoked, which prevents them from getting or keeping employment. They routinely lose their houses, and many end up in homeless shelters, which one philosophically described as “better than being in jail.” Baskerville cites one case of a father being hospitalized for malnutrition because he was not left enough money to feed himself adequately.”

The idea was, since for so long, if a couple divorced, the female would be left destitute and a ward of the state. These laws, which came about in the 70s and beyond are to take that responsibility from the State and move it on to the ex-spouse. Since there are not much help available for males; too bad so sad, no one cares. That's basically how it is.

 

[RickTheToad]

I hold women to another double standard but it’s alright we disagree on this.

I do not think a man has to be a Rollo Tomato-approved, “high-value man” to cheat. I’m not such a man and I have been presented with opportunity to cheat, but didn’t.

Moving on. Do you think many men do poor screening? Although I do not think any man deserves to be mistreated by his wife, I have wondered how both men and women cannot spot people likely to cheat. I have good instincts and can “smell” such people, so to speak, in addition to forming a profile of them based on life history and a sixth sense.

Don't listen to Tollo Romassi (George Miller). Anyone who can't use their real name is pathetic. Aaron Clarey, Rich Cooper, Kevin Samuels (RIP), etc. say want we all want; at least they are man enough to use their real names.

 

[RickTheToad]

I hold women to another double standard but it’s alright we disagree on this.

I do not think a man has to be a Rollo Tomato-approved, “high-value man” to cheat. I’m not such a man and I have been presented with opportunity to cheat, but didn’t.

Moving on. Do you think many men do poor screening? Although I do not think any man deserves to be mistreated by his wife, I have wondered how both men and women cannot spot people likely to cheat. I have good instincts and can “smell” such people, so to speak, in addition to forming a profile of them based on life history and a sixth sense.

Dude's think with their d!ck and not with their head sometimes. Most, nowadays, live in the moment (FOMO), and would take any pvssy which is offered to them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I do not think a man has to be a Rollo Tomato-approved, “high-value man” to cheat. I’m not such a man and I have been presented with opportunity to cheat, but didn’t.

I don’t think married men should be “out there” but I also think it is 100% the woman’s responsibility to keep her man. A good wife is infinitely more valuable to a husband and family than random pvssy. So when a man steps out, there is often a shortcoming on her part or she’s just flat out mistreating him.

I also dislike how society is destroying families by encouraging women to “punish” a “cheater” by divorcing. It doesn’t actually end up helping anyone. The husband gets financially ruined, the wife’s SMV on the open market is worse off, and the children now grow up in a broken home. It’s toxic all around. And for what? Cause his wife withheld sex? The hot young secretary is offering to do what the wife won’t? He got drunk one night? It’s just stupid all around.

Moving on. Do you think many men do poor screening?

Certainly. In men’s defense, few 21st century western women are worthy of being wives. Most are delusional, entitled biotches.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I disagree, but you have a right to your own opinion. The data seems to disagree with your statement though. This data is within the last year. I'm pretty sure you said you'd be open to cheating on your spouse if you wanted. If that is actually true, then why get married in the first place?

I assure you, a piece of paper is not going to keep the female faithful. It may keep the male faithful so the courts don't fleece him; but not the female since, in general, she has the most to gain. My scenario is the average scenario that is played out around the country. Since you have never been through a contested divorce, then you really have no idea what you are talking about. I know a guy who's is going through a divorce since 2021 since the ex-wife, who's been cheating on him since they were 1st married, refuses to grant the divorce. The scum she's cheating on him with has since moved in with her and he's living in a small apartment. He doesn't get to see his kids more than twice a month and also had to file bankruptcy. This is in the state where you currently reside: New Jersey.

Believe what you wish, but marriage rates are falling. Females are starting to earn more than males, and the males with the assets and income are too concerned about divorce.


Sources:

https://www.cnbc.com/video/2023/07/19/why-are-people-not-getting-married-anymore.html#:~:text=Almost%2090%25%20of%20the%20world's,big%20factors%20here%20in%20play

.

The Societal Cost of the Marriage Decline

Marriage rates are plummeting. More young people are delaying or avoiding dating altogether. Pew Research recently found that 1 in 4 40-year-old American adults have never been married. Parenthood is viewed with much greater apprehension among young people than it once was.

ifstudies.org

.

Is Your State in Step with National Marriage and Divorce Trends?

