Dissed at the dance social or not? Need advice.

[Jean Valjean]

Guys, need advice on the DJ way

I met a slender young woman and really like her. She gave me her number last Friday. We planned to go to a Salsa dance tomorrow (Sat) . I mentioned a Swing dance tonight(Friday) she said she was coming with a guy friend but turned up alone. We had a great time together when I could get her for a dance - feeling alot of vibes from her and good kino.

Problem is other guys had her out dancing ... alot... One bald headed dude who is friends with her kept dragging her away from me. He would just grab her hand and drag her away. She put up little protests but danced with him 2 -3 dances in a row. I think if she did not like him it they would not be dancing. I walked away or acted cool and uncaring. Why get into an argument over a chick I hardly know and it is not even a date. She drove her own car and paid her own way. Am I right?

Then some tall dude (total stranger to her) began monopolizing her. I just danced with other ladies and acted like I couldn't care less.

Finally to test the waters I approached her while she was talking to the tall dude to ask her for the dance. My game was to find out if I was number 1, and he was just a desperate guy. Well .. she told me NO but wait for the next dance (prob so she could keep talking to tall dude). I ignored her the rest of the evening and left the dance while she was still dancing with the tall dude.

1. Was her behaviour just total low interest in me

2. How should I handle it tomorrow at the Salsa dance when I see her

3. Did I do the right thing tonight just letting her dance with whoever - why get into an argument over a chick who has low interest in me to begin with.
Was there any turf for me to protect

4. Damn it, attractive women are difficult - how the hell do you keep them!!!!!

 

[Desdinova]

Never try to find out if you're still the priority. You showed your insecurity and she smelled it like a bad fart.

You should KNOW that you are number one, and she risked ****ing up future dates with you.

The best thing to do is dance with the other women and grab yourself a new partner.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jean,
Yes I know how you feel,but in the Dance environment that I am used to,it is usual for Women to share themselves around,tradition has it that the last dance is for your special partner...While she is enjoying herself with other guys,use it as an opportunity to dance with other partners,learn new steps,meet interesting people,the one thing you can't do is get upset....In Ballroom you change the Dance maybe every bracket,Salsa and Tango you don't,so it becomes a bit boring with just one partner...Show a bit of confidence and she will respect you more.

 

[Heretolearn]

lol - get used to the dance scene. Sounds like you might be considering you dance swing and salsa.

A dance post from me could be 5000 words on this subject but the other guys already said it.

Your responsibility and only objective:

Have FUN!!!

'The best thing to do is dance with the other women and grab yourself a new partner.'

Have a ball. You have sweet music and a whole bunch of people to hang out with. Even if just chilling chatting to the regulars guys or girls. Its a party mode not a you two together under the boardwalk alone sharing stories of your childhood as the moon shimmers across the water.

If you want to progress, get her for a date OUTSIDE the dance scene for just the two of you. I.e something to eat after practice/social. NOT being the doormat, want a lift to/from the social which is where you can get mistaken.

Good luck and do please report.

Have fun at the Salsa social!!!

 

[Jean Valjean]

lol - get used to the dance scene. Sounds like you might be considering you dance swing and salsa.

A dance post from me could be 5000 words on this subject but the other guys already said it.

Your responsibility and only objective:

Have FUN!!!

'The best thing to do is dance with the other women and grab yourself a new partner.'

Have a ball. You have sweet music and a whole bunch of people to hang out with. Even if just chilling chatting to the regulars guys or girls. Its a party mode not a you two together under the boardwalk alone sharing stories of your childhood as the moon shimmers across the water.

If you want to progress, get her for a date OUTSIDE the dance scene for just the two of you. I.e something to eat after practice/social. NOT being the doormat, want a lift to/from the social which is where you can get mistaken.

Good luck and do please report.

Have fun at the Salsa social!!!

I'll report back tonight.

I know the dance social scene. Problem is that pretty women are scarce and she was the best looking woman there over 20. Also she lets the guys get very physical with her (close dancing)

Some guys there get a woman then monopolize them for the evening that is what was happening. I would think if she really wanted to hang more with me she would have found a way, right?

The bald dude is very aggressive in a crazy fun way and is diipping her, hugging her chasing her all over the place. Told me he loves to dance with beautiful women as he hugged her.

You mean don't be a doormat and drive her over or pay her way so she can snooze with the other guys, right.

 

[Tazman]

Sounds like the perfect environment for her and a pain in the ass for you. I wouldn't want to be chasing a girl in a place where there is so much competition (where it's customary to just walk up and take a woman away from someone else to dance). It becomes too much of a hassle because unless she's all about you you're going to have to "work" to get her attention.

 

[Heretolearn]

I'll report back tonight.

I know the dance social scene. Problem is that pretty women are scarce and she was the best looking woman there over 20. Also she lets the guys get very physical with her (close dancing)

Some guys there get a woman then monopolize them for the evening that is what was happening. I would think if she really wanted to hang more with me she would have found a way, right?

The bald dude is very aggressive in a crazy fun way and is diipping her, hugging her chasing her all over the place. Told me he loves to dance with beautiful women as he hugged her.

You mean don't be a doormat and drive her over or pay her way so she can snooze with the other guys, right.

Looking forward to your report. I LOVE dancing. I go there just for that. There are some gorgeous girls there but some experienced pros warned me about them. I.e generally the hot ones in the scene are SUPER high maintenance/crazy and the hot ones new to the scene are pounced on and flowered with attention. Thus a tough environment. ESPECIALLY as messages are easily misinterpreted.

My experience, a girl who *really* likes you WILL GO OUT OF HER WAY IN THIS SCENE for you to notice her. If not directly interacting with you, then I GUARANTEE her interactions with others will be in your line of sight etc.

I have had girls say 'I love the way you dance' and do all sorts of things on/after the walk to the car after a good night. I have also had the unrequited infatuation dance crush a million times without results. Plus relationships in the scene too.

Overall, if you LOVE dancing go there and do your thing. But unless you have a solid relationship before dancing, its tough to build one solely through social dancing. If you are that keen, maybe ask the girl to be a practice partner outside of class. However, once again, I recommend the other methods on this site if you are interested in the girl. I have ONLY seen situations like this work out badly.

Good luck though and I look forward to your report

 

[Jean Valjean]

my report

The lady called me to tell me she was sorry was talking to the other (tall) guy so much but she is doing wierd things lately and also cannot go out with me to the Salsa dance.

She went on to say that it all stems from the fact that she is obsessed and in love with a guy who does not love her. She has been trying to go out and meet new people but it is not working so she is taking a break to figure herself out

she wanted to talk more .. but I applied some DJ style here and ended it by saying that the sports game Dew Cup was on and I have to watch it because someone I know is competing .. I wished her good luck and said bye

Hey I'm losing girl friends left and right WTF

I went to Salsa and asked the last girl I danced with (half my age) to go out and she said sure - so I will follow that up and see where it goes

God was she hOt when she moved her azz and hips

 

[jophil28]

The lady called me to tell me she was sorry was talking to the other (tall) guy so much but she is doing wierd things lately and also cannot go out with me to the Salsa dance.

She went on to say that it all stems from the fact that she is obsessed and in love with a guy who does not love her. She has been trying to go out and meet new people but it is not working so she is taking a break to figure herself out

I was planning to decode this in some detail , but changed my mind. IT's tedious shyte.
Suffice to say it is just regular low grade girly BS . It is a variant of " I am so confused..I don't know what I want " which really is her coded way to saying that she does not have enough interest in you to want to see you again.