Puerto Rico had among the lowest marriage and divorce rates in 2021.

www.census.gov

https://www.axios.com/2023/02/25/marriage-declining-single-dating-taxes-relationships

Your friend hasn’t been totally forthcoming with you if he’s seeing his kids a handful of times a month and he’s only pointing the finger at the court.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Don't listen to Tollo Romassi (George Miller). Anyone who can't use their real name is pathetic. Aaron Clarey, Rich Cooper, Kevin Samuels (RIP), etc. say want we all want; at least they are man enough to use their real names.

I cannot stand Rollo for more than one minute, literally. The other guys are alright, though I think Richard Cooper is yet another RP gynocentrist and proxy feminist considering his incessant talk about ultra-high income (“I know me who make eight figures who…”) and “being on a mission” and “making a dent in the world” as if men have to become superheroes to be worthy of women. He does have some good stuff though.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The idea was, since for so long, if a couple divorced, the female would be left destitute and a ward of the state. These laws, which came about in the 70s and beyond are to take that responsibility from the State and move it on to the ex-spouse. Since there are not much help available for males; too bad so sad, no one cares. That's basically how it is.

times have changed... women are now equal to men. they can also get jobs. work as plumbers... ditch diggers... brick layers.. etc...

with the advent of big government (women voted for this), being a "ward" of the state isn't a big deal. most people who are wards of the state are well feed (grossly if judging by their waist size) and receive housing benefits.

imagine a society where love and commitment does not flow from a stupid piece of paper... but from people actually loving and committing to their partners.

in practice, with more kids born out of wedlock, marriage as we know it is slowly dying anyways.. hopefully, the idea of commitment and loving each other without the paper that induces one side to break their vows.. hopefully that gains traction. get government out of relationship.

to be honest, now thinking about it some more, if the OP was younger, I don't think, he would have ever married.

Marriage is Disappearing from Britain

Marriage is disappearing in Britain and will likely all but fizzle out sometime in the second half of this century. It’s a social revolution that has recently been charted by the census published this year and covering 10 years of social trends in Britain. The census confirms the trend away from...

ifstudies.org

he would probably just cohabitat... so in a way, he's just trying to "keep up with the times"... only, old people care about this "marriage thing"... I wonder if most young people who cohabitate and have kids... I wonder if they care for commitment and love? maybe a good many do, but they just don't care to get the "paper". the marriages certificate.

 

[Dr.Suave]

My spidey sense was tingling because someone mentioned the words "double standard". Its not a double standard, its a different standard.

Im gonna f0cking put it in my signature. Carry on, brothers.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I wonder if they care for commitment and love? maybe a good many do, but they just don't care to get the "paper"

I believe many are likely in boyfriend-girlfriend mumbo jumbo.

 

[Manure Spherian]

My spidey sense was tingling because someone mentioned the words "double standard". Its not a double standard, its a different standard.

Im gonna f0cking put it in my signature. Carry on, brothers.

I only have the double standard of “slut shaming”. Actual, rigorous slut shaming minimizes male sexual freedom though.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Divorce with kids is a strange thing. Mine was probably as much a knife fight and down right nasty as its being out to be made here. So it’s been about 9 months executed on the papers and I’m pretty sure my ex wife just alluded to masturbation over text. That is really what OP is looking at here I would imagine too. It sounds like this woman feels entrenched and convicted at the very least. This is the life you can probably expect - sexual innuendos about 2.75 years later. Is it worth nuking it for something that doesn’t exist badly enough to justify putting up with the misery, being described by posters in honest terms

 

[Millard Fillmore]

The biggest issue I see here is this. @Money & Muscle has this idea in his head that the grass is greener out there somewhere.

For me that certainly has been true. But often the grass isn't greener. What happens if the grass is greener for your attractive wife but not greener for you? What if you end up confirming that you had a really loyal person & good mother & wife and all you find is trash?

You've written some good stuff but on this point I think you're demonstrating a mental trap. "What if this decision backfires" is no way to live if you are sound and sure.

Fear of the unknown is not a good reason to stay in something miserable . He doesn't need to find anyone better, he just needs to do right by him and his daughter.

Only he knows what that is. The grass is always greener if you're true to yourself.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Update

I couldn't stick to it.
I was watching a movie on the couch with my daughter (7) and she just came over, put her head on my chest and nuzzled into me. I cried.

I was watching my wife withdraw completely. She was on the way out, at least emotionally. It wouldn't have been long before she was on board with the full divorce and off doing whatever it is she wanted to do... and I'd be losing so much time with my daughter that I wouldn't know the next time I could hold my daughter like I was in that moment.

Despite my better judgement, I went with the only choice I could bear to handle. I'm staying married.
Honestly, I feel like a pvssy for it. I don't know if this decision will come to bite me in the *ss, but if it happens - at least I can tell my daughter I did everything in my power to keep our family whole.


On the upswing...
- My wife has cooked more family meals in the last 2 days than she has in the last 2 years (literally two, but hey).
- I am very pointedly aiming myself at becoming indifferent to my wife's emotions, that way I can mute any arguments before they happen. I've also been watching some Psyhacks videos to help... Sandwich Method for feelz and learning to tame my own anger (only way to win is to not play).
- My wife is looking at daytime collars (her decision), beginning lapdance/twerk lessons tomorrow, and getting into the best shape of her life. I am helping her with what I can here.
- I told my wife to keep her instagram account to stay in touch with old friends (there is 0 evidence of shady behavior here, so I believe my wishes for her to delete the account are too controlling).
- I will be actively gaming other women for catch and release, as well as increasing my own social skills as I'm decidedly stunted here.
- I am upgrading my wardrobe, getting things tailored, etc.
- I will be limiting my time on this forum and /MRP.
- I've started reading The Art of Seduction and will be leaning into building emotional connections (something I'm deficient in).
^much of this is effectively Dread, but without the covert contract

Things I need help with:
Getting wife to come back to me after an argument.
Helping guide my wife to improve herself as I have been doing (encouragement, etc.).

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I feel like a pvssy for it

Don't sweat it man. Many of us have dirtied the water and then later have drunken it like a refreshing XX with Lime and Sal.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Update

I couldn't stick to it.
I was watching a movie on the couch with my daughter (7) and she just came over, put her head on my chest and nuzzled into me. I cried.

I was watching my wife withdraw completely. She was on the way out, at least emotionally. It wouldn't have been long before she was on board with the full divorce and off doing whatever it is she wanted to do... and I'd be losing so much time with my daughter that I wouldn't know the next time I could hold my daughter like I was in that moment.

Despite my better judgement, I went with the only choice I could bear to handle. I'm staying married.
Honestly, I feel like a pvssy for it. I don't know if this decision will come to bite me in the *ss, but if it happens - at least I can tell my daughter I did everything in my power to keep our family whole.


On the upswing...
- My wife has cooked more family meals in the last 2 days than she has in the last 2 years (literally two, but hey).
- I am very pointedly aiming myself at becoming indifferent to my wife's emotions, that way I can mute any arguments before they happen. I've also been watching some Psyhacks videos to help... Sandwich Method for feelz and learning to tame my own anger (only way to win is to not play).
- My wife is looking at daytime collars (her decision), beginning lapdance/twerk lessons tomorrow, and getting into the best shape of her life. I am helping her with what I can here.
- I told my wife to keep her instagram account to stay in touch with old friends (there is 0 evidence of shady behavior here, so I believe my wishes for her to delete the account are too controlling).
- I will be actively gaming other women for catch and release, as well as increasing my own social skills as I'm decidedly stunted here.
- I am upgrading my wardrobe, getting things tailored, etc.
- I will be limiting my time on this forum and /MRP.
- I've started reading The Art of Seduction and will be leaning into building emotional connections (something I'm deficient in).
^much of this is effectively Dread, but without the covert contract

Things I need help with:
Getting wife to come back to me after an argument.
Helping guide my wife to improve herself as I have been doing (encouragement, etc.).

it's a trap... you will be back women are good at these types of things. she will use what you did against you. it's only a matter of time.

men serve and protect - that is our vice and our virtue. women are mercurial- that is their vice, and their virtual. life is not logical. we cannot live like machines. but as men.
. it is hard to not listen to the sirens especially that which calls for our help and our protection.

good luck with the OP... but I think it will be for not.

 

[Money & Muscle]

it's a trap... you will be back

It's possible, I won't deny it.

Things have got to change in my marriage. I hope we can segue into that change from here. If not, then I guess I'll be posting another insane sounding thread in the future

 

[BeExcellent]

Fair enough OP. Wishing you the best as always. The emotional connection is extremely important. As you read Art of Seduction pay attention to the section on "Anti-Seduction". Avoid those anti seductive behaviors.

You can have great sexual chemistry & connection in marriage. Your wife seems willing to explore with you and that's good. Read and re read that book. You can learn alot there. But don't forget real intimacy. That is the value add a good marriage can give you that hundreds of random sexual encounters never will